Is there someone you could be with non-stop?

[Stacey]

donkey_kebab, (although I prefer chicken)
I send you a 'non contact' hug. It's a big one! Squeeeeeze tight!
It's hard now...but it will be worth it later. The people in your life who love you, will want to see you grow. You have to do this for yourself. In time people will adjust. It's right to cut the apron strings, or else you'll never know what you're made of. Discomfort is development in process. It passes...and in it's place stands something stronger. Something new.

 

[Tarragon]

That's where I'm heading Judge. I'm just fighting for survival until I can reach that point.

I will not lie - it is soul crushingly hard. Not just fighting for my sanity, but carrying the weight of knowledge that I am going to cause others pain in my actions. I do not hurt people, ever. But I know, not just for my sanity but for everyone's living in this house, that I have to leave. It is breaking my heart. I have never felt so low in my entire life yet been so determined to go against my heart.

I thought coming to terms with my Aspergers would be the hardest part. It seems grieving for my past world is harder

Am I right in thinking you've just got an official diagnosis? This has happened to me this month (I got mine on the 1st April of all days!!). I've had an amazingly intense month. So many things to think a bout and come to terms with. I too have had a sort of sense of loss over the wasted years. Half my life has gone without me knowing what I am. My need for other people has dropped even lower than it was before, so I am very much in my own head and content to be there.

It must be even harder living with people during what I hope is a phase we go through post diagnosis.

 

[donkey_kebab]

No official diagnosis yet. I only discovered I have it a couple of months ago so I have no support in readjusting my life. I have been officially recognised as needing urgent assessment though and am on the waiting list. They are trying to rush me through due to severity of condition (since realisation the symptoms seem to have become extremely overt - Or I just cannot face 'acting' NT anymore, not sure which).

It has been a hard battle due to a previous (mis)diagnosis of Borderline Personality Disorder. Once people see that on your record they can't see past it. You simply get labelled trouble maker or attention seeker. So not only have I been discovering and coming to terms with Aspergers, but I have been single handedly fighting the NHS to get a diagnosis overturned. They do not like admitting they are wrong I can assure you.

But having someone external to your life tell you 'yes, you're screaming out autism' was a relief that I wasn't going mad. I truly feel the diagnosis will simply be a rubber stamping exercise (figuratively speaking)

 

[Daniel]

I married her! I even told her that she was special to me because being with her was as good as being alone.

She is also the only person I have ever truly missed, and couldn't stand to not have around. Good thing she felt the same way!

Oooh... saw a notification about this post, and I want to update this one... We are now separated. I've just moved to a new city to be closer to my work.

I miss her, but I'm getting used to not having her around. Mixed bag of emotions right now, since as much as I wanted it to work out, in this case, our love for each other wasn't enough.

However--I must say that when I'm not feeling sad, I'm really enjoying being independent and living on my own for the first time in my adult life! I'm getting cozy with solitude.

 

[Andygriffith3351]

My sister she is at asu right now