Something I've been thinking about recently is how I always seem to get along famously with people that others try to exclude.
Often they will say "oh did you see how rude they were to you, they didn't even smile once or ask you to sit down..." This apparently went ZOOM!!! way over my head. I felt like I had a perfectly nice conversation with them and wonder why people have a problem with them.
Usually I end up interacting with them more than the "group". I find that I don't have to behave like a kids TV presenter to keep on the "group's" "good side". The "group" will usually start to have a problem, as they start to see me perhaps as a kind of "Trojan Horse" (or maybe that should be Trojan Goat??
) that enables this pariah to become included in the "group".
People become weird with me, angry even, perhaps it's because I allowed the pariah to join in on the reindeer games?
Then I become excluded. Which to be honest starts to become a relief, because I don't have to plaster on my "kids TV presenter" mask.
At my oft mentioned ex workplace, I was invited to the pretty expensive restaurant on site. I didn't really want to go. I asked (we'll call him David from now on) David if he was going, he seemed a bit reluctant, so I said "I might go." He replied in a way that I interpreted as "ok if you're going I will".
So I went to meet the "group", having put my best kids TV presenter performance on for the normies. One member of staff asked me if David was coming. I let them know he'd be joining us soon. She said "Oh well, I had better move as I don't want to be in a David Mildred sandwich."
So that was nice.
I was relieved when he arrived. We spent most of the time talking to eachother in the end. He didn't stay long and I left shortly after he had gone.
They all seemed to be so assured of their obvious superiority to us, and particularly to David. Not a moments doubt or self reflection or awareness. Just a dumb little mutual appreciation society.
I never seem to be bothered by these apparent social blunders people make. I don't even notice this apparently negative behaviour. Unless someone is being an overt bully or being aggressive I'm rarely "offended" by anyone.