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Featured Is eating alone in a restaurant now a big taboo?

Discussion in 'General Autism Discussion' started by Lundi, Dec 2, 2019 at 2:28 PM.

  1. Kalinychta

    Kalinychta Well-Known Member

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    Well, flee on your donkey, as the poetess Anne Sexton once wrote. Get out of that bizarre place.
     
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  2. GadAbout

    GadAbout Well-Known Member

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    This is an utterly ridiculous thing to be worried about. So what if you eat alone in a restaurant? So what if people notice you? SO WHAT?
     
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  3. Fino

    Fino Alex V.I.P Member

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    I've always thought of San Francisco as people keeping to themselves mostly, and that it's a liberal city. I can't imagine people caring about someone eating alone. It doesn't sound real to me.
     
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  4. Lundi

    Lundi Well-Known Member

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    People keep to themselves in the sense that they have their own cliques and niches. As in, if you are next to someone and their social circle, people will exclude you. But in public people might just approach you and/or talk to you out of the blue. Usually when people approach me in public it is not to say something positive.

    I am not sure exactly what you mean my liberal. I mean, yes drugs and sex are tolerated. Which is why talking about sex and asking someone sexual history is more or less tolerated here. But I am economically much more left-wing than most Americans, as well as most Europeans, and I get picked on a lot for these views.

    It is a city of extremes really, very rich and very poor, very introverted and very extroverted, those who do tech and computers all day and those who go hiking and partying.

    I could videotape myself in public and my experiences like those YouTube vloggers, but I am not going to do that because I am not sure that having strangers in one's videos is permitted.
     
    Last edited: Dec 2, 2019 at 11:21 PM
  5. Fino

    Fino Alex V.I.P Member

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    And it's possible to be picked on for your your views on economics?

    I'm with Kalinychta, this sounds like a twilight zone.

    And I've been there, but it was just for three days. Seemed normal to me in those three days. I have a good friend who lives there and he doesn't report many oddities either.
     
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  6. Lundi

    Lundi Well-Known Member

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    I have met some people who say that it is the Twilight Zone. That is because they have lived here for a few months or a few years and feel that way from their own experiences.

    I can only say that my parents want to move from this place as soon as possible. And that my friends/acquaintances that I did make from meetups have almost all left permanently.

    If you do not believe me, you do not have to believe me. I know what I experience.
     
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  7. SolarPoweredNightOwl

    SolarPoweredNightOwl Walking contradiction

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    I've spent a decent amount of time either working in restaurants or dining in them. I can assure you the restaurant doesn't care. If you're in a place that mainly hosts groups or couples, then coming in solo may attract a degree of curiosity. But in all honesty, if people are staring at you this much, this consistently? It's probably not because you're coming in alone.

    People notice differences. We don't always mask as well as we think.
     
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  8. NothingToSeeHere

    NothingToSeeHere Asexuowl V.I.P Member

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    All of your threads can basically be summed up as "San Fransisco is an awful city populated by teenagers in adult bodies, oh woe is me." There is a solution to this. Move somewhere nice.
     
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  9. Lundi

    Lundi Well-Known Member

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    Great. You want to pay for my living expenses to move?
     
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  10. NothingToSeeHere

    NothingToSeeHere Asexuowl V.I.P Member

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    You're an adult, take responsibility for your own wellbeing. If you do want to move, there are many resources online with advice on budgeting, how to move with no money, accounts of peoples own experiences. It can be done if you're smart about it.
     
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  11. Progster

    Progster Gone sideways to the sun V.I.P Member

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    I often see people eating alone in restaurants, and it's not a taboo. Once or twice I have done so myself, because I've been working and not had time to go home to eat, and the nearest place to get decent food is a restaurant.
    There's nothing wrong with eating alone in a restuarant, and it's not anyone else's business to stare or judge. You are doing nothing wrong, it's not illegal so there's not reason why you shouldn't do it.
     
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  12. Lundi

    Lundi Well-Known Member

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    Sounds like one of the "pick yourself up by your bootstraps" clichés. Dismissive comments and now you put the blame on me.

    Sometimes I wonder why I joined this forum in the first place.
     
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  13. Eclipse14

    Eclipse14 New Member

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    I eat by myself all the time in public. I like doing it, never had people judge me for it though. Not that I know of, anyway.
     
  14. Kalinychta

    Kalinychta Well-Known Member

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    This is a really good point. They may have been staring at him for an entirely different reason. It doesn’t make any sense for someone to feel shocked and scandalized at the sight of a man dining by himself, so there has to be another reason.
     
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  15. Lundi

    Lundi Well-Known Member

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    Why does my father get stared at when he goes out to eat alone as well? And my mother?

    Unless both my parents and I are all unbelievable weirdos and we somehow do not notice it?
     
  16. Jeremiah

    Jeremiah Chaotic Neutral

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    Some people just get bothered by other types of people merely existing.
     
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  17. Bronzelincolns

    Bronzelincolns Well-Known Member

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    it's as taboo as you decide it is..



    ...and stop staring at people.
     
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  18. disconnected

    disconnected Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    I go out alone ALOT! It’s awesome, especially to local breweries.
     
  19. Bolletje

    Bolletje Potato chip wizard V.I.P Member

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    I don’t mind eating at a restaurant by myself, although I miss pleasant dinner conversation when I do. I usually bring a book so I have something fun to keep me occupied while waiting for my food. This also signals to others that I’m not interested in company, as I’ve had men try and join me at my table in the past.
    I’ll be attending a few training days in another city in the coming month. I’m kind of looking forward to sleeping in a hotel room by myself and looking for a nice place to have dinner on my own.
     
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  20. WildCat

    WildCat and his scatterbrain V.I.P Member

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    Nothing personal, but the more I read your threads, the more I'm beginning to think that there's something else you're doing to attract this kind of attention to yourself whether or not you're aware of it. If you don't want to take responsibility for your own behavior (which I believe is the root cause of these complaints) and try something different, go right on ahead, but expect more of the same from everyone else.

    I have a hard time believing that the people of San Francisco are as you describe them either, but who knows. Never been there before, but even in a big city like that I'd imagine there are halfway decent people somewhere and people who really don't care what you are. Have you found any yet?
     
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