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Interesting video for those heterosexual males struggling to find a girlfriend. A woman's point of view.

I haven’t watched the video yet. Is she empathetic to men like me or thinks we are losers who need to become “Alpha Males” or stay single?
Empathetic. It’s useful. You don’t have to live by every word they say, but the perspectives are very interesting to consider.
 
I do have one gripe with the host, though: she says she needs a tall guy because she's six feet tall, almost like it's a given. I'm here like: excuse me, but I like women who are taller than me. Pfft, your loss.
It's good that there are exceptions in both sexes when it comes to what is generally preferred in attractiveness. Clearly then there are women who will date men that are shorter than they are. However, it's a fact that in general, women consider height (ie taller than they are and even more specifically, men who are 6 feet tall or more) to be a point of attractiveness. Incidentally, the percentage of men in the U.S. that are 6 feet tall or taller? Get ready for it..........14.5%. Wow.

Conversely, longstanding points of attractiveness men generally look for in a woman are youth (ie fertile) and purity. Another fact. Exceptions? Of course. In general though...a fact.
 
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I'm trying to force myself to watch this thing.

Have managed 3 minutes so far.

===
Five minutes.
And I'm wondering why I'm supposed to care what about what
this person has to say. She hasn't said anything yet that seems
outstanding, whoever she is.
 
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there are women who will date men that are shorter than they are
Well the host also said she changes her mind a lot and how attractive a guy is depends on the day. Try again tomorrow, I guess.

Anyone got a ladder I can borrow? Or a milk crate? I need to make up like seven inches. (Not that, perv.)


I'm trying to force myself to watch this thing.
If you've seen three minutes you've seen the whole thing.

I know mods gotta mod, but the video is rambling about the same things over and over.
 
Anyone got a ladder I can borrow? Or a milk crate?
I was never able to chat women up but was successful at letting them chat me up. For some reason it was mostly tall women that were attracted to me, I'm only 5'8". I've never had a girlfriend shorter than me.
 
Many years ago I had just moved down to Melbourne chasing work, and there was a night club at the end of the street I lived on. I went there one night but I tend to be a bit cautious in new social situations so I got a beer and sat quietly at one end of the bar and just watched people.

A very attractive young woman was playing the flirt, she’d talk to a man, get him to buy her a drink, then move on to another man. After about five other men she sleezed up to me and said “You look like you’d like to buy a pretty girl a drink.”. I said “I’ve been watching you all night, don’t you think it’s about your shout?”.

She stormed off in an indignant huff and the barman cracked up laughing and gave me a free beer. Afterwards I discovered she was a TV personality and news reader, married with two children.
 
I can't help but think (about the two women in this video) that what they are saying isn't as honest as they're portraying. I'm suspicious it feels good to say you like all types of guys, but if you lined up their old partners they'd all look very similar. Men want women more than women want men, so women will always be the gatekeepers.

I can recall only one smoking hot woman I knew marrying an obese guy, but that was only after she'd been treated like dirt by a slew of gorgeous guys. It didn't hurt that this big dude's family was rich - like his grandpa had a park named after him rich.

--


I've never had a girlfriend shorter than me.

I'll bet those old school Outback chicks are tough and go after whatever they want. Their pickup line is: I already wrestled one kangaroo today, you wanna be next?
 
I always liked a strong character. I told one one time that tall women are no fun in the shower because I have to keep jumping up and down all the time. She came back with "You've never had a hot shower in your life, the water must be cold again by the time it gets down there.". :)
 
If you have found out what makes a man attractive to a woman, you've found out something about that woman. Ain't no such thing as a universal rule. Anyone who says otherwise is power-tripping.

Bad boys, strong and silent, sensitive, and submissive types all appeal to someone. Opposites attract but so do complementary couples. Probably the best thing is to share a sense of humor and interests. Listening with comprehension is important. Being able to offer some security helps.

Married for 35 years to a woman who was almost the opposite of me in many ways. Being strong where the other person is weak works as long as it's reciprocated. Does lead to arguments until you can wear off the sharp corners and jagged edges.

Funny that even though reproduction is waning in importance, those traits that make you a good bet as a father and a provider still rule in many ways.
 
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I couldn't actually figure out what she thinks man or woman should do from that video

That can be the issue for trying to be the voice of 50% of the population; if I made a video trying to tell women viewers what men liked, I'm hoping you guys would be the first to tell me I'm just talking about what I like and that there's really no universal consensus on any of it.
 
I really found the video disappointing. The woman in the original video comes off as picky. The commentator also barely says anything and mostly just chuckles. Did I miss something?
 
With their pickiness (those two women, not all women), it's no wonder why so many guys are having trouble. I guess if you do one wrong thing, it's basically game over. Even the subtle things count.

Personally, I just go for the ones who aren't picky so I don't have to play that stupid game, because I'm not all that picky about superficial stuff either. True connection goes way beyond those things, at least for me.
Glad to see I am not the only one who thought they came off as picky. Even if you are just trying to get a date, saying or doing one wrong thing is a game ender. I got that crap on dating sites/apps so much that I rage quitted on them.
 
Some background about "JustPearlyThings".

She doesn't do dating advice as such, so you shouldn't expect guidance from her videos.

What she does is try to separate reality from fiction: show how some interactions between male and female humans actually work, rather than how people say they work or how they think it works.

This is a "triangle" that's troublesome for Aspies: the objective truth, subjective truth (what people (choose to) believe to be true), and what people say is true. In this particular domain that triangle is very large - the scale of the gap between facts and claims is startling.

I believe that she (Pearl Davis) is sincere, honest, and that her opinions are generally based on fact rather than fantasy or a delusional agenda. The presentation is generally lightweight, but it's YouTube (she has over 1 000 000 followers), TikTok etc. For these topics and audience, these mediums require a lightweight style, so she can't really be criticized for that.

But these are complicated times for people who prefer objective truth about human relations and relationships.
And JustPearlyThings covers topics that abound with people who do have agendas, and aren't inclined to base their opinions or utterances on facts.
Needless to say, she has haters as well as fans, and there are unbalanced people on both sides.

One comment on the content in the linked videos - just something to think about ...

Women rarely approach men IRL looking to start a conversion that might lead to some form of romantic contact.
When they do, it's usually one of the "lucky 10%", which includes very few male AS's in proportion to our numbers (now that Elon Musk isn't popular, perhaps nobody /lol).

This makes comments about rejection and related topics highly suspect.
The Hunter/Prey model is sexist. It survives because these interactions are not equal.

This is obvious, but the spirit the times requires that it's denied. Along with a lot of other objectively true things about human behavior, beliefs, and interactions.

Sadly, this is an "Aspie-unfriendly" phenomenon.
 
The video honestly just reinforces my anxiety and hopelessness. I have a stress induced headache now.
@Markness , I think part of the usefulness of the video is the discussion that it has caused among us on the forum. See how many people disagree with what they say. See what others here on this thread are saying about it. It doesn’t need to mean anything specific about your experience with women. It’s just thinking about and noting all the wildly different perspectives and approaches there are to the complex social interaction of dating.
 
Also keep in mind that this is a woman who has very publicly stated that she thinks overweight people and transgender people are disgusting. So yeah, she's picky.
 
Also keep in mind that this is a woman who has very publicly stated that she thinks overweight people and transgender people are disgusting. So yeah, she's picky.
Oh no… there’s always more to the story, and context is so important.
This is so disappointing to hear.
 

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