"I'm worried about you."

[Kirsty]

I'm cynical too. You worded this cynicaly beautifully... yeah trying too hard. I'm showing off now.

 

[HermanHesse]

"Who do you think you are?"
Code language having nothing to do with your identity.

"How are you?" "Fine."
Any more than that is unwanted. They really don't care.

I used to think that NTs were semi-literate because they used words and phrases illogically. If you ask what they mean they think you are mouthing off because "everyone" knows. So do you, really, NOT.

Forgive my rant.

That is so true. It's actually quite impressive how NTs talk. They say the wrong thing but everyone understands what they mean.

 

[Meg12]

"Why don't you smile? What's wrong?"

Oh yeah...used to hear it a lot.

yep People ask me "what's wrong" and that I "look mad"....... I've started to just say that it's my "natural glow"
People who know me well and ask "how are you?" know that's going to make me crazy..... I tell them "you know how I am..... what the heck do you think?!"

 

[fairy_girl]

I just raise my eyebrow and say you'll know when I'm not. They tend to stop asking that if you keep it up for awhile. I used to hate that when I was younger. You would think that they think I don't know what I'm feeling at all or they are usually just bored and they think that this is a way for them to talk to you.

 

[Mary Anne]

I ask people if they are ok. I DO care or else I would not have asked! Please do not assume that “all people don’t want to know.”

There are some of us that are part aspie, and are extremely nuanced to lack of expression, passive, or whatever....and will ask. Some people are too alone, or too shy to ask for help, and DO want to open up when someone approaches them. You would be surprised how some people immediately brighten up after being asked, and pour their heart out. The world in general usually find apparent disconnectedness, coldness, and inability to smile, or empathize as extremely uncomfortable and unnatural traits. So they are going to ask, and if they care about you in any way, they might actually be worried about you. This is normal for the non aspie world.

Instead of being frustrated or angry about it, you could tell them why without being “rude” yourself. Or work out some other means to be less disagreeable. The world does not revolve around you and cannot possibly read your thoughts. It’s bad enough that 90% of the world has no clue or awareness of autism traits within the spectrum. They are gonna ask about your perceived emotional state whether you like it or not. You can use it as a teaching moment to spread the education about Autism. Or make up some humorous line to counteract. Or say something else that is not confrontational. The last one is key, because if you do, then people get a real negative opinion of you, and stay away.

 

[Fridgemagnetman]

Or make up some humorous line to counteract.

You can't make me.

 

[Progster]

This is the phrase I heard once after an assessment at work

 

[WolfSpirit]

"Why don't you smile? What's wrong?"

Oh yeah...used to hear it a lot.

Or just "smile!" Grr....

 

[selena]

I haven't really experienced this at my current workplace. Mostly people either ignore me or are perfectly polite to me. I do want to note that I'm still surprised every time I learn that people have been talking about me behind my back. Although the ones I know of were always positive, it's probably safe to assume that people then must also talk about me behind my back (which is why I don't try to make friends with anyone at work anymore, because I don't know who to trust).

Being pitied is one of my biggest fears though, just a remnant of my middle school insecurities. I don't know why I haven't changed my position on this, but I'd still rather be disliked than be outright pitied.