I'm sorry for the things I say but I am just so lonely without a partner.

[Kalinychta]

Do you understand, Tony, that if you continue to do the same things over and over and over that you will also continue to be disappointed over and over and over? Does some part of your mind understand that? Is it maybe time for you to start listening to the guidance you’re getting on this forum, particularly the advice that makes you the most uncomfortable?

 

[Tony Ramirez]

What can I do that's different really what. Even going to yoga I get the same disappointment even though I try my best to go for the yoga. Really unless I never leave the house again which would also crack me up I am stuck.

Also volunteer and other work and things groups I looked it up there is nothing in my area.

 

[Kalinychta]

What can I do that's different really what. Even going to yoga I get the same disappointment even though I try my best to go for the yoga. Really unless I never leave the house again which would also crack me up I am stuck.

Also volunteer and other work and things groups I looked it up there is nothing in my area.

I encourage you to go back and reread basically every thread you’ve ever created on this forum—they are full of ideas and advice.

In a nutshell, my advice to you is: stop chasing after women who are so unlike you and are clearly extremely uncomfortable to even be physically near you. Your desperation, faux-niceness, and hostility when single women don’t queue up around the block to offer themselves to you is freaking people out. Someone made a recommendation that you find a center for intellectually and physically disabled people that holds regular social events. You’ll find people there who do have things in common with you and live the same type of lives and have the same problems. Stop running after the type of women who want nothing to do with you and never will.

 

[Tony Ramirez]

Someone made a recommendation that you find a center for intellectually and physically disabled people that holds regular social events. You’ll find people there who do have things in common with you and live the same type of lives and have the same problems.

Let me explain something to you. Years ago I did go to those places through work and training programs and I absolutely hated being around those type of people. I am still around them when I go to my therapist which is why I don't participate in any social events there. They smoke, swear, are rude and many stink don't bath. This was the exact reason why I decided to start to hang out with normal people and try to be around more attractive women. Really this is the truth. So no will not go back to that. So now you see I hate being around disabled people and normal people shun me so I am not welcomed anywhere.

 

[Misery]

If you could lay down your hurt anger and jealousy to realize
that in the eyes of God, everyone deserves love, and take it
to yourself to learn to be able to display loving kindness
toward others, regardless of marital status, that would be
a miraculous change of attitude.

This reminds me of a quote I heard online awhile back that I feel is relevant to all of this:

"Instead of focusing so much on FINDING the right person, focus instead on BECOMING the right person".

It's a simple quote, but I feel like there's great wisdom there.

 

[Kalinychta]

Let me explain something to you. Years ago I did go to those places through work and training programs and I absolutely hated being around those type of people. I am still around them when I go to my therapist which is why I don't participate in any social events there. They smoke, swear, are rude and many stink don't bath. This was the exact reason why I decided to start to hang out with normal people and try to be around more attractive women. Really this is the truth. So no will not go back to that. So now you see I hate being around disabled people and normal people shun me so I am not welcomed anywhere.

Really, so everyone at those places was like that? There wasn’t a single person there who didn’t smoke or bathe irregularly? As for the swearing, you’re going to be hard-pressed to find a single human being on the entire planet (aside from infants) who doesn’t swear.

Maybe you could go back to one of those centers and give it another try? Perhaps you could find a different one? The alternative is to continue griping about being rejected by women who absolutely 1,000% do not want to be romantically involved with you in any way, at all, period paragraph.

And you know, if you don’t like being around people like you, then why in the world would you expect the women at church and yoga to like you? Honestly I think you need to take your nose out of the air and focus your eyes on reality. You can continue to hold onto this defeatist attitude where every tiny little thing is an insurmountable obstacle, or you can make some hard changes that might actually result in you forming a loving, meaningful relationship with someone someday. Your choice.

 

[Misty Avich]

I was surprised at the disabled people smoking thing. Not saying disabled people don't smoke, but whenever I've mixed with disabled people Vs non-disabled/NT people I met more smokers from the latter group.

But anyway, you say you don't want to date someone else with a disability, maybe others with a disability have the same attitude. But then again, your disability is more invisible and I can tell from your posts that you're a high-functioning, non-noticeable autistic person...person with autism. So I guess they wouldn't know you have autism.

 

[Masked Man]

Let me explain something to you. Years ago I did go to those places through work and training programs and I absolutely hated being around those type of people. I am still around them when I go to my therapist which is why I don't participate in any social events there. They smoke, swear, are rude and many stink don't bath.

I'm going to say this as gently as I can - but the way you describe these other people - this is the way you have acted in the past towards others when you are unhappy. You have been rude and you have sworn - you do this when you have been stressed out at having encountered couples. I know you have because you have posted about it. So you are unfairly judging a group of people for behaving the exact way YOU behave.

I suspect that you want a "normal" (for lack of a better word) partner as a reflection of you. You desperately want to be included in with a certain group of people. So you have focused your search on that group of women - who, in fact, you have nothing at all in common with.

In other words, what you're looking for is not so much a relationship - what you're actually seeking is social acceptance.

 

[1ForAll]

My questions to any single person who wants to date or to be in a relationship, that you may at least want to ask to yourself are:

(1) What do you offer the prospective other? What makes you more special than other single persons who may be talking to these same persons?

(2) What specific type of person are you attracted to and searching for, and why? Is that reasonable based on who you are and/or your current situation?

(3) What are your limitations that could currently repel others from giving you the chance?

(4) What steps have you taken, if any, to be more approachable or to get others more interested as more than a stranger or acquaintance?

(5) Why do you want a partner?

(6) How will you handle much stress and adversity in a relationship?

If you cannot answer these accurately and in detail in your head at least, or if one or more of your answers seems unreasonable or not compatible with the type(s) of person you are looking for, then that is where part of your difficulties could be.

Maybe these people who do not want to take the time to figure those things out are not ready for a relationship or do not see those basic questions as important. Well, then the prospective others may think then you are not taking your relationship attempts seriously from not having either enough desire to put the needed efforts into your searches, to target the right persons or to put your best foot forward.

I just think if one's priority is a relationship, those details should matter to them, and the others they meet who probably already have their own answers there, and most our efforts thus should be there instead of complaining about others which will not solve anything.

Being simple minded, making excuses, not finding fault mostly with ourselves, acting superior to others, being too pushy or avoidant or jumping over steps rarely works for finding a partner.

 

[Tony Ramirez]

Since this was moved to the religious forum I can talk about God thanks tree. I am really hating God. I really thought these past few weeks he was blessing me with great people but it was all a lie. To tell the truth God was not blessing me. He was bringing more women in relationships in my life I did not need. I did not touch none of them or anyone. There boyfriends and husbands touched them. I really figured this out on Saturday after I got sick when the woman I was talking to showed a picture of her boyfriend on her phone. The on Thursday church that young couple again playing kissing face with other couples there. Also me getting really sick is not a treat either. I hate God now and I said it right at him multiple times the past two days.

 

[tree]

You are hating your idea of what God is.

You are so unhappy with the story that you tell yourself
about what you think God is doing in your life.

 

[Tony Ramirez]

God been blessing almost everyone at my church with relationships, marragies, new babies. I cry out to him and he brings me pain and mysery.

 

[Kalinychta]

God been blessing almost everyone at my church with relationships, marragies, new babies. I cry out to him and he brings me pain and mysery.

Could it be, perhaps, that your god isn’t going to drop women into your lap like free candy at a parade?

 

[Mikah]

The highest state attainable in these matters is one of voluntary, considered celibacy. Churches are not supposed to be dating services for the Godly, they are there to help you find salvation.

 

[Aspychata]

Could it be, perhaps, that your god isn’t going to drop women into your lap like free candy at a parade?

Maybe better chance in New Orleans , the
Mardi Gras parade on Bourbon street.

 

[Tony Ramirez]

Maybe better chance in New Orleans , the
Mardi Gras parade on Bourbon street.

All I know is New York City sucks especially north western Brooklyn (Carroll Gardens, Cobble Hill, Gowanus, Brooklyn Heights, Dumbo, Red Hook, Park Slope basically all the places I been) for finding single woman but I am stuck here.