Im scared of my

[PollyAne]

I was dumped six months ago by my toxic boyfriend because I had the nerve to say that something didn't suit me. Of course, he wanted to destroy my reputation and make me the bad guy. However, I survived. A week ago, friend who worked with him on a paid project told me that my ex refused to do his part, which made them unable to account with the client. I wrote to him that it was typical for my ex that he don't care about other people and that I feel sory for them. Friend wrote back only "Yeah" which was strange since he was looking for a common front with me against my ex. This week, however, I discovered that my ex had removed me from his friends. I do not know what to do. Does that mean that this friend and my ex conspire against me? This friend sent me a screenshot of him chatting with two other friends about my ex leaving project when he wrote to me. Does that mean they also conspire with them? I will add that I attend university with them.

 

[Booknerd515]

All that seems like it really sucks. Since your boyfriend was toxic, I wouldn't feel bad about him removing you from his friends list at all because I avoid toxic people as much as I possibly can due to past experiences with them. You will most likely miss them for a bit, but that will pass. I've encountered people in the past in real life who have broken up with girlfriends that they attend the same school with and they would never do that. I wouldn't worry about still being able to communicate with him since he sounds like a really bad person (possibly having psychopathic tendencies due to an inability of feeling empathy). Since he acted that meanly towards you in the past, that's clear emotional abuse and I would never trust someone like that again. I'm not entirely sure about the conspiring part, but it's possible. Caring about other people is natural and most I've met have that feeling-keep doing that even if someone may have told you otherwise in the past. You stood up to him before, you can again if anything worse happens.

 

[SDRSpark]

If he was as bad as you say then a) he shouldn't have still been on your friend list anyway, so that doesn't matter...see it as the trash taking itself out and b) be wary of any connections of his. Just move in a completely different direction, there are many many fish in the sea, as the saying goes. Avoid those particular fish all together.

 

[Suzette]

I agree with the others, unfriend your ex and ignore him.

A week ago, friend who worked with him on a paid project told me that my ex refused to do his part, which made them unable to account with the client. I wrote to him that it was typical for my ex that he don't care about other people and that I feel sory for them. Friend wrote back only "Yeah" which was strange since he was looking for a common front with me against my ex

It sounds like this friend was just happy with you being in agreement with them about your ex.

As for others conspiring against you, probably not. Smear campaigns take work and most people just don't want to work for little gain. If they simply have chosen to believe your ex over you, they aren't really your friends, just some people that you know. If your ex is as nasty as you say, they will figure it out soon enough and you will have your vindication.

 

[QuestJan]

I was dumped six months ago by my toxic boyfriend

You dodged a bullet. Don't extend the pain by staying in the line of fire of all that break up drama. That's on you if you don't walk away.

Meditate to get clarity on the lessons learned, have a big pity party to cleanse your soul then celebrate..

NOTE: We are like magnets to sociopaths/narcicists/bullies. We may try to barricade our tender naivety, but they know how to spot it. A wise autistic stays aware of this. I married TWO of them and gained this wisdom the hard way

 

[Primrose]

I honestly don't think they are conspiring. That sounds unlikely. Try your best to move on and put your toxic ex behind you.

 

[Aspychata]

You dodged a bullet. Don't extend the pain by staying in the line of fire of all that break up drama. That's on you if you don't walk away.

Meditate to get clarity on the lessons learned, have a big pity party to cleanse your soul then celebrate..

NOTE: We are like magnets to sociopaths/narcicists/bullies. We may try to barricade our tender naivety, but they know how to spot it. A wise autistic stays aware of this. I married TWO of them and gained this wisdom the hard way

Sorry to hear this. Sometimes l feel this is true. Like l need to be tough and mean. And mask the real me. But that is another post.

 

[Nitro]

 

[QuestJan]

Sorry to hear this. Sometimes l feel this is true. Like l need to be tough and mean. And mask the real me. But that is another post.

Not mean.

Not to promote religion (I hate religion), but to share words that helped me is the way Jesus put it. We are to be innocent as doves and shrewd as snakes yet love those who are unkind to us (the Hebrew word translated as 'shrewd' is etymologically derived from "watchful").

I perceive that autistics (in general, not specifically) can be too innocent which makes us a magnet for sociopaths/narcissists/bullies, etc. I think we can be more susceptible to gaslighting than the average bear. We need to be watchful.

I do try to mask the real me at work and other "normie" contexts. But it is our journey to rock autism and I love being me. I hope you never stop being you and loving yourself for it.

 

[Aspychata]

Not mean.

Not to promote religion (I hate religion), but to share words that helped me is the way Jesus put it. We are to be innocent as doves and shrewd as snakes yet love those who are unkind to us (the Hebrew word translated as 'shrewd' is etymologically derived from "watchful").

I perceive that autistics (in general, not specifically) can be too innocent which makes us a magnet for sociopaths/narcissists/bullies, etc. I think we can be more susceptible to gaslighting than the average bear. We need to be watchful.

I do try to mask the real me at work and other "normie" contexts. But it is our journey to rock autism and I love being me. I hope you never stop being you and loving yourself for it.

Shrewd is a interesting word. To me it means being smarter then the other person at the given moment. Not in the sense to take advantage but more to not be taken advantage of.

 

[Gracey]

I wonder if it all comes down to whether or not you're okay with you.

If you are, no amount of conspiring will put you off your stride.

You can't control anothers behaviour, action or opinion but you can choose how you let it affect you.

 

[rach3rd]

I don't think they are conspiring against you. Since you attend university with them, it might prove difficult to avoid him altogether, but you might find some practical ways to distance yourself from him and his friends. I'm so sorry that happened to you.