If you can speak, do you ever wish you couldn't?

[Naturalist]

Ever since I was a child, I have wished I was unable to speak. I love language and have a very high verbal reasoning ability but I don't like to talk. I dislike the sound of my voice, for one thing, and it takes me a long time to figure out how to say what I want to say, and even then it usually doesn't come out right. But I often talk compulsively; I feel that if anyone else is around, I MUST speak, even when I don't want to, because my parents and teachers always insisted so much on me speaking up and participating. Since others know that I am able to talk, they have expected me to talk and interact with them even when I really don't feel comfortable doing so. If I say that I don't feel like talking, people disregard my statement, and insist that I "just answer one question," or they think I'm giving them permission to talk at me incessantly. I also find that most people around me just argue with whatever I say, or tell me I'm being "ridiculous" or "stupid". It takes so much effort to interact verbally, sometimes I wish I could somehow lose the ability to speak so that people would give up and leave me alone. Then I could concentrate on my own thoughts and have an excuse to spend more time writing.

Has anyone else wished they could legitimately lose the ability to speak? Have you found other ways to reduce others' demands for verbal interaction?

I was considering making a T-shirt I could wear that says "Don't talk to me today" but I have a feeling I would never stop wearing it

 

[Amy Bellows]

I don't know if I'd go as far as wishing I couldn't speak, but definitely wish that I didn't HAVE to at times... Verbal interaction is very draining at times - not all the time, but definitely more often than not. I feel like I sometimes struggle to make myself understood, even with the simplest of interactions.

 

[King_Oni]

Not being able to speak would mean I would have to put up with a lot more crap than I already do since I can't tell people to f*ck off.

 

[Warmheart]

Speech does not feel natural for me. It feels clumsy, false, "not the real me." It kind of feels like I'm trying to wear someone else's pants. Attempting to speak when stressed has always been the final trigger for meltdowns.

Speech feels like an elaborate thing I must do for others to be happy with me. Sometimes, it is simply too much to ask of myself. It has never felt natural.

I can be articulate and play with words, when calm and in the mood. Words are like Lego blocks, fun sometimes. I perceive patterns in language and enjoy noticing that.

Because my thoughts are not in narrative form but rather in sensory (images, sounds, motions, energy), it feels a taxing, stressful, clumsy extra step to translate from the sensory to the narrative, in order to speak.

I am most comfortable with friends who expect my warm and happy companionship rather than conversation.

 

[Southern Discomfort]

Well I couldn't speak for the first four years of my life, I remember the frustration of just asking for the simplest of things was difficult, I was taught some sign language at that point to help ask for things like drinks. I get what you mean; I have a level of immaturity about me and I tend to yak on about dumb things, but do I ever wish not to speak? Well occasionally, but speech is a blessing for me so that thought doesn't last long.

 

[pax]

Ever since I was a child, I have wished I was unable to speak. I love language and have a very high verbal reasoning ability but I don't like to talk. I dislike the sound of my voice, for one thing, and it takes me a long time to figure out how to say what I want to say, and even then it usually doesn't come out right. But I often talk compulsively; I feel that if anyone else is around, I MUST speak, even when I don't want to, because my parents and teachers always insisted so much on me speaking up and participating. Since others know that I am able to talk, they have expected me to talk and interact with them even when I really don't feel comfortable doing so. If I say that I don't feel like talking, people disregard my statement, and insist that I "just answer one question," or they think I'm giving them permission to talk at me incessantly. I also find that most people around me just argue with whatever I say, or tell me I'm being "ridiculous" or "stupid". It takes so much effort to interact verbally, sometimes I wish I could somehow lose the ability to speak so that people would give up and leave me alone. Then I could concentrate on my own thoughts and have an excuse to spend more time writing.

Has anyone else wished they could legitimately lose the ability to speak? Have you found other ways to reduce others' demands for verbal interaction?

I was considering making a T-shirt I could wear that says "Don't talk to me today" but I have a feeling I would never stop wearing it

I've often thought of buying this: but it would just totally out myself. . Hey who am I kidding nobody thinks I'm "normal" or average""

 

[Progster]

I don't have the desire not to be able to speak, but I hate forced or sudden social interaction. If I speak, I want it to be on my terms and I need to be expecting it. For my job, I have to speak a lot, and it is very tiring. I wish I could have a job where I don't need to speak much.

There is a common stereotype that Aspies talk nonstop about their special interests, or generally talk too much, but I'm not like this at all. I do my special interests, I don't talk about them. I don't speak much and I'm introverted. I just don't have this impulse or need to speak all the time when I'm with other people.

 

[Naturalist]

Speech does not feel natural for me. It feels clumsy, false, "not the real me." It kind of feels like I'm trying to wear someone else's pants. Attempting to speak when stressed has always been the final trigger for meltdowns.

Speech feels like an elaborate thing I must do for others to be happy with me. Sometimes, it is simply too much to ask of myself. It has never felt natural.

I can be articulate and play with words, when calm and in the mood. Words are like Lego blocks, fun sometimes. I perceive patterns in language and enjoy noticing that.

Because my thoughts are not in narrative form but rather in sensory (images, sounds, motions, energy), it feels a taxing, stressful, clumsy extra step to translate from the sensory to the narrative, in order to speak.

I am most comfortable with friends who expect my warm and happy companionship rather than conversation.

Warmheart, You have described these feelings so perfectly!

I also have a sensory thought process, and when I am writing, words fit that process because I can take my time and choose the words that have the right sound or texture or associated imagery. But in conversation, I don't have the ability to sink into my mind and choose my words that way, because others don't have the patience for it. So often the things I say sound very clumsy or irritating to me, even if they don't sound that way to others.

Mostly, I despise the fact that people in my family and work are always demanding that I interact, without giving me time to think and process what I observe and feel. I would have more self-esteem if I had a degree of space, both physical and mental.

 

[Naturalist]

I've often thought of buying this: but it would just totally out myself. . Hey who am I kidding nobody thinks I'm "normal" or average""

I like that these shirts exist for sale, because it's probably an indication that we aren't as unusual as we feel sometimes... But I suspect if I owned it, it would become a fixture on my person, and that would definitely be problematic.

 

[AsperDragon]

Ever since I was a child, I have wished I was unable to speak. I love language and have a very high verbal reasoning ability but I don't like to talk. I dislike the sound of my voice, for one thing, and it takes me a long time to figure out how to say what I want to say, and even then it usually doesn't come out right. But I often talk compulsively; I feel that if anyone else is around, I MUST speak, even when I don't want to, because my parents and teachers always insisted so much on me speaking up and participating. Since others know that I am able to talk, they have expected me to talk and interact with them even when I really don't feel comfortable doing so. If I say that I don't feel like talking, people disregard my statement, and insist that I "just answer one question," or they think I'm giving them permission to talk at me incessantly. I also find that most people around me just argue with whatever I say, or tell me I'm being "ridiculous" or "stupid". It takes so much effort to interact verbally, sometimes I wish I could somehow lose the ability to speak so that people would give up and leave me alone. Then I could concentrate on my own thoughts and have an excuse to spend more time writing.

Has anyone else wished they could legitimately lose the ability to speak? Have you found other ways to reduce others' demands for verbal interaction?

I was considering making a T-shirt I could wear that says "Don't talk to me today" but I have a feeling I would never stop wearing it

Omg....this describes me to a tee.....i have always wanted to take a vow of silence. ....i also have to work hard to not answer questions i hear even when it's strangers. ...i am so glad to know that this aspect of my personality is shared by another. ... it's good to know you aren't alone.

 

[ancusmitis]

I took a couple vows of silence in the past. Spent a weekend not talking once. A lot of things became much clearer. So the following year I gave up talking completely for lent. Definitely worth it. Unfortunately, no one supported me on it and I made it through just on sheer cussedness. Now that I am an atheist, I likely would not be able to get away with it at all, since I can't pretend there is any spiritual basis for it.

 

[Suzanne]

Oh my, I thought I was the only one that had this issue. But, despite being treated the same way, I have to admit, that no, have never wished I was dumb. Have said, in frustration: I might as well be dumb, for all I am taken notice of and like you, cannot stand my voice, but not to the extent that I don't want to talk, accept when there are people around me, that I feel uncomfortable with or strangers and then, too frightened to speak.

I am either as though dumb or the opposite. Because I know how passionate I can be, when a subject that excites me, gets me and I can talk. I usually get: calm down Suzanne or my husband will say that he might as well be in another room, with how my voice is raised.

Not worked out yet if I am just extremely paranoid or people are just damn rude.

My problem is getting angry and hate that.

 

[Beverly]

I would never wish to become a mute but, you know, I actually like getting laryngitis right at Awards time. I've got a valid reason not to answer questions or give speeches for two or three days. I've got to rest my voice entirely so I will recover in time to return to the studio next week.

Sometime speaking can be tedious and annoying, especially if you have to talk about things or people you care nothing about and/or answer endless stupid questions that have no bearing on anything important but, that's life. I'd never wish to be mute forever but, mute for a day or two, when it suits me, that can be a good thing.

 

[Naturalist]

I took a couple vows of silence in the past. Spent a weekend not talking once. A lot of things became much clearer. So the following year I gave up talking completely for lent. Definitely worth it. Unfortunately, no one supported me on it and I made it through just on sheer cussedness. Now that I am an atheist, I likely would not be able to get away with it at all, since I can't pretend there is any spiritual basis for it.

That is quite a good idea. Although I would argue, that atheism does not rule out spiritual endeavors. I know many atheists who are deeply spiritual, but their spirituality is not rooted in religious belief or the acknowledgment of any given deity. Perhaps you could still claim a spiritual need for an occasional extended vow of silence?

Also, I found that most people give up stupid things for Lent. If they couldn't support you giving up something like speaking, which is a more significant sacrifice, then they don't have any depth to their own spirituality anyway. Just sayin'...

 

[Mr. Cat]

Yes. I'm not the type who talks and doesn't know when to stop. I just don't talk because people always called me annoying when I talked as a child. I could go a week without saying anything, even from a young age. There were many times where I actually forgot how to talk. I'd open my mouth to speak and my vocal cords would not work. I'm not sure if that's selective mutism or not, but I'm not sure what caused it.

 

[Cerulean]

Yes frequently.

 

[Butterfly88]

I have a feeling if you didn't speak you'd have an equal number of people trying to get you to speak. I like that I speak, it means I can advocate for myself.

 

[artfull dodger]

I will talk non stop if you get me going on one of my special interests, other wise I am pretty quiet. I do become mute when I am shutdown, being unable to speak until I come out of the shutdown.

 

[morrigan]

I have never wished I were mute, but I have developed all kinds of strategies for limiting how much other people talk to me, and require my response. Like others, I tend to "get into it" when I am on a topic of specific interest... and at these times all my filters shut down. I start waving my hands a lot, modulating my voice far more than normal, and generally "forgetting myself." I have to work *really* hard not to be socially inappropriate at such times.

In fact, now that I think of it, that contributes pretty significantly to my desire to limit interactions. I don't trust myself, and am afraid that, if drawn out, I'll make a terrible error.

But wow, do I hate chitchat.

 

[Zjezdzaj]

I have Selective Mutism so I have episodes were I can't speak, even if I try to force the words out nothing will come. It can be extremely frustrating when I need to say something but can't. Work, meetings, doctors' appointments, therapists and such become complicated. I can go days, weeks, months without speaking to another person. However, I do enjoy talking to myself.
As a child and teen I rarely spoke unless it was necessary. I never saw the point of speaking. I would communicate using hand signals like pointing or maybe say "water" if I was thirsty. I guess you could say I can speak but choose not to.

I don't really enjoy talking, it makes me feel uncomfortable but I wouldn't want to be mute because I know how troublesome that can be....