I will need help soon :-)

[PurplePasta]

Hello everyone

I come as a double act as I myself have Asperger's and my daughter is self diagnosed as high functioning. I have to self diagnose because I struggled so much getting a diagnosis for her. Recent psychologists have said "she meets most of the criteria but not all of it" because of something her non co-operating father said to the psychologist. Now I have a soon to be 13 year old who self harms and pretends to be a dog to calm down. *sigh*

It will be good to talk to people about our struggles, our drama's and life living together as a single mum with 2 children.

PP x

 

[tree]

 

[Isadoorian]

Welcome to the Forums! I hope you make new friends and enjoy your stay in the process!

 

[Sarah S]

First warm wellcome

Second ask for another evaluation and new psychologist

too me it seems she might having other diagnosis then just Asberger = ASD 1

Probaly Anxiety (hence the self harming )

& the acting like a dog too calm down i would think its her way of escaping.( as we all know a dogs only wish in life is to serve and be led and told what to do. this will give her some piece in that she is no longer required to take decisions or responsibilities.)

This is only my own thoughts on this and is in NO way a profetional statement. Its based on my own diagnosis + those i have talked too & helped earlier with similar problems.

and she most defenetly NEED profetional help NOW !

 

[Nitro]

Hi PurplePasta

 

[Alexej]

Welcome to the Forums.

 

[PurplePasta]

yes she has been diagnosed with GAD and she worries over so many things. She started self harming when she was 8 - this hit a high when she was 10 but has calmed down a lot since. She loves dogs, knows everything about them and so badly wants one. Her way of getting attention off me is to become a dog (or hamster - she pretends to be our hamster too).

today I have called the schools and asked for the school nurse to help with CAMHS … again

 

[GadAbout]

yes she has been diagnosed with GAD and she worries over so many things. She started self harming when she was 8 - this hit a high when she was 10 but has calmed down a lot since. She loves dogs, knows everything about them and so badly wants one. Her way of getting attention off me is to become a dog (or hamster - she pretends to be our hamster too).

today I have called the schools and asked for the school nurse to help with CAMHS … again

I almost could have written your introductory post myself, except when my daughter (who is diagnosed) was a teen, neither of us were diagnosed yet.

Teenage years for most with ASD, or any other mental health issue, can be HELL - so many new challenges for both parent and teenager, plus additional hormones in the kid's body making things confusing. Hang in there!

Yes, get some mental health help for your daughter, but get some for yourself, too. It will help you deal with things more successfully.

If you don't mind - I was wondering what it was your co-parent said during the assessment?

 

[Sarah S]

yes she has been diagnosed with GAD and she worries over so many things. She started self harming when she was 8 - this hit a high when she was 10 but has calmed down a lot since. She loves dogs, knows everything about them and so badly wants one.

Her way of getting attention off me is to become a dog (or hamster - she pretends to be our hamster too).

today I have called the schools and asked for the school nurse to help with CAMHS … again

That would defenetly explain and support my statement of possible Anxiety

Only you know youre daughter of course BUT i would still say its more to do with her "safe place" (were she can feel safe and calm and relaxed ) then drawing youre attention

Havent a clue what that is but its good that you have allerted the School nurse on this so that she then if needed can take this to the higher level.

 

[PurplePasta]

[QUOTE=" If you don't mind - I was wondering what it was your co-parent said during the assessment?[/QUOTE]

Of course. He has battled in opinions since the day I said I needed help with her self harming and anger. I arranged at age 10 for an assessment but he always said "she doesn't do any of that with me". He made a phone call as didn't attend the appointments and told the psychologists she did as she was told for him and it was my parenting that needed questioning. Because of this statement the psychologist said "there are features that show she is consistent with a diagnosis of Autism but these are not present all of the time".

I was so upset and livid. He rarely seems the children, they don't like seeing him but in a way are scared and wont speak up. He left when my daughter was 3 and my youngest was 6m old. He doesn't live with the anxiety or the hormones, he doesn't know what its like and just bats it off like its not there.

 

[Wolfnox]

Hiya.

 

[clg114]

Welcome to Autism Forums!

 

[Sarah S]

[QUOTE=" If you don't mind - I was wondering what it was your co-parent said during the assessment?

Of course. He has battled in opinions since the day I said I needed help with her self harming and anger. I arranged at age 10 for an assessment but he always said "she doesn't do any of that with me". He made a phone call as didn't attend the appointments and told the psychologists she did as she was told for him and it was my parenting that needed questioning. Because of this statement the psychologist said "there are features that show she is consistent with a diagnosis of Autism but these are not present all of the time".

" Thats just plain BS from his side you know it and so should the so called psychologist understand . not to mention dont make conclosion based on a phone call.

Its true that in DSM5 they have upped the requirement for a diagnose so it might also be that she infact dont come up on said requirement. This said whether the "tics are visable 24/ 7 or not does NOT have a bearing in getting a diagnose. + that she dont show said bevior with him may just be she dont trust youre dad enough to show her true feelings (ie masks her behavior something us girls are VERY good at & sadly makes it more common that we get our diagnose later in life )"
I was so upset and livid. He rarely seems the children, they don't like seeing him but in a way are scared and wont speak up.

" Well then there you have the anwer same as i suggested "

He left when my daughter was 3 and my youngest was 6m old. He doesn't live with the anxiety or the hormones, he doesn't know what its like and just bats it off like its not there.

" This is what you need to project to said psychologist as well as to him "

 

[Streetwise]

[QUOTE=" If you don't mind - I was wondering what it was your co-parent said during the assessment?

Of course. He has battled in opinions since the day I said I needed help with her self harming and anger. I arranged at age 10 for an assessment but he always said "she doesn't do any of that with me". He made a phone call as didn't attend the appointments and told the psychologists she did as she was told for him and it was my parenting that needed questioning. Because of this statement the psychologist said "there are features that show she is consistent with a diagnosis of Autism but these are not present all of the time".

I was so upset and livid. He rarely seems the children, they don't like seeing him but in a way are scared and wont speak up. He left when my daughter was 3 and my youngest was 6m old. He doesn't live with the anxiety or the hormones, he doesn't know what its like and just bats it off like its not there.[/QUOTE]
Tell her if she wants to calm! herself when she's assessed to do it freely! in autism it's called self stimulating or stimming !therapists are a bit !stupid !need a big sign! took them 45 years to perceive I was an autistic female NHS can be longer waiting lists

 

[Sarah S]

They dident find my ASD until was 38

 

[Pats]

[QUOTE=" If you don't mind - I was wondering what it was your co-parent said during the assessment?

Of course. He has battled in opinions since the day I said I needed help with her self harming and anger. I arranged at age 10 for an assessment but he always said "she doesn't do any of that with me". He made a phone call as didn't attend the appointments and told the psychologists she did as she was told for him and it was my parenting that needed questioning. Because of this statement the psychologist said "there are features that show she is consistent with a diagnosis of Autism but these are not present all of the time".

I was so upset and livid. He rarely seems the children, they don't like seeing him but in a way are scared and wont speak up. He left when my daughter was 3 and my youngest was 6m old. He doesn't live with the anxiety or the hormones, he doesn't know what its like and just bats it off like its not there.[/QUOTE]
See, to me that's so typical with autism. They are more themselves where they feel safe and most comfortable.
Hello, Purplepasta and welcome.

 

[GadAbout]

Of course. He has battled in opinions since the day I said I needed help with her self harming and anger. I arranged at age 10 for an assessment but he always said "she doesn't do any of that with me". He made a phone call as didn't attend the appointments and told the psychologists she did as she was told for him and it was my parenting that needed questioning. Because of this statement the psychologist said "there are features that show she is consistent with a diagnosis of Autism but these are not present all of the time".

I was so upset and livid. He rarely seems the children, they don't like seeing him but in a way are scared and wont speak up. He left when my daughter was 3 and my youngest was 6m old. He doesn't live with the anxiety or the hormones, he doesn't know what its like and just bats it off like its not there.

Figure out how many hours of direct contact he has with the children a month (maybe six? actually write down the hours of contact a month over three months) and do the same with yourself. Then present this the next time anyone assesses your daughter. Feel free to mention that you think the father doesn't really have a very informed opinion on symptoms - not in a confrontational way, but it's okay to say you and he disagree on what is going on.