I want to escape from myself

[Aspychata]

Or you are just going thru an icky stage waiting for or anticipating some type of change. l remember you talked about moving away. Did you decide not too??

 

[Metalhead]

Or you are just going thru an icky stage waiting for or anticipating some type of change. l remember you talked about moving away. Did you decide not too??

I still am moving, only to another city in the same state that is relatively far from the family. I plan on moving in less than two months from now.

 

[Fino]

The bible is lame.

It's worse than lame! To a non-Christian, it's incomprehensible! I remember feeling the same way you do, and very strongly. By the grace of God, I'm no longer so foolish.

 

[Metalhead]

It's worse than lame! To a non-Christian, it's incomprehensible! I remember feeling the same way you do, and very strongly. By the grace of God, I'm no longer so foolish.

Reading the Bible certainly does seem to be a better use of my time than getting wasted off beer every single weekend, anyway.

 

[BrokenBoy]

It's worse than lame! To a non-Christian, it's incomprehensible! I remember feeling the same way you do, and very strongly. By the grace of God, I'm no longer so foolish.

I remember in another thread you said you had a ex boyfriend. I sure your "god" would consider you sinful for that.

 

[BrokenBoy]

Reading the Bible certainly does seem to be a better use of my time than getting wasted off beer every single weekend, anyway.

Read something cool instead.

Here's some recommendations:

• Trainspotting by Irvine Welsh
• Glamorama by Bret Easton Ellis
• The Illuminatus! Trilogy by Robert Anton Wilson and Robert Shea

 

[Metalhead]

I have come to the conclusion that I am extremely skilled when it comes to replacing one addiction with a completely different one. That is my talent in life. Now, if only I could become addicted to physical and mental fitness, and spiritual wellness, that would be great. Alas, my addictions all rely upon immediate gratification.

 

[BrokenBoy]

I have come to the conclusion that I am extremely skilled when it comes to replacing one addiction with a completely different one. That is my talent in life.

That's sad. There's nothing else for me to say.

 

[Misery]

Reading the Bible certainly does seem to be a better use of my time than getting wasted off beer every single weekend, anyway.

I dont normally talk about stuff like this, but there is one thing I wanted to add to this aspect:

If you want to go the spiritual/religious route, that's totally fine. But understand that you dont NEED to read the Bible in order to do this.

Something I learned from observing various religious figures in my life (particularly my grandfather, who was a priest) is that something like this isnt about following some strict doctrine to the absolute letter and forcing yourself to read some stuffy book. Nothing WRONG with that, but in reality it's really about your actions. What you do for others and how you act in the world, and the strength of your faith.

I'm not going to claim to understand this sort of thing too well... but that has always been my takeaway, from watching those who are far wiser than I am.

....Besides, while I have nothing against the Bible, it really IS rather incomprehensible. It's hard to learn lessons from something when the text doesnt really make any sense.

I have come to the conclusion that I am extremely skilled when it comes to replacing one addiction with a completely different one. That is my talent in life. Now, if only I could become addicted to physical and mental fitness, and spiritual wellness, that would be great. Alas, my addictions all rely upon immediate gratification.

Well, this IS the nature of the condition.

I'll give the same advice I always give here: there's nothing wrong with having obsessive interests (so long as those interests are not harmful). Whether it's video games or carpentry, whatever.

But the important thing is not to focus too hard on just one thing. As I learned the hard way, this leaves you stuck in a bit of a rut.

Variety is what is important. Dont worry about trying to DROP an interest... instead, try to ADD a new one. So you've got more than one thing to choose from in terms of activities, not JUST doing the same one thing over and over. I cant tell you just how much this helped me.

 

[Metalhead]

Well, this IS the nature of the condition.

I'll give the same advice I always give here: there's nothing wrong with having obsessive interests (so long as those interests are not harmful). Whether it's video games or carpentry, whatever.

But the important thing is not to focus too hard on just one thing. As I learned the hard way, this leaves you stuck in a bit of a rut.

Variety is what is important. Dont worry about trying to DROP an interest... instead, try to ADD a new one. So you've got more than one thing to choose from in terms of activities, not JUST doing the same one thing over and over. I cant tell you just how much this helped me.

I also should probably add interests that have an emphasis on delayed gratification. I have very poor self discipline in my life, and I am aware of how utterly disgusting that actually is.

 

[BrokenBoy]

I also should probably add interests that have an emphasis on delayed gratification. I have very poor self discipline in my life, and I am aware of how utterly disgusting that actually is.

Have you ever smoked pot or popped a xanax? That might help you chill out.

 

[Markness]

The closest thing I’ve taken to pot is CBD oil from a vendor at a wellness event. It made me feel so mellowed out I fell asleep in my chair at a talk about the afterlife at the same event. I hope the speaker wasn’t angry with me.

I think I’ve taken a xanax for anxiety once and I’ve had to undergo laughing gas for the only surgery I’ve had in my life so far (wisdom tooth extraction) as well as from some franchise dentists who wanted to charge me $1000 dollars to not only drill my tooth open but put a crown in it. I am glad I sought a second opinion. Both times I was on the gas, I laughed like Butthead. For the surgery, I had to take Vicodin which is sometimes used by others to get high but it only works if you aren’t in pain and the withdrawal is catastrophic. In my case, it just made me feel “unplugged”.

 

[Wolfsage]

Just to put this out there. If you want the Bible to make sense. You need faith to unlock it. Faith that the words are true and faith that God will help you understand it.

 

[BrokenBoy]

When did this place become bible study!?

 

[Misery]

When did this place become bible study!?

Well, most of us here do tend to be good at randomly derailing everything to go off on tangents to who knows where.

I could write a book on the technique, myself.

 

[BrokenBoy]

I could write a book on the technique, myself.

You don't need to. There's Infinite Jest.

 

[Thinx]

I studied the book of John at A level, it is quite philosophical and was an interesting read. However I d say, work on achieving self esteem. I mean, knowing yourself is great, but you are harsh on yourself, so I get the impression the component of self esteem to work on is love. How would a loving parent address the issues you raise about yourself?

He'd have to work out how to help his little kid that was into instant gratification. Some kind of mix of giving him some of what he wants and helping him diversify, and see the point of some stuff that takes more sustained effort to reap rewards? He'd probably have to lighten up too, this little kid is funny and bright and wow, all over the place sometimes! A joy to parent even when he's acting in challenging ways, I guess.

 

[Metalhead]

I studied the book of John at A level, it is quite philosophical and was an interesting read. However I d say, work on achieving self esteem. I mean, knowing yourself is great, but you are harsh on yourself, so I get the impression the component of self esteem to work on is love. How would a loving parent address the issues you raise about yourself?

He'd have to work out how to help his little kid that was into instant gratification. Some kind of mix of giving him some of what he wants and helping him diversify, and see the point of some stuff that takes more sustained effort to reap rewards? He'd probably have to lighten up too, this little kid is funny and bright and wow, all over the place sometimes! A joy to parent even when he's acting in challenging ways, I guess.

Yeah, my inner child was never allowed any grace, nor was he ever allowed to have his own personal boundaries. Many people here are aware of the fact that I grew up in an environment where I was outright forbidden from having any of my own personal boundaries. People always stole from me, bullied me, beat me, and a couple of the adults in my family sexually abused me, and all I got from my parents was that I was selfish and childish for being even slightly upset about any of that. It is far too easy for me to slip back into the victim mentality whenever I think about those days, actually. I have my own ideals that I want to live up to that my family very strongly disapproves of. For example, I want to eat a clean and healthy diet, but my family very strongly opposes my doing that because it would break their hearts if they served me extremely unhealthy food and I turned it down. Yep, these are the kinds of people that I tend to take whatever they say personally. I need to stop taking what they say personally.

Too often, I use my family's reactions as an excuse to not take care of myself. But this is not about them at all. That is just shifting the blame. I am an adult, it is time for me to be my own damn parent. My inner child wants some validation. Time for me to give him some validation. My inner child wants a better life. Time for me to be the adult and give him that better life. My inner child has ideals he wants to live up to, but I am now the irresponsible parent who tries to drown him out in an ocean of beer. Time for me to grow the hell up.

 

[BrokenBoy]

Yeah, my inner child was never allowed any grace, nor was he ever allowed to have his own personal boundaries. Many people here are aware of the fact that I grew up in an environment where I was outright forbidden from having any of my own personal boundaries. People always stole from me, bullied me, beat me, and a couple of the adults in my family sexually abused me, and all I got from my parents was that I was selfish and childish for being even slightly upset about any of that. It is far too easy for me to slip back into the victim mentality whenever I think about those days, actually. I have my own ideals that I want to live up to that my family very strongly disapproves of. For example, I want to eat a clean and healthy diet, but my family very strongly opposes my doing that because it would break their hearts if they served me extremely unhealthy food and I turned it down. Yep, these are the kinds of people that I tend to take whatever they say personally. I need to stop taking what they say personally.

Too often, I use my family's reactions as an excuse to not take care of myself. But this is not about them at all. That is just shifting the blame. I am an adult, it is time for me to be my own damn parent. My inner child wants some validation. Time for me to give him some validation. My inner child wants a better life. Time for me to be the adult and give him that better life. My inner child has ideals he wants to live up to, but I am now the irresponsible parent who tries to drown him out in an ocean of beer. Time for me to grow the hell up.

Good for you.

 

[Fino]

I remember in another thread you said you had a ex boyfriend. I sure your "god" would consider you sinful for that.

You're right! I became Christian after that.