I need some help with my nephew

[Ame568]

So, after years of research I decided to finally call myself autistic and we believe my nephew is too, I see some of myself in him. Well he's almost 3 years old and mostly non-verbal, he can say "na", "la", "da/dada" and "no" but it comes out when he's upset.

Anyway he's also a screamer, he has temper tantrums and meltdowns multiple times everyday and it makes me close to having my own meltdown because his screaming hurts my ears so bad and I don't know what to do so I get overwhelmed easily. And during his meltdowns he has a tendency to hit people and himself, bites others (he's left multiple black and blue marks on me) and sometimes breaks things.

My mom tells me to leave the situation usually but today she told me to stay with her and my nephew when he was screaming and I started to get snappy and I don't like when that happens, over the years I got better at managing my anger so I don't hurt anyone or myself but I still can't control my snappiness or force of voice.

What can I do? I want to help my nephew (especially during his meltdowns) but I also need to take care of myself so I can help take care of him.

 

[Aspychata]

I remember my sweet grandmother telling me l had a giant meltdown in public, and l was screaming. And somehow we got past that. So this is a passing thing. Perhaps we are just so overwhelmed, we just meltdown. I think it was too many people. Something l have never been great at, but a lot better at it.

He may grow out of it to some extent.

 

[Swansong]

If he's truly autistic or somewhere in the spectrum, then you can't really help him, specially given your own issues as they make you specially poorly equipped to deal with something like that.

It's not really your responsibility and there's nothing you can actually do so I'd say just to remove yourself from the situation as I don't see that as selfish. Those situations are for (hopefully) medical professionals to handle, not someone struggling with their own issues.

 

[Crossbreed]

...it makes me close to having my own meltdown because his screaming hurts my ears so bad and I don't know what to do so I get overwhelmed easily.

Get a pair of these for your reaction to his screaming. Noise-Cancelling Ear Muffs

You can still hear enough to help out, but they will take the edge off.

 

[Alexej]

Is he overly sensitive to noise? have you worked out what some of the triggers may be?

If it is noise HE might appreciate the ear defenders instead of you