I Need More Heroic Traits

[FayetheAspie]

I have had a deep seated need inside to feel like I am helping in some way most of my life. I can remember when I was quite young and would hear about a child getting kidnapped or something in the news and I would walk around daydreaming about rescuing them. As I got a bit older, I learned some skills (like how to open my own bedroom door from the outside when locked). I would practice my skills while pretending to be rescuing people and such. Most of the family didn't understand. They thought I wanted to be bad. I had an aunt ask me if I wanted to be a criminal or something. I didn't know how to respond and can not recall whether I even answered her or not. My grandpa,who was in law enforcement, literally handcuffed me to show me where he thought I was headed if I stayed on some path he thought I was on. I had been pretending to be MacGyver at the time. I guess the misunderstanding on their part is probably my fault though because so many of my traits seem to scream villain. Liking to rhyme words - villain trait, making up riddles - villain trait, mood incongruent laughter - villain trait. I need more heroic traits. It's no wonder people don't trust me or want to be around me. How do I quit liking to rhyme words and make riddles ? It seems sad to need to. I enjoy both, but what kind of respectable person does that. Villains rhyme their words and make up riddles. How do I quit experiencing mood incongruent smiling and laughing? Literally HOW ? What traits and hobbies do I need to have so I can start being more respectable ? I want to be able to make a positive difference. I want to be able to make other people's lives better.

 

[Outdated]

It's not yourself that you need to change, it's the people that you surround yourself with that you need to change.

A lot of people around the world are a lot more understanding and supportive than those you have described, and it's only when you feel free to be yourself that you'll start to have more respect for yourself. If you have no respect for yourself then others won't respect you either.

 

[Masked Man]

I think what you are seeking is validation. You want to be valuable to someone/something and looked up to.

The thing is - we can't all be the hero/main character. I think at some point we all have to decide to just be ourselves, but be the best version of ourselves that we can be. Trying to be something we're not is not sustainable and also just not possible.

 

[tlc]

I don't see you as villain-like at all. You're just intelligent and it's cool. There may be some overlap with villain traits, but you've gotta think like a villain to outsmart them and make other people's lives better. I loved watching Macgyver, he used his brain to save himself and others. As do ethical hackers and people who work in labs. Rhymes and riddles are always cool, I've already said how well you do at that. As you've said before, the laughing fits are from a known medical condition.

I don't know you personally, and I know it's easier said than done. But I say just be yourself. From what I've seen on here, you got a lot of good in the way you are. If your family doesn't respect that, then IMO the issue is them not you.

 

[IXxTchxXI]

(I hope I did the quote thing correctly)

None of the traits you mentioned are "evil traits" unless you're in the batman universe

It's ok to be who you are, if people don't like it then that's their problem not yours. Please don't change yourself to make other happy because that will lead you down a very not nice path

Remember: "you are who you are and who you are is wonderful"

 

[Aspychata]

If you can't save people in real life, then write out a story, with the villain having some cool traits. Or go into medical research to develop something to help sick people, or go learn to be a EMT employee. I know my college up the street has training for this. There are all kinds of ways to take this passion further, you just need to narrow it down to costs, passion, and time involved to get to the end result. Good luck with this.

 

[Neonatal RRT]

I have had a deep seated need inside to feel like I am helping in some way most of my life. I can remember when I was quite young and would hear about a child getting kidnapped or something in the news and I would walk around daydreaming about rescuing them. As I got a bit older, I learned some skills (like how to open my own bedroom door from the outside when locked). I would practice my skills while pretending to be rescuing people and such. Most of the family didn't understand. They thought I wanted to be bad. I had an aunt ask me if I wanted to be a criminal or something. I didn't know how to respond and can not recall whether I even answered her or not. My grandpa,who was in law enforcement, literally handcuffed me to show me where he thought I was headed if I stayed on some path he thought I was on. I had been pretending to be MacGyver at the time. I guess the misunderstanding on their part is probably my fault though because so many of my traits seem to scream villain. Liking to rhyme words - villain trait, making up riddles - villain trait, mood incongruent laughter - villain trait. I need more heroic traits. It's no wonder people don't trust me or want to be around me. How do I quit liking to rhyme words and make riddles ? It seems sad to need to. I enjoy both, but what kind of respectable person does that. Villains rhyme their words and make up riddles. How do I quit experiencing mood incongruent smiling and laughing? Literally HOW ? What traits and hobbies do I need to have so I can start being more respectable ? I want to be able to make a positive difference. I want to be able to make other people's lives better.

I can only speak for myself, but that "need inside" to feel like I am helping in some way, I also have. I need to feel "useful" to someone. I need a purpose. For me, it's my career in respiratory therapy and education.

How we manifest this need is highly individualized, but public service (fire, police, emergency medical, rescue, military, etc.) is a common thread in our society. You're certainly not alone in those thoughts and instincts. "Outward thinking" often helps our mental health, as well.

 

[AprilR]

I have no idea why people consider your traits as villain like. What does villain trait even mean? I think they mean "things that dont seem normal to me" and demonize those harmless traits.

Also the issue with laughing seems to be a trauma response.

I don't think you need to feel bad about those. People who make you feel bad about yourself for harmless things and things that are outside your control seem toxic to me.

 

[Mary Terry]

You could get trained and certified in CPR or first aid so you'll always have lifesaving skills in case they are needed.

 

[Rodafina]

In superhero stories, I always liked to think of the story from the villain’s perspective and then imagine how the story could be told with the villain as the hero. Identifying the true hero in a story is really just a matter of perspective.

In real life, a “bad guy’s” actions can be more detrimental and easier to define, no doubt, but I am confident that in real life, you do not meet the criteria for a “bad guy,” @FayetheAspie. You know in your own mind that you do not have intentions to hurt others. Don’t forget to notice your kindness, your friendliness, and your innocuous nature when you are taking stock of your “villainous” traits.

We do not all get to be heroes, but maybe being a hero is just about bluster and hubris. We can quietly live a good life, committed to helping other living beings without ever being noticed for it. What others see is less valuable than what we know to be true in our own minds. Being a hero is just wearing another mask.

 

[Kitsuna]

Although I don’t agree with them, I think I can understand people distrusting someone who creates a lot of riddles, but I also think that’s a sign of intelligence.

As far as mood incongruent laughter, I hear and feel you. I’ve been chewed out by my parents for smiling in situations where that was inappropriate, but it was because I was anxious and uncomfortable. I’ve also nervous giggled before and felt guilty at the inappropriate timing.

Rhyming words = suspicious person is silly.

I agree with Outdated that you’re not the one that needs to change, though.

 

[Jumpinbare]

You could practice leaping tall buildings and outrunning trains.

 

[Xinyta]

There are people in the world who don't need saving. Trying to be something that seeks everyone's happiness over your own, is a fool's errand. Not that believing in helping people is inherently bad.

Even though it's counter to what you think you should do. Focus on your own happiness. Surround yourself with people who care about you. Don't let others opinions of you and your thoughts drag you down.

A 'hero' is someone who isn't consurned with people pleasing. But being unapologetically themself, driven, and is a beacon of light in a generally dark world. Contributing thier talents.

 

[Judge]

Best to work on yourself until you have attained a real ability and resources to be altruistic towards others. And to leave the world of superheroes within the realm of fiction where it belongs.

 

[Aspychata]

Best to concentrate on being able to support yourself long-term, and if you are in a profession that helps others, better yet. Some of the positions do come with high burnout levels, so be forewarned, along with minimal pay. Another idea would be doing volunteer work in any capacity. And simple acts of kindness as long as you don't endanger yourself or others.

 

[FayetheAspie]

I don't see you as villain-like at all. You're just intelligent and it's cool. There may be some overlap with villain traits, but you've gotta think like a villain to outsmart them and make other people's lives better. I loved watching Macgyver, he used his brain to save himself and others. As do ethical hackers and people who work in labs. Rhymes and riddles are always cool, I've already said how well you do at that. As you've said before, the laughing fits are from a known medical condition.

I don't know you personally, and I know it's easier said than done. But I say just be yourself. From what I've seen on here, you got a lot of good in the way you are. If your family doesn't respect that, then IMO the issue is them not you.

I used to come up with a bunch of "MacGyverisms" as a kid. It made me feel pretty good about myself too ( MacGyver was like a replacement Dad figure for me when I was growing up because my real one is so mean sometimes), though somehow even that got construed as bad by aunts and grandparents somehow. I guess that's why I started examining what about myself might be the cause of people thinking I want to be bad.

 

[FayetheAspie]

I can only speak for myself, but that "need inside" to feel like I am helping in some way, I also have. I need to feel "useful" to someone. I need a purpose. For me, it's my career in respiratory therapy and education.

How we manifest this need is highly individualized, but public service (fire, police, emergency medical, rescue, military, etc.) is a common thread in our society. You're certainly not alone in those thoughts and instincts. "Outward thinking" often helps our mental health, as well.

What is outward thinking? I'm glad you were able to find a career that satisfied your need to help.

 

[FayetheAspie]

I have no idea why people consider your traits as villain like. What does villain trait even mean? I think they mean "things that dont seem normal to me" and demonize those harmless traits.

Also the issue with laughing seems to be a trauma response.

I don't think you need to feel bad about those. People who make you feel bad about yourself for harmless things and things that are outside your control seem toxic to me.

It's not that they actually word it that way, it's just that they assume ill intent where none is combined with my own opinion of myself due to recognizing certain traits (not inherently bad in themselves but which for some reason seem to be commonly applied to bad characters so it seems like there must be some bases for associating the traits as some kind of red flag behavior) of myself when watching certain series/ films.

 

[Outsider]

Some people take childhood fantasies too serious due to their low intellectual level. There was no need to handcuff a child to a bed because he was acting out on his fantasies. Persistent fantasies are a strong indication that you can be a successful writer. Maybe, writing is a way for you to express your creativity in a meaningful way. My advice is to test the waters of mystery or fantasy writing.

 

[AprilR]

It's not that they actually word it that way, it's just that they assume ill intent where none is combined with my own opinion of myself due to recognizing certain traits (not inherently bad in themselves but which for some reason seem to be commonly applied to bad characters so it seems like there must be some bases for associating the traits as some kind of red flag behavior) of myself when watching certain series/ films.

But like another poster said, we don't live in a superhero movie. And i still have no idea how making up riddles and rhymes is a red flag behavior? Even with laughing uncontrollably, it does not really translate as "villainous" in my brain. If, maybe you had a swearing out loud tic i would understand. But even in that case, i would probably assume the person had a mental health problem, not label them as a secret supervillain.

Anyway i don't mean to sound harsh, i just got angry and a bit sad when i read that. Because you seem like a very kind and upbeat person even online. I am sorry that people around you make you question yourself.

Edit: I remember a time when one of my coworkers suddenly got hugged by a disabled child while waiting at the street. His parents apologized a lot but she handled it very maturely. Now that i think of it, that can be considered disturbing behavior but even then it is best not to judge