I hate it when NTs ask me this!

[AspieOtaku]

Why don't you have a girlfriend? You need to get a girlfriend!
I facepalm and roll my eyes and want to not only slap em upside the head but as well try to explain its not that easy! I need to hide myself for one, If I tell her I am aspie or autistic she will dump me right off the bat and pretend I don't exist! Its cruel, its harsh but its reality!

 

[hiraeth]

Being asexual also it's like a double whammy. I've decided that the answer to this question should be, well do you want to help me get one? That'll get most people to shut up.

 

[Datura]

Strangely, nobody ever asked me this when I was growing up, though I know now that they noted it as a peculiarity. I nave dated in high school, nor did I try. I did have a couple of girls force themselves on me though. I found the experience flattering but uncomfortable.
Frankly my experience was a bit complicated. I was at the time closeted and trans, so the idea of having somebody fall in love with me as a man seemed abhorant and dishonest. And though I didn't realize it at the time (likely because of my rageing libido) sex just wasn't my thing. I now identify as asexual panromantic, so it is difficult to find the sort of relationship I am comfortable with.

 

[Suzanne]

I hate it when someone says: oh but we all suffer get that; really what they are saying is that you are not unique and I am thinking: but I never said I was unique!

Someone recently asked how I cope when I talk in front of people and so, I explained how I do it and how I feel and all I got back was: yes, but I think you will find most people feel that way!!!!

I am now getting the point that I must hide that I am not officially diagnosed; as I am unable to get this "badge" and it does change the tone of people and even my husband, who is very much an nt, said that I should keep quiet about it and so I will now.

If it was not so stupid, it would be funny. But I was asked how I cope with having aspergers? I am not asked that very much, for people are not really interested in how I think or feel. So, of course, I go full steam into explaining and he said: yes, I worked along side a male who had aspergers and so I see what you are saying. Then the blasted need to be honest came forth and I came out and said: well, I am not actually officially diagnosed and that immediately changed the atmosphere. Suddenly it was: oh but who is really normal? Or, we all get like that! It is so bizarre because if someone said they suffered from depression and not "officially diagnosed", no one would question them!

I guess it is because I look normal and they equate aspergers to be autism.

Again though, when this person related something about this workmate, my husband nodded avidily and said: yep that is Suzanne.

It is hard to not be honest, but I must I see try to attain to that.

 

[Judge]

After 40 the few people in my orbit simply stopped saying or asking anything. Lucky for me, because I more or less gave up on the notion of relationships after that point in my life. By then the few relationships I did have were all behind me.

 

[Mia]

Some responses:

Haven't met anyone I like well enough.
People my age are so immature. (Used to say that)
Haven't found anyone that interesting.

 

[Maelstrom]

Why don't you have a girlfriend? You need to get a girlfriend!
I facepalm and roll my eyes and want to not only slap em upside the head but as well try to explain its not that easy! I need to hide myself for one, If I tell her I am aspie or autistic she will dump me right off the bat and pretend I don't exist! Its cruel, its harsh but its reality!

I tell them anyways it sorts them quickly....no point in hiding a deal breaker...it just hurts more when they dump you.
I tried the bending over backwards thing to please thing it just got me butchered. I am nice and like to be fair but if the girl is going to spook the first time I show who I am and what I like....I'll do my best to be polite and sweet about it and hold the door open for her to leave. I learned you can not force a person to be fair or understanding by being nice....either they have it or they don't.

Apparently you have to just keep tossing fish back until the prize winner is caught...if you keep landing the wrong fish let a friend land you one for a change maybe you have the wrong bait on the hook.
Dating brutal on the heart sometimes tho it is not much fun getting rejected....but it is actually a kindness to get dumped early if there is no match...less heartbreak.