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I feel there is nothing left for me

AidenMaccullagh

AidenMaccullagh

Well-Known Member
So I know it's been a while since I have posted in here but now I fear that this of all things may sink my life. To me my life is pointless without a special someone to share it with.

It seems that now adays it is impossible to find someone who will love me for me and not for my money iTunes gift cards or Amazon gift cards or trying to claim enheritence from a loved one dying. This is one thing that I will not be able to get over until it's solved.

I have an expectation that of I have not met a woman who will love me for me and not money or iTunes gift cards or Amazon gift cards or trying to get the money from an enheritence by age 30 that I will give up on life and end my suffering because lately it's all been ooooh he is ugly. He probably has a small package. I'm fed up with being degraded and judged.

Yeah I have a job and a car but I never get invited to a social gathering outside of work or anything it's like I'm a ghost they don't care about me. My own parents have told me they are sick of me.

I know it may sound like I am desperate but this has gone on for too long.
 
I personnaly gave up on love for years now.

But i understand you iv been there aswell.

It must be harder if you v already been in a relationship, iv never been there.



I guess its even harder to find people that we can trust since we miss some clues that they might be just using us.

Cant realy give you an advice...they might be bad.
If somehow you stiĺl care about that try to engage yourself therefore you are less likely to be targeted.
And keep track of what the other person does for you. If she contacts you only when she needs something and other than that you are always the one trying to reach her just stop.


If you know someone at work try to ask that person if he/she has something planned i dont know.

Rude peole dont deserve your attention.

But yeah iv basically gave up on socialisation myself...I feel like you that people dont care and just want to use me.

And iv always been rejected by girls...only one time a girl tried to kiss me but i ran away so i guess thats not for.me anyway.

I dont know how I would be if my parentd rejected me and if i didnt have like 2 friends that I can talk to sometimes.

I would have no reason to stay for sure.

But your still there right so they might be something that keep you alive, I dont know,sometimes a bag of candy makes my day.
 
The man with the smallest package gets women all the time(facts). Are you friends with the people you work with, or are you’ll just coworkers?
 
Mostly my co workers just look at me with a smile when I know that all of them really hate me. I mean I try to socialize with them but they put a fake smile on their faces just to make me think they like me. This world has become dangerous for the disabled. Every one in my state holds high expectations. For women guys must drink smoke weed have arms the size of boulders have a hell load of money and have a genitals the size of a porn star. For guys women have to be Barbie doll figured, have sex at the guy's request, smoke and drink and have a shaved intimate area and a large chest. That's what most people in my state want
 
I realized long ago that the type of superficial jerks Aiden describes in the above post are not worth my time, even to think about much less pursue.

I went through a time when I was desperate for female companionship, I personally think that from approximately ages 14 to 30 humans are programmed to search for and find a mate, then to have children, thus the woman's "biological clock". The reasons are obvious, we evolved in a world where most children died soon after birth, so a couple would have to have 10 or 11 kids starting at 15 in order to produce 2 or 3 survivors before the breeding couple died around age 45. Humans live in an environment today that is drastically different from the one we lived in for 99.9999% of our species's existence, but our bodies still are programmed for a stone age world. The "loneliness" is there to force us to mate.

As autistics, we have a disadvantage in the mating game, but autism didn't really exist for most of human history, so we still have the same biological urges yet can't fulfill them. The whole thing where guys who lose a relationship or can't find one tend to kill themselves is related, humans are meant to be polygamous with alpha males getting all the women, and of course in a polygamous society beta males have to be gotten rid of, so our genes tell betas to kill themselves.
 
oregano said:
I realized long ago that the type of superficial jerks Aiden describes in the above post are not worth my time, even to think about much less pursue.

I went through a time when I was desperate for female companionship, I personally think that from approximately ages 14 to 30 humans are programmed to search for and find a mate, then to have children, thus the woman's "biological clock". The reasons are obvious, we evolved in a world where most children died soon after birth, so a couple would have to have 10 or 11 kids starting at 15 in order to produce 2 or 3 survivors before the breeding couple died around age 45. Humans live in an environment today that is drastically different from the one we lived in for 99.9999% of our species's existence, but our bodies still are programmed for a stone age world. The "loneliness" is there to force us to mate.

As autistics, we have a disadvantage in the mating game, but autism didn't really exist for most of human history, so we still have the same biological urges yet can't fulfill them. The whole thing where guys who lose a relationship or can't find one tend to kill themselves is related, humans are meant to be polygamous with alpha males getting all the women, and of course in a polygamous society beta males have to be gotten rid of, so our genes tell betas to kill themselves.
Click to expand...
Hence why there is nothing for me here I'm very tempted to kill myself.
 
Regarding your work situation, I work in an industrial type shop, I generally get along with most of my co-workers, I'm not very chatty, never have been, the only place I see my co-workers is at work... When I hit the weekend and/or evenings, I have no great desire to socialize with them, not that I wouldn't...

I have a small circle of friends I spend time with on weekends as well as being a loner... Also through my downtown photography I have casual friendships with lots of people, who I often chat with... I don't depend on co-workers for any of my social life...
 
If it hadn't have been for my parents who were always supportive and loving, I don't know what would have become of me either.
I've had a few what I called 'boyfriends', indicating some romantic feelings, but, I guess fortunately for
me the human genetics never kicked in and I didn't find the urge for a mate or having children a part of
my desires in life.
A few friends, my parents, pets, activities I enjoyed like art and music, the outdoors and fishing with my Dad, along with a job that kept me busy and sometimes on the road were satisfactory.
Only now that I am older and those days and my parents are gone, do I feel alone.
 
Hey Aiden, Your experiences mirror my own.
I have zero friends, and the only time I get invited to anything is from those who are much younger to me. The age gap is a real sticking point when it comes to trying to socialise with those younger or older, and my peers never wanted to know me, I have had that all my life.

It's true that women want a man with money and a big 'package', so don't worry about them, the right girl will one day appear out of the blue.

My parents seem only to approve of me if I have money and a great golf coaching career, but it's not what I really wanted, but now I am 50 I am sticking with golf, for my sake only.

Don't try to impress others, let others impress you.

You have a lot to offer!
 
You just haven't run into the right people yet.

I used to think everyone hated me and always will, until I found a job where everyone absolutely love me. You just need to find people who are likeminded to you, that you have a lot in common with. Maybe other aspies.

And my father had told me when I was sixteen that they're sorry they had me. He was speaking for my mother, and she never contradicts him. But it doesn't matter. You can have your own life apart from your parents. You can have a pet that will love you unconditionally. There's so much more to life than what your parents and coworkers think of you.
 
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