I feel lonely?

[Annaa]

I feel so just lonely, I feel like im unable to connect with people the same way that everyone else does. I don't have someone I could call a best friend, and I don't have someone i can just text. I don't have people I'd like to be around for a long while in general. I feel like socialising and just being is so much easier to everyone, than to me it's like a constant chore. Like a stupid test and I'm gambling whether I get it right or wrong.
I'm so sick of it I wish I was normal.

 

[monkeyclogs]

your feelings are always valid.

you mentioned class so i'm going to assume you're still at school. apologies if thats a wrong assumption.

This seems like two different but related problems to me

1. These particular girls

If you are feeling uncomfortable then trust your gut. Whilst their behaviour may not be deliberate it doesn't sound like you are enjoying their company and they are not demonstrating much empathy towards you. This is understandably causing a feeling of emotional insecurity on your part which is a normal reaction. you can choose to take yourself out of that situation.

2. the feelings of being different and alone

This is really really common in people with neurodivergence. If you are at school it might be worth a visit to the school councellor to see if they can help you find people who get you a bit better. There may be another girl somewhere in the school looking for someone just like you or the councellor might have information on local groups you could attend where you could meet people more attuned to who you are.

And I'll repeat the first bit of my response again...

your feelings are always valid.

 

[cooljethro]

Your age of 17 is very young and being autistic at that age in my experience is harder than what comes later, in some respects at least. You don't have the life experience yet to accept certain things or workaround them, perhaps?

Hang in there, in any case. Things often do get better in various ways.

Just know that you are not at fault for any of these issues - you are autistic and it is sadly normal for people to leave you isolated and wanting more human connection.

 

[lunarious]

Edited

I feel so just lonely, I feel like im unable to connect with people the same way that everyone else does. I don't have someone I could call a best friend, and I don't have someone i can just text. I don't have people I'd like to be around for a long while in general. I feel like socialising and just being is so much easier to everyone, than to me it's like a constant chore. Like a stupid test and I'm gambling whether I get it right or wrong.
I'm so sick of it I wish I was normal.

If you had a spell a formula to make certain feelings as loneliness disappear, and you made loneliness disappear you might regret being "happy". Because people are sheep...

The good side of Loneliness you are becoming worth something. Because happy people are sedated / drugged on Life. Find hobbies. Learn a word every second day.

I find myself repeatedly say on AF: Loneliness is better than bad company. But we want good company. ... So loneliness can be good compared to the alternative.

Your age of 17 is very young and being autistic at that age in my experience is harder than what comes later, in some respects at least. You don't have the life experience yet to accept certain things or workaround them, perhaps?

Life experience is non-sense. ASD and i'm ASD 1 are intellectual and in good company, we want the Hereafter with a Garden of bliss, where everyone walks in shackles except Us. In The Hereafter.

 

[Shamar]

I feel so just lonely, I feel like im unable to connect with people the same way that everyone else does. I don't have someone I could call a best friend, and I don't have someone i can just text. I don't have people I'd like to be around for a long while in general. I feel like socialising and just being is so much easier to everyone, than to me it's like a constant chore. Like a stupid test and I'm gambling whether I get it right or wrong.
I'm so sick of it I wish I was normal.

I feel for you. I really do. What you describe is very much my own life. Your observations are correct, socializing and just being really are easier for most people. Notice I said most people. There are some who are not in that category. You will find some right here. This forum is the closest I have ever come to having friends. Unfortunately, I cannot fix it for you. I cannot even fix it for myself. All I can tell you is to be yourself for you, and not for other people. And we are here to help you through the rough times.

 

[Aspychata]

My life is long periods of being alone, or too many people all at once. I do remember just going to the store and chatting with the cashier, asking how they are doing, and then l felt better, not so isolated. I think having pet is very enjoyable, but that doesn't work for everybody. Have you thought about volunteer positions? This helps with feeling social and is great on a resume, and it feels great to give time to important causes. Sorry to read that you feel a bit isolated. Maybe you're dealing with anxiety, which makes us over analyze ourselves. Do you have any sport interests? Running, biking, swimming, martial arts, anything to get you moving and feeling better. Some people just enjoy fishing, or meditation, or playing a musical instrument to help them relax.

 

[Something05]

I've been seeing a psychologist for my social difficulties, I don't know how much it's helping yet but I think it's better than nothing, psychology is also covered by my NDIS (Australian government disability scheme) plan, so I don't have to pay anything for it.

 

[lunarious]

I've been seeing a psychologist for my social difficulties, I don't know how much it's helping yet but I think it's better than nothing, psychology is also covered by my NDIS (Australian government disability scheme) plan, so I don't have to pay anything for it.

Once i approached psychologist through my personal Doctor assigned from Government, we call in Norway "fastlege". The first psychologist available was 6 months in the future. (edit) And the psychologist was not specialist AFAIR.

Before that I had a psychologist once every month maybe 1-2 years AFAIR and he told me almost nothing except; If i create Defensive Weapon or D weapon as we call it today the government will "pull together" Defensively — and hurt you.

With or without mentalizing (or telepathy which is pseudo-science), I want to be a Royalty with dignity. The psychologist appearently convert you to a soldier or slave of other gods that Allah. Allah and mentalizing or Holy Spirit is mysterious for me ... But someone tried to kill me for not yielding to equality with worthless people. Which of course is OK to yield, Islam is submission .... But ask. Like e.g. Karate starts and ends with a Bow and respect.

What a psychologist could have done? Talked to me Face to Face respecting my dignity instead of starving me and decimating me until Defenestration. Well knowing i can't fight nor Defend myself without dignity. And rotting to death. ...

The hereafter seems still distant.

 

[Cloudy Stuart]

I feel so just lonely, I feel like im unable to connect with people the same way that everyone else does. I don't have someone I could call a best friend, and I don't have someone i can just text. I don't have people I'd like to be around for a long while in general. I feel like socialising and just being is so much easier to everyone, than to me it's like a constant chore. Like a stupid test and I'm gambling whether I get it right or wrong.
I'm so sick of it I wish I was normal.

You describe it very well. Unfortunately I cannot find an answer either.

Below is a cartoon I made to try to help non-autistic people understand how hard interacting is for people on the spectrum. It was going to be for World Autism Day but I missed the deadline.

 

[AprilR]

I am sorry you feel this way. If making friends in school is not an option, maybe try going to autism support groups in your area.

You are still young, try to have a positive outlook. I hope you have a good future.

 

[lunarious]

@AprilR it popular to say INFP and INFJ, i mean autistic people are "old soul". That they look like children but they are "old soul".

Neccesarily because ASD although they are children they have the mind and moral of a Professor. At least that's my story.

ASD are called; Young Professor. i.e. Sheldon Cooper (edit) from the series Big Bang Theory. Sheldon is autist.

PS: I suspect INFP and INFJ are autistic. Myself; i'm INFP but i score INFJ now. And 100% autistic Muslim.

 

[Cloudy Stuart]

@AprilR it popular to say INFP and INFJ, i mean autistic people are "old soul". That they look like children but they are "old soul".

Neccesarily because ASD although they are children they have the mind and moral of a Professor. At least that's my story.

ASD are called; Young Professor. i.e. Sheldon Cooper (edit) from the series Big Bang Theory. Sheldon is autist.

PS: I suspect INFP and INFJ are autistic. Myself; i'm INFP but i score INFJ now. And 100% autistic Muslim.

"i mean autistic people are "old soul""

I feel that. When I meet people who are on the spectrum I feel much safer straight away.

 

[SlowDave]

I am finding I don’t get lonely like I used to. Part is understanding myself more. I also don’t think normal is anything to strive for. Social stuff is tiring and people inevitably let you down. So I am savoring my alone time. I live alone with my little dog. Life really isn’t like what is portrayed on tv or the movies. Follow you own path and interests. Don’t compare your insides to others outsides. All the best.

 

[TouhouFan28]

I feel so just lonely, I feel like im unable to connect with people the same way that everyone else does. I don't have someone I could call a best friend, and I don't have someone i can just text. I don't have people I'd like to be around for a long while in general. I feel like socialising and just being is so much easier to everyone, than to me it's like a constant chore. Like a stupid test and I'm gambling whether I get it right or wrong.
I'm so sick of it I wish I was normal.

I relate heavily. I would often times dream of social interaction yet would be so drained to actually go through with it. I can't help but blame myself. I'm isolated and without much social connection yet I'm too lazy to change and go outside, too socially awkward to hold casual talk, uninterested in clubs or parties. And the friends I do have, every time they'd hang out I'd be too unmotivated to join them. So my social isolation is largely my fault lmao. But I'm fine living like this. I'm alone, and society tells me I should feel sad about that but I don't. I used to hate myself for it and wish I was normal much like yourself but I realized that I was just conditioned that way. I grew up constantly being exposed to medias about hanging out with other people and thought that "this is how to be alive and human." But I found my own happiness within my solitude and that's fine too. Of course, don't shut yourself in. Just because I isolate myself doesn't mean I don't get sunlight!