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I connect with socially awkward girl's.

@Gerald Wilgus , l am not passing judgment, simply saying the obvious. I just feel sorry for women married to that type which l see a lot of married men hitting on me in Florida, l feel sorry that their wives are clueless.
But, DAMN, girl. Clueless? My spouse and I know each other too well because ours has been a relationship of equals. It would not even cross my mind to behave like those guys.
 
My wife and I are not equals. She is much smarter than I. I am just clever enough to get myself in trouble. She is the one who gets me out of it.
Well, my spouse could out Macgyver me. Just the other day she was tossing out some old boots. She was removing the leather belts with buckles to save because "you never know."
 
Yeah, I never understood wanting the utmost intimacy with a woman, but that it would just be all for my benefit. That feels so "under my skin" bad. The ick. It's also something that should be properly, respectfully earned and never once expected (or for a person to feel entitled to).
When I finally earned that utmost intimacy, her acceptance of me was the overwhelming benefit. I felt so understood that all I could think about was experiencing her pleasure.
 
This whole topic of toxic, narcissistic, hedonistic behavior in society, I think we can make a 20+ page thread on this. When someone like me reads or watches a video about this, frankly, I simply don't understand it. Sure, I can come up with several potential contributors to this bad behavior, but I have a completely different personality and different value system. For me, having a "high value" life partner is a priority. We all lose our youthful looks and our bodies decline with age, so what's left of the "book" when the "cover" has deteriorated? It had better be your best friend, your special person, the person that walks with you through the best and worst of times in your life, the person who supports and lifts you up every day,...and you are the same for them.

You just have to find "your person" and as @Tony Ramirez is discovering, "your person" might not be who you thought you were looking for. You may be the type of person that gets along with everyone, but to be sure, "your person" is a rare and special find. Someone who is socially awkward and perhaps, by their marginalization, hasn't or doesn't want to participate in all that toxic, narcissistic, and hedonistic behavior. Someone who understands what it is like not to have friends, who has been pushed aside, will likely put a lot more value on the one or few friends they have. That type of person seems like a great place to start looking for a great life partner.
 
I never had a girlfriend. I am starting to actually experience having female friends for the first time. Actually talking to one on the phone for an hour and 24 minutes and having her want to listen to me it never happened before.
 
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