I can't stand to look at one person's face

[Dias]

Hi.
I need help with this.
There is one person with who I have to work sometimes and the problem is that I can't stand to look at her face...
I don't know if this is related with Autism and with facial expressions.
I look at her only with great difficulty and if I do it for more than a few seconds I feel disgusted.
What can this mean? She is not a bad or ugly person. All I can read in her face is arrogance but I doubt that it is accurate although we all are arrogant sometimes and for sure so is she.
Did you ever have such an experience?

 

[AHuman]

I'm like that with politicians. If I don't like their politics particularly I find it painful to look at them.

I can absolutely understand what you mean though. I do find it at least a bit painful to read negative emotions on people's faces, and most faces outside of obvious happiness look negative to me. I have trained myself to at least try though.

 

[Aspychata]

People that rub me wrong, l hate looking at them. l am at this point with a arrogant male manager who assumed that all employees are easy picking for him to date. He irritates the bjonkers out of me but l am using this as a exercise to control my emotions.

 

[Suzanne]

Oh dear, I tend to be the opposite. I can't help but keep looking at the person who is causing me grief or I find nasty. I guess it is because I cannot fathom how someone can be so horrible.

 

[Tom]

I never had that occur in that way, but wonder if it is just another form of aversion. That is taking an unusual dislike/aversion to something out of normal proportion.

 

[Dias]

For sure this aversion is out of the ordinary and I have no idea how to fix it or what the cause is.
I always try to be a nice person to everyone or at least neutral, I don't always succed but I never experienced something like this before, to such a degree.
And as always I am thinking what am I doing wrong and that it is probably my fault...
I fail to grasp what is the lesson for me to learn here, because for me it all comes down to lessons to learn or karma to burn.
Maybe it is caused by a past life experience?

 

[Peter Morrison]

If you want to overcome this face aversion, start by consciously looking at her. Get used to seeing her face and the way her lips move when she speaks. It's an experiment. You have the right to like or dislike anything you choose, but I think this inability to look her in the face is something you wish to overcome. Overcome it by doing it. You don't have to stare, but you should get comfortable with looking at her at least for acknowledgement. Once you are used to it, it won't be as uncomfortable. Most of us avoid direct eye contact with people, and I know this is considered to be rude in many social and professional settings. I will only look directly at someone when I realize I am avoiding direct contact. Avoidance is natural for me, so I have to consciously look at someone so as not to appear rude. It's a short glance, but culturally valuable.

 

[Dias]

I know I have to try to look at her but it is really difficult and I am afraid she or someone will notice the pain in my face when I try to do it...I can't really hide it...
But I understand the importance of it.
There is this saying: " what you resist persist"

 

[Nauti]

I get that a lot, where I find people painful and severely uncomfortable to be around, to look at and to listen to their voice.

I wonder if mindfully cultivating compassion for both yourself and them, would work?

Also, if you have to look at her, could you try to focus on mindfully breathing, while you do it, and might that help?
I've found mindful breathing very effective for getting through extremely painful and uncomfortable experiences (I m thinking childbirth, but I'm wondering if it might be a useful thing in other painful situations?).

Let us know how you go.

At least you have us to talk to, who understand and care. I mean, I totally get it, I really do. I'm feeling for you.

 

[tlc]

I am uncomfortable looking directly at someone, because all my childhood I was taught not to stare at people. So I try to look when someone's talking to me but it seems wrong and always wonder what they really think.

 

[Dias]

I also developed the idea ( don't know how or why) that looking in to people's eyes is a form of confrontation.
Maybe because I ust to see a lot of wildlife documentaries while growing up and they always say we should not look in to animals eyes or they see it as a threat and attack you. I guess I assumed the same applies to Humans but apparently not

 

[tree]

The stare down does apply to humans, as well.

staredown
noun
US

• 1A situation in which two individuals stare at each other, typically in a hostile or intimidating way, until one is no longer able to maintain eye contact and feels forced to look away.
  
  ‘he won his staredown with Matt’

1.1 A confrontation between two parties in which neither side is prepared to back down.
‘both sides are urging quick action but offering no compromises in a political staredown that shows no signs of breaking’
staredown | Definition of staredown in English by Oxford Dictionaries
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: to cause to waver or submit by or as if by staring
Definition of STARE DOWN

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A stare differs from a glance or gaze, in duration and intention.