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I am gay and I hate it when people ask me this question.

Metalhead said:
She claimed my lack of interest in penetrating a vagina was proof I had misogyny. A damn stupid argument.
Click to expand...
Yep.
No offence, but your sister doesn't sound all that bright.

BTW:
I have always been penetration-averse, yet I am a cis heterosexual man.
My having always been an antinatalist had everything to do with that.
A Philosophical/ethical/moral condom, as it were. :cool:
 
Thanks for the support from most of the people here. And also, thanks to the mods.

My sister asked me a loaded question when I was already feeling like crap, and I may have overreacted.
 
Does she know you're gay? Sorry if that's a stupid question if you came out to her, but it sounds like she doesn't know
 
I would probably just have been really confused about that question. It doesn't make any logical sense.

It would be like asking me, an asexual person, "who would you sleep with, though?"

Uhm... no one? Someone being exceptionally physically attractive in the conventional sense still wouldn't change my sexuality? Should I explain once again to you what the definition of asexuality is? Thanks for the question though?

Some people have a hard time understanding. If you feel better next time with your sister, you could of course try to figure out what it actually is she wants to ask you. Otherwise, I'd just ignore that. You don't have to accept open intolerance, though.

If you need to feel accepted, we're here for you.
 
Your family has issues, are you sure they didn't swap you at the hospital? Last nite, l was able to show how l raised my ND daughter, letting her pursue her interests as my mom listened. So different from my mom's lack of care or concern.
 
Metalhead said:
My sister asked me a loaded question when I was already feeling like crap, and I may have overreacted.
Click to expand...

Had it been from a total stranger, I could see this. However it was your own sister. I don't think you overreacted under the circumstances. From my perspective it did seem like a loaded question.

Reminding me of my own brother, and how he habitually treats and expects everyone to react as the NT who he is. Without any thought or compassion of persons who are different from him.

What does it take for those persons in our closest social circles not to necessarily understand or relate to us, but rather just to accept we are "different" in some ways ?
 
I'm a straight man, and a girl I knew once asked me something like, which famous man would I sleep with.

I didn't take any offence, maybe because she often asked questions like which famous woman do you think is most attractive etc.

I suspect she was bisexual but never called herself that. She had a boyfriend.
 
Metalhead said:
“What woman would you sleep with?”

My sister asked me that question, and then she got offended when I told her “none of them.” She then said, “Don’t be like that!”

So yes, my sister told me not to be a faggot.

Homophobia is pervasive in our culture:
Click to expand...
Personally, when I read that, it makes me wonder if she really, truly, doesn't understand and doesn't comprehend what it is like to be homosexual. She may be thinking it is some sort of "preference" or a conscious choice.

I guess I wouldn't interpret this as "homophobia" per se, but rather something more like a combination of ignorance and a lack of cognitive empathy.

So, for instance, if she is heterosexual and only likes men sexually, and is perhaps turned off by women, you could flip it back on her by asking her "What woman would you sleep with?" When she says, "None of them." Then simply ask her "Why?" When she goes to explain, then you say, "Exactly, now you understand me." "Whatever biological triggers YOU have for liking men sexually, and not women, I have as well."
 
Metalhead said:
“What woman would you sleep with?”

My sister asked me that question, and then she got offended when I told her “none of them.” She then said, “Don’t be like that!”

So yes, my sister told me not to be a faggot.

Homophobia is pervasive in our culture:
Click to expand...
Considering all you have written during the years about your family, I have to ask: Are there any members of your family other than you who are not messed up? Your suffering and problems seem to be a result of your family and not you.
 
Metalhead said:
“What woman would you sleep with?”

My sister asked me that question, and then she got offended when I told her “none of them.” She then said, “Don’t be like that!”

So yes, my sister told me not to be a faggot.

Homophobia is pervasive in our culture:
Click to expand...
My answer would have been “Well what woman would you sleep with?” Hey if someone asks that question then they can’t get mad if you ask them the same thing!
 
My response would have been "I never sleep with anyone." And I never have.
It's a passive-aggressive answer that is literal. You don't have to sleep with someone to have sexual relationships.

Same as the old cliche "What's love got to do with it?" You don't have to be in love either for a relationship.

Those types of questions aggravate me, and I've got pre-contrived answers for a lot of them. I'm asexual too, so that gets a lot of questions about my life.
I like the idea that others have given, ask her the same thing. See what she says.
Maybe it wasn't meant as a snarky question. Maybe it was.
Her reply to the question would show.

We like you here, @Metalhead . No judgements, only acceptance.
 
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