How to ignore my romance problems?

[DragonKid♾]

So, I kind of have romance problems. I don’t know how to elaborate on the internet. It’s complicated. How do I ignore it? I feel like this is the dark side of my ability to hyperfixate. It can cause rumination. I felt like I should ask other autistic people because they might understand what’s in my head. I don’t want my worries and negativity and stuff and things to be too loud. But I don’t have noise canceling headphones for the inside of my head. Sorry if this didn’t make sense.

 

[Mr. Stevens]

It's hard to know how to respond without knowing what the problems are. But, ignoring them probably isn't the answer.

 

[DragonKid♾]

It's hard to know how to respond without knowing what the problems are. But, ignoring them probably isn't the answer.

Then what is the answer? I’m not good at this.

 

[Gerald Wilgus]

What are your feelings? I'll assume that you have normal desires for a relationship, yet do not know how to go about realizing such. You are far from alone in that. As a teen and young adult I had such yearnings but was socially dysfunctional and developed an expectation of rejection. I got good at telling myself that I was damaged and worthless.

I really don't know what happened, but by age 25 and with successes in demanding basic research (molecular genetics, experimental pathology) I reassessed myself and decided that I was interesting and worthwhile. With my focus I started learning social communication and got involved with groups of cooperative, accepting, people. That is when I started dating, had normal ups and downs, but that prepared me to recognize the person who is now my spouse.

Harness your strengths and I wish you growth in your romantic involvement.

 

[Rodafina]

Ignoring your feelings sounds risky and likely ineffective. Hyperfixation, however, is something we can learn to manage.

Understanding your feelings and getting them out of your thoughts can help with hyperfixation. Maybe writing them out or expressing your feelings through drawing, art, talking with a friend, or singing would help you to release them. Pent-up feelings that we can’t understand or figure out actually increase our hyper fixation, because of course, we want to find the answer.

After that, I would say distraction and action. Stay busy with other things that interest you and focus on the exact moment you are in. Try to think of exactly what’s going on around you in a room, like the lighting, the sounds, the activity at hand, where your focus is. Some people call this mindfulness, or staying in the moment, but whatever you want to call it, it’s keeping your mind in the present moment and not worrying too much about the past, the future, or the unknowns.

Lastly, I would say exercise. Moving your body and wearing yourself out physically can help keep your mind from hyper fixating too much on one thing.

 

[DragonKid♾]

Understanding your feelings and getting them out of your thoughts can help with hyperfixation. Maybe writing them out or expressing your feelings through drawing, art, talking with a friend, or singing would help you to release them.

I do have a journal, I just haven’t used it in a while. Thanks for reminding me I have it.

 

[paloftoon]

I suggest you be open to an audio or video chat, or meeting in-person in a public place to discuss what you have a hard time expressing online. Some things, especially of deeper content, are not easily well expressed in an online format only.

 

[Aspychata]

Sometimes l throw myself into physically demanding exercise, it drowns out all the other nonsense in my little cat brain.