patrick183
Member
I live with my wife and two young kids. I am by far the most organized and I do most of the tidying up. My wife and older son are pretty bad, they just don't seem to understand the idea of putting things away! It bothers me, and I do get frustrated regularly, but I've learned to live with it and not snap at anyone. I struggle with being assertive and asking for help. I've had bad experiences when I try to be critical of others. We do hire a cleaning crew to come once a month and clean all the surfaces, but that's not that significant compared to all the daily cleaning I do. Almost any path from point A to point B in my house throughout the day includes picking up and putting things away opportunistically.
On the other hand, my wife handles a lot of things I don't. She calls it emotional burden, which I've listened to her about and learned about. For example, thinking about gifts to buy others, thinking about what the kids need, planning outings, thinking more about daily logistical details, etc. And I've tried to help with these types of things more.
So I've come to a view of relationships in a way that certain things will be very unequal, but on the whole, if both are putting best efforts forward and helping where they can, that is a pretty good place to be.
On the other hand, my wife handles a lot of things I don't. She calls it emotional burden, which I've listened to her about and learned about. For example, thinking about gifts to buy others, thinking about what the kids need, planning outings, thinking more about daily logistical details, etc. And I've tried to help with these types of things more.
So I've come to a view of relationships in a way that certain things will be very unequal, but on the whole, if both are putting best efforts forward and helping where they can, that is a pretty good place to be.