How to deal with HeartBreak?!

[Shaun-Junior Bishop]

I think maybe I've just denied the true intentions of this thread. The reason I made this was because I miss her and I'm not good at spotting social ques pr understanding people very well on a non-logical manner which emotion fits in. Thing is, she seemed so into me, she was so forward and intense before me and it made me feel so comfortable being who i truly am and then 2 weeks ago. She fell back into one of her episodes of depression and became really distant. She then called me and said that she had been thinking about it and she stressed herself out because she knew i loved her and that she wanted to say it back and then she said she realised that she did love me but as a bestfriend but the thing is. The way we were, we were so intimate and we hadn't even had sex yet. The connection was so strong and we had spoken about the future. I asked her if maybe she felt that way because she was trying to force the love and if maybe her being depressed has made an effect too. I'm just hoping that maybe she was wrong and i will have her back in my life again. I keep going over in my head of ways I come get her back but I just want to be happy. I just dont understand what to do.

 

[Bronzelincolns]

in that case you'll have to allow her to make the move. if she's dealing with depression she might miss you too and come back after she's out of her funk. if not, well....time to move on.

if she's okay with being friends with you then you can at least continue communication and see where that goes. keep in mind though, this is what people will tell you when they really just want to break it off.

 

[Loren]

Welcome to the forum.

I hope in the end, your relationship sorts itself out, and the current state of things is just temporary.

In case you haven't done, it might be of help to you/your emotion processing plight, to research Alexithymia, of which is prominent in Autistic people. I wish I had more, substantial advice to offer. Just know that you are not alone/you are understood, here. x

 

[Shaun-Junior Bishop]

Welcome to the forum.

I hope in the end, your relationship sorts itself out, and the current state of things is just temporary.

In case you haven't done, it might be of help to you/your emotion processing plight, to research Alexithymia, of which is prominent in Autistic people. I wish I had more, substantial advice to offer. Just know that you are not alone/you are understood, here. x

Thank you, I just researched it and it makes some sense to me. It corresponds to how I think I am at the moment. It's just theres so many emotions going on and they keep changing so fast and the completely going. It states that there are two types of Alexithymia. State Alexithymia and Characteristic Alexithymia. One meaning it's something within ones personality and the other meaning it can be caused by an event. Since I am okay with sharing emotions when I tend to feel comfortable with someone even though it takes so time I think the fact I have moments where I just go blank and robotic points more to the state Alexithymia, which is meant to be temporary.

Thank you for the support, its helping me so much

 

[Tom]

Heatbreak. Can't you at least fix the title?

 

[Shaun-Junior Bishop]

Heatbreak. Can't you at least fix the title?

What else would I call it?

 

[tree]

What else would I call it?

Oh.
Did you intend that it really should be titled "HeatBreak"?

I changed it to "HeartBreak" because I thought "HeatBreak" was a typo.

 

[Shaun-Junior Bishop]

Oh.
Did you intend that it really should be titled "HeatBreak"?

I changed it to "HeartBreak" because I thought "HeatBreak" was a typo.

I didnt see that I do apologise, my head has been all over the place. Sorry everyone

 

[Loren]

Thank you, I just researched it and it makes some sense to me. It corresponds to how I think I am at the moment. It's just theres so many emotions going on and they keep changing so fast and the completely going. It states that there are two types of Alexithymia. State Alexithymia and Characteristic Alexithymia. One meaning it's something within ones personality and the other meaning it can be caused by an event. Since I am okay with sharing emotions when I tend to feel comfortable with someone even though it takes so time I think the fact I have moments where I just go blank and robotic points more to the state Alexithymia, which is meant to be temporary.

Thank you for the support, its helping me so much

You're welcome! I'm glad to know it is helping you. I had the same experience that you are, presently, going through, and empathize with you.

As another member mentioned, earlier on, in the thread, I think some characteristics of what you're experiencing are similar to what can occur when a person shuts down, of which, I do, in response to various stimuli. Other experiences you described, are reminiscent of alexithymia traits I possess, thus, I thought I would mention it. Alexithymia can effect people in different ways, to varying degrees.

No need to apologize for the typo. We all make them, from time to time. : ))

 

[Annanda]

She broke up with me, said the love wasnt qhat she expected,, it came out of no where and all I've done for 24 hours is make up alagorhymes in my head to why it happened.

So you've lost your love. She broke up with you. You might be shocked. In this case emotions and feelings would come indeed with delay as others said before.
And what does your autistic brain? Your autistic brain does, what autistic brains are made for: process information, very quickly, I guess.
Sometimes it's such a fortune to be autistic!

 

[Tom]

You fixed the title. Well done!

 

[Gummi27]

I'm very sorry to hear about your break up. Emotional pain or lack there of, it is still a loss and I bet that sucks.

I was recently dumped during a sensory overload and C-PTSD flashback, and initially- I was a wreck. For a couple of hours. Then suddenly it stopped, and for a full month and a half I didnt shed a single tear, until these last few weeks.

On the other side, the person who dumped me- is outwardly unbothered by losing me. He only acknowledges my existence if we are talking about room mate stuff. Once I move out, he will likely make me disappear. I will regret losing him for the rest of my life. He is the most familiar love I've ever felt. Oh and he is Aspie.

I dunno. I thought maybe you'd find that interesting.