how to deal with a weird co worker

[Robby]

Hey everyone so I work part time at a job I like a lot. It's going very well for me, and I get along with all my co workers. However, there is this one guy there who is getting on my last nerve. He's been here a few months and mostly I have very little interaction with him. There's clearly something wrong with him, I mean I think he is bipolar or has other serious issues. He is always blurting out extremely rude stuff, randomly, and making bizarre noises and such. I know my co workers are aware of it, because I've seen their reactions. He acts weird around everybody pretty much. He was talking to a co worker today and I heard him making weird high pitched squealing noises. He just creeps me out. I've chatted and made small talk with this guy, and I always try to treat others with compassion. But lately he is starting to unnerve me. Like today, he walks by my desk and I opened my mouth to say hi and all he said was "I will cut you" and made a slicing gesture across his throat. He also had said that same thing a few weeks back. Now, I know this is an expression that is used in gest sometimes, and maybe I shouldn't take it too seriously, but it bothers me. He acts so bizarre sometimes and unstable that I honestly am not sure I feel entirely physically safe around him. He acts even more bizarre around others too, but I am not sure he would say such a comment like "I will cut you" to a higher ranking person. I'm sure others are aware of it too, and probably my boss is too. But his behavior puzzles me. He's a gay man also, and I sometimes get a creepy vibe that maybe he'd want to crush on me or something (ew). But these comments telling me he'll "cut me", even in jest, are inappropriate and highly creepy. As of now, I'm going to take my mom's advice and try and avoid him altogether, and just stay away from him, but the creep factor is high. I hate any drama, and for the most part he leaves me alone, but I don't like threats, of any kind. It kind of pisses me off. I totally understand that some people have issues, but there needs to be a line you don't cross at work, and making slicing gestures with your fingers make me highly paranoid. There's something wrong with him and he needs to be on some kind of medication if he isn't already.

 

[OkRad]

Holy crap!!! Tell someone is case something happens. That is just scary!!!! I don't know who to tell, though. A close friend? Keep pepper srpay with you all the time?!!

 

[Robby]

I really don't think he's dangerous, just he's really weird and creepy acting. He's that way with most of my co workers too, although I'm not sure he's said similar things to them, but who knows. I think he has some form of major mental illness. He's been here a few months, guess I'm used to it, it's a law firm believe it or not, but lately his moods seem more erratic. The older women he works with in medical records don't seem to have any major problem with him (at least that I can see but who knows), but I'm just going to start ignoring him altogether and staying away from him as best I can. I'll just try and avoid any one on one interactions with him. However, if he says something like that again directed at me, I will probably tell my boss just to be safe. I'm pretty sure she's well aware that he has some pretty major issues. The other day, we had a potluck in the work room, and he proceeded to tell someone about his dental procedure and get this..took his partial plate out and handled one of the serving spoons after putting it back in his mouth. I was absolutely appalled.

 

[nowwhat]

Tell him that anything even remotely threatening from him will be taken completely seriously and reported formally. And be ready for cowards reprisals.

 

[the_tortoise]

Based on your description I can't help but wonder if your coworker might have Tourette's.....there are forms of it that involve complex motor and verbal tics, some of which can be very vulgar and rude or downright scary, but don't reflect a person's actual state of mind, mood, or intentions and are not communication towards anyone even though they can be misinterpreted as such -- they are involuntary. (I know people can have some degree of control over their tics, but it's not absolute control, and it has limits....I suspect it's sort of like how you can stop yourself from breathing -- you have some control, but it's not absolute, and it's very difficult to maintain. Your body will force you to start breathing again, eventually.)

I do think you should talk to your boss, though....if your coworker does have a tic disorder that explains his alarming comments and behavior, I imagine she would be able to offer you some kind of expanation or reassurance.

And if his comments and behavior are truly communicative and totally voluntary and intentional, it's something she should know about, anyways.

 

[Alcyon]

I'll add my voice to the chorus: threats of violence aren't to be taken lightly and should be reported immediately. Period. And if you aren't happy with how that goes, uttering threats is a criminal offense in pretty much every location; if you are really concerned, call the police. I've seen that happen twice at my last job, I can assure the cops take it very seriously.

It is not compassionate to allow wildly inappropriate, potentially dangerous behaviour to go unchecked. But it does take more than a little strength to initiate the action to bring to an end; good luck.

 

[Full Steam]

By ignoring abuse you may abuse the abuser.

People need feedback and steering at times, and they need to know what's not appropriate.

 

[ksheehan88]

I also wonder if your co worker may have tourettes - that was the first thing that popped into my head... Likelihood is he would know, as verbal and physical tics are very noticeable and I couldn't imagine someone going through their life and not thinking "woah, this is weird, I should get that checked out".

I would still mention it, both to him and management, and tell them its made you uncomfortable.

 

[xudo]

Based on your description I can't help but wonder if your coworker might have Tourette's.....there are forms of it that involve complex motor and verbal tics, some of which can be very vulgar and rude or downright scary, but don't reflect a person's actual state of mind, mood, or intentions and are not communication towards anyone even though they can be misinterpreted as such -- they are involuntary. (I know people can have some degree of control over their tics, but it's not absolute control, and it has limits....I suspect it's sort of like how you can stop yourself from breathing -- you have some control, but it's not absolute, and it's very difficult to maintain. Your body will force you to start breathing again, eventually.)

I'd like to second this. I have Tourettes, and when I read the bit where the OP said he did like a high pitched squeal, my first thought was welp I've done that before.

the_tortoise the best way I can describe it is like forcing yourself to not blink. You can do it, but eventually you begin to get the sensation in your eyes that they REALLY want to blink, and it just gets worse and worse until you finally give in and do it.

I do think you should talk to your boss, though....if your coworker does have a tic disorder that explains his alarming comments and behavior, I imagine she would be able to offer you some kind of expanation or reassurance.

And if his comments and behavior are truly communicative and totally voluntary and intentional, it's something she should know about, anyways.

I also have to agree with this too, you're obviously really creeped out by this guy, and that should be addressed, no matter the reason for his behaviour.

 

[Katherine Rawstron]

I'm no expert, but it sounds like Tourette's syndrome to me. In an ideal world, your Line Manager would have had everybody in a room and explained the situation to you; but the reality is, (s)he is not allowed to discuss people's medical conditions, or any other personal problems for that matter, with anybody else. So this man is going around doing these strange things, and nobody is allowed to talk about it unless he opens up and tells you himself.

He may not realise that nobody's been told about his condition (assuming, of course, that I'm correct on this), or may assume you've all sussed it out by now as it's so plainly obvious. But although it's obvious he has a problem, a lot of you in the office may not have the slightest clue what on Earth it is if you've never heard of it or come across it before.

I don't know the best way of dealing with this, except to bear in mind that the comments, though extremely unpleasant, are not personal. Maybe a meeting where you all gather in said room and he "comes out" voluntarily will clear the air, and give people the opportunity to ask questions, may be in order; but if he doesn't agree to this, or your boss doesn't, there's not much you can do I'm afraid.

 

[Robby]

I am pretty sure that others notice his behavior and probably (maybe) have talked to the boss about it although I'm not sure. I'm not sure what's wrong with him, if it's Tourette's, but I suspect it's more than that. I heard him telling someone that he had bipolar and other mental issues that he takes meds for, and I heard him telling this person that he vomited on a friend of his when he had to tell her of a breakdown he had. So he clearly has major mental illness. He acts like a man child at times, and others seems to drag around morosely and barely says a word to anyone. Other's he acts like he's high or bouncing off the walls. I'm pretty sure he's harmless, but it's creepy and his verbal outbursts are bizarre. The other day I was talking with some female co workers and he just began to talk weird jibberish and the awkward factor is pretty high.

I don't like his comments that he made to me, they still creep me out, but having worked around him for a few months, I think he's harmless, but my patience is wearing thin. As of now my inclination is to wait and see if he says something in front of myself and another co worker, so I'd have corroboration if I did ever go to my boss. She's a pretty astute, savvy lady, so I'm pretty sure he's made her aware of whatever mental issues he has so she probably already knows. Because anyone who meets this guy would be able to tell within a few minutes that he's not playing on all cylinders. I'm going to try and avoid him. The creepy factor is very high. And the way he acts with other employees, just his overall comportment, is so weird that I know I'm not the only one who've been weirded out. Although I'm not sure if he told others "I'll cut you". I'm going to take my friends' advice, avoid him, try and only be around him when others are present, and eventually I might discretely go to my boss and express my concern about him. I'm only a part time employee here, so don't want to to rock any boats but still.