How to be Likeable.

[DaisyRose]

I’m always nice and respectful to anyone I meet. I love to make conversation with other people and make them feel comfortable. I feel like it’s rare these days to treat people how you want to be treated. Mostly, people are so bland and stupid. I always say be nice until it’s time to not be nice.

 

[Cryptid]

The mere fact that two (or more) people have the same or similar ideas does not prove that even one plagiarized another.

The soundness of the ideas is not affected by your doubts, either.

 

[Mr. Stevens]

Brianna Wiest "12 Qualities..." plagiarized Travis Bradberry "13 Habits..." They're the same article! Seriously, who would independently write an article where "They put away their phones" would be a thing for two different writers? Haha.

I could easily see two people listing to put away your phones. They're prevalent and a great distraction to connecting in-person.

 

[VictorR]

I could easily see two people listing to put away your phones. They're prevalent and a great distraction to connecting in-person.

On Amtrak cross country train dining cars, staff explicitly ask that aside from taking photos that phones should be put away / not used as one should be enjoying the camaraderie, conversations, scenery, and food.

(Note: Seating is in tables of four and small groups share tables. It's a neat way to meet and chat with random fellow travelers)

 

[Lightswitch411]

The mere fact that two (or more) people have the same or similar ideas does not prove that even one plagiarized another.

The soundness of the ideas is not affected by your doubts, either.

You're gaslighting me by making up that I expressed doubts about the soundness of the ideas or that it was my intent to affect the soundness of the ideas by my doubts (which I did not express).
I made absolutely no remark about the traits in the list.

Yes, "Putting away their phone" is way too coincidental, to appear in a very short list, that it couldn't be anything but plagiarism . But I'm not going to follow you down that rabbit hole of unnecessary denial or argue it further.

Please feel free to ignore my future comments in this forum.

 

[Cryptid]

No gaslighting at all. Impugning the integrity of the articles to which I posted links casts doubt upon their soundness. Whether this was intentional or not is a moot point.

Besides, an "Argument from Incredulity" is rarely ever successful with me. Neither is condescension.

 

[AprilR]

Lists like this make me feel like life and making friends is a competition that you have to win.

I mean for sure there are certain things you have to keep in mind when socializing, but making a list and actually making it a mission to be "likeable" is strange to me. Not everyone is likable by society's standards, not everyone has to like each other either. Bc people are all different and no matter how good of a person you are there will be ppl who hate your guts for no reason.

I don't mean to be contrary, but i just wanted to share my thoughts and experiences.
I am saying this is as a person who made it my mission to be likable in the past. And i kind of hate that person now, bc i lost my identity in the process.

And reading this i felt sorry for the people who might feel they are unlikable by nature and try to change themselves to fit some ideal.

I also get the idea that some people, are actually rude and selfish, and them having problems is the fault of their bad behavior. But autistic people i know and met here, and irl too are different from that.

 

[Judge]

IMO there is no true sense of basic likeability because all humans carry positive- and negative traits and behaviors, regardless of neurological considerations. Reflecting that ultimately we all are individuals.

The same reason one person can adore you, while another person may detest you. Conversely how some opposites can attract one another. However if everyone negatively reacts to you in a similar fashion, that's when one must consider changing their method of interacting with others if they want to change the equation. Though changing one's behavior does not imply some kind of inherent metamorphosis from a caterpillar to a butterfly, either.

With no guarantees of any proven method to determine how people will magically gravitate towards you. That seems more within the realm of fantasy to me. Unless of course you are the next Dale Carnegie or Tony Robbins and your income depends on people buying into such theories.

I mask my autistic traits and behaviors basically to avoid negative social interactions. To go along, specifically to get along. No more, no less. Not to blossom into some kind of Prince Charming I can never truly- or honestly be.

 

[Tony Ramirez]

I tell you how to not be likable, don't smile, look miserable and don't groom yourself.

I got a haircut yesterday and groomed myself. Felt better and smiled. Looked happier. Was approached by two women at the park social. The other woman asked if you remember me. I kind of did. She saw I was sitting alone but I was smiling. We talked for over 10 minutes. That's how you become likeable. Not like I was the past weeks. That turns away people.

 

[Cryptid]

Yup. Fifth from the bottom of my list is "They smile".

The last one is "They work on improving themselves"; I should have detailed this one, but appearance and hygiene are things to improve.

 

[NoKipAr on the run]

I'm personally always stuck on square one: talking to someone.
which I know I can do better than, But I have two women in my phone text contacts and they're ghosting me. I don't fricking get it.

 

[Cryptid]

I ghost people because they are unpleasant speak and be with.