How long did it take for you to accept you were autistic?

[LZapperO]

I've realised a part of the condition for me is that I need other people for motivation. Everything except basic survival. I need to love (not be loved) to do more.

 

[WereBear]

It took about two minutes.

The suspicion came from reading about a man with late diagnosed Asperger's whose sensory issues were just like mine! And I said to myself, "Gee, I have sensory issues like someone with Asperger's."

Then I was explaining something online and a special education teacher said, "That is something that will really help my autism students," and I thought, "Interesting. I must have an insight into this mindset."

So I went to learn more about it, hit the Feminine Aspie Checklist, and I KNEW. That's me.

https://everydayaspie.wordpress.com...pergers-syndrome-checklist-by-samantha-craft/

It explains so much.

Which is why I was so careful to choose the right person to make my official diagnosis. Because I have great eye contact and high social skills for an NT, even. Because I walked and talked early. Because I'm female.

A careless diagnostician is going to look at that and say, "Next!"

I think a lot of us late-diagnosis folks are like that. We are Very High Functioning Autistics, perhaps. Doesn't mean we don't have the special brain configuration, does it? In fact, what it seems to mean is that we are able to fake it so well even we don't know.

I think the biggest danger is for us to internalize the misconceptions and ignorance of the society at large. Which sadly includes a lot of medical professionals. When I started focusing on my amazing capabilities, and arranging my life in ways where I either avoided stress, or found a way to cope with it, I started getting better and better, health-wise.

Because I was heading for a nervous breakdown. And I would have gotten a bunch of psychiatric medicine that won't work in my body and brain (because I tried and it stopped working in about two months) and they would have thrown up their hands and I would have been one of the Lost.

There isn't anything wrong with us. That is my biggest conclusion. Trying to be something we are not is our biggest barrier.

So we should not do that.

 

[Ylva]

My father says he brought it up when I was eleven or twelve, but I don't remember that. He brought it up again when I was eighteen, and when I was twenty-five I finally accepted it. That's all due to stigma; I felt like my life didn't need to be any harder.

 

[NateSean]

I never accepted the label they forced on me. I don't accept it now. I've just learned to stop trying to convince people that the sky is blue when they are certain that it's red.

Do I have issued that make life with others challenging? Certainly. Do I fit into a larger group of people who have similar traits? Maybe. Do I consider that a disability? No.

This is what the world does to you. It applies a word to you because heaven forbid we be individuals with individual needs, thoughts, opinions, and varying levels of adaptability.

I've never understood why I needed a word applied to me. It never gave me any advantages in the world, to have this word attached to my name. It was forced on me for the convenience of others.

 

[Jerry]

I was surprised at first to discover that I'm on the spectrum, when I stumbled onto the traits that many females have. After I read the lists of indicators, it was an explanation for my entire life up to that point. Had lived in the neurotypical world and began to realize that I didn't have to 'placate' anymore.

Finding out about Asperger's has made me less 'hard' on myself, I'm no longer stressed and anxious about everything that should happen or be. My stress levels have gone down noticeably, my ulcers healed, (only in the NT world do things escalate) no longer a perfectionist or obsessive about what other people think. It took me less than two months to embrace the idea wholeheartedly.

I'm proud to be an Aspie, it accounts for many things I've accomplished in my life with little help. Along with genetics and other factors it accounts for my intelligence, my focus, determination, independence and my talents.

Yo!!!

 

[Jerry]

Took me about 6 months to accept my daughter's dx. I saw her as "normal." After all, she acted just the way I did.... (just the way I was!), then it all began to click and the realizations set in. She and I, we're beautiful aspies! We live in a loud house (three young kids)! It can be tough, two of us, but I'm glad I'm there to help "translate" her behavior to others at home.

 

[peoplesrjames]

I'm still grappling with it. I find myself looking for differences rather than commonalities. I used to go to an aspie meetup and decided that it wasn't for me because I couldn't compare myself with the people there.

 

[paloftoon]

I don't think I've fully accepted until now. It took me 11 years since I received my diagnosis. During this 11 years, I wasn't able to level with most others on the spectrum. The few that I could, they had there own interests and/or quirks that were incompatible to mine.

Lately, I've been experiencing a slew of emotions through making many social interaction mistakes in such a short period of time. I'm trying to write a "book" for self-therapeutic reasons, but in a way I'd like to turn it into a real book even if online only. I am a long way from that though.

 

[AspieDylan]

I had a different experience to a lot of the people in this thread. I accepted it almost instantly.

I had a basic understanding of what Aspergers was, but when I looked further into it everything just "clicked." Things finally made sense to me and I was so happy about that.

 

[zurb]

If you haven't already, read Tony Attwood's 'The complete guide to Aspergers'.
And then read Ian Ford's 'A field guide to Earthlings'.
For many aspies, reading the first is like reading a biography. After reading this, I couldn't deny it. Didn't want it, but couldn't deny it. It just made too much sense.
Reading the second, you'll probably think NTs are really messed up, and will be glad to be a reasonable aspie/autie instead.

 

[LittleLemon]

It took months to accept my daughter's. I took the AQ test around that time to prove to myself that anyone could be diagnosed with ASD. When I got a 42, I laughed and said, "see! Even I could be diagnosed!" Over time, things just started falling into place. The clincher was reading "Nerdy, Shy, and Socially Inappropriate" by Cynthia Kim. I felt like I was reading about myself and I cried in relief after almost every chapter. The second clincher was when I found this forum and felt like crying out, "my people!!" It's such a relief to relate to other people instead of asking NTs and the answer always being, 'no, I don't ever think or do ____. You're weird.'

 

[lemonie]

i have a love- hate relationship with my diagnosis as I do with everything in my life. I think in extremes and black and white and there is no middle for me, so some days its like i have nothing at all, other days when the slightest thing like a misunderstanding or me not picking up something simple happens, I break down. Sometimes I try to convince myself I am like this because of other issues and maybe therapy will sort it out, then when I think back to things like my imagination and rigidity issues, I see it as fitting in.

Its something ive contemplated for a few years, so surprised I am not, relived I am somewhat and angry to another degree. - its a mixed thing really :/

 

[joellelynn]

I recieved my diagnosis last year but my PSY told me about the/my signs long before. So i guess when i got the diagnosis i already accepted it and i'm happy my 'special kind of being ' finally has a name

 

[Telsa]

I'm not sure that I truly have accepted it. Not that I'm ashamed of it and desperately want it to not be so, but when things are going "right" or when I'm seemingly doing well with people and certain situations, I think, "Am I really autistic? No way...it can't be, can it? Look how well I'm doing with such and such..."

And then I crash back down to earth and reality sets in, and then I accept, for a time, what and who I am. But then the process repeats itself all over again. It's draining.

 

[Southern Discomfort]

If you haven't already, read Tony Attwood's 'The complete guide to Aspergers'.
And then read Ian Ford's 'A field guide to Earthlings'.
For many aspies, reading the first is like reading a biography. After reading this, I couldn't deny it. Didn't want it, but couldn't deny it. It just made too much sense.
Reading the second, you'll probably think NTs are really messed up, and will be glad to be a reasonable aspie/autie instead.

Yeah, I've got a copy of Tony Attwood's book that I've fully read. Some bits made sense, other's just didn't. It was too scattered in that book to make a cohesive answer from. I'll have a look at A Field Guide to Earthlings. See if that makes more sense, there are some things that people do which make them seem so damn worried of other people's opinions or they read too much crap into socialising that it makes me think I can't do with that, having a limited amount of friends is just better.

 

[Kirsty]

Not long. A few months, roughly. My life suddenly made sense and I got the support I needed at college at the time.

 

[Bellatrix]

I don't have Autism, I have Asperger's, there's a BIG difference.

That's how I see it as well. I associate autism with uncontrolled temper-tantrums, extreme sensitivity to certain lights and sounds, an inability to communicate effectively, a complete inability to control emotions, and a complete dependence upon others for the accomplishment of basic tasks, whereas those with Asperger's Syndrome can look after themselves, have a higher than normal level of cognitive development, can debate with the best, have rather mild sensory issues and so on. The DSM-V is just a book, a guide that only applies within the country within which it is published (the U.S.), and I would take the personal testimony of those who actually have to live with Asperger's Syndrome any day over the views of a bunch of unknown corporate zealots who are just trying to make everyone feel 'abnormal' so they can push and sell the latest drugs to 'treat' whatever it is that is supposed to be wrong with us. Clumping Asperger's Syndrome with autism is, to me, just one more attempt to inflate the number of people who have, in the view of "Autism Speaks", an unspeakable illness that destroys families (and other such crap), and which therefore should be cured. The words 'Asperger's Syndrome' don't sound sinister enough, but 'autism' gets all the alarm bells ringing.

 

[Jerry]

Yeah, I've got a copy of Tony Attwood's book that I've fully read. Some bits made sense, other's just didn't. It was too scattered in that book to make a cohesive answer from. I'll have a look at A Field Guide to Earthlings. See if that makes more sense, there are some things that people do which make them seem so damn worried of other people's opinions or they read too much crap into socialising that it makes me think I can't do with that, having a limited amount of friends is just better.

I just ordered the field guide on Amazon. It seems like it doesn't put too much into it, but had a lighter view of things. We are who we are, they are who they are, and we'll all just do the best they can. Fuhgedaboutit!

 

[toothless]

That's how I see it as well. I associate autism with uncontrolled temper-tantrums, extreme sensitivity to certain lights and sounds, an inability to communicate effectively, a complete inability to control emotions, and a complete dependence upon others for the accomplishment of basic tasks, whereas those with Asperger's Syndrome can look after themselves, have a higher than normal level of cognitive development, can debate with the best, have rather mild sensory issues and so on. The DSM-V is just a book, a guide that only applies within the country within which it is published (the U.S.), and I would take the personal testimony of those who actually have to live with Asperger's Syndrome any day over the views of a bunch of unknown corporate zealots who are just trying to make everyone feel 'abnormal' so they can push and sell the latest drugs to 'treat' whatever it is that is supposed to be wrong with us. Clumping Asperger's Syndrome with autism is, to me, just one more attempt to inflate the number of people who have, in the view of "Autism Speaks", an unspeakable illness that destroys families (and other such crap), and which therefore should be cured. The words 'Asperger's Syndrome' don't sound sinister enough, but 'autism' gets all the alarm bells ringing.

have you researched classic autism? it isnt as bad as you think.
every one with it is different,einstein had a significant speech delay,and was thought to be classic autistic [despite the many who like to associate him with aspergers because he was clever which is an insult to classic autists,classic autism can come with the lowest IQ to the highest IQ and its harder to judge for IQ anyway as so many of us have communication difficulties].
i have low functioning classic autism and dont have tantrums;rather i have what the care and behavioral industry calls challenging behavior which is communication through frustration,anxiety and other feelings and i have what we as a worldwide community call meltdowns.
yes i need help with everything from putting on my clothes to writing to cooking to cleaning to understanding and information processing and i have to have 24 hr care,up until january this year i had had 2-1 support to.
but i am not the monster autism speaks and others likes to make me out.
i am a caring person who will help anyone and is passionate about animals and loves his nieces despite having had to learn how to have a relationship with them.

i relate to a lot of aspies in some ways,i love computers and like fixing them,im just a super intense version of aspergers and i see the world more rigidly-theres no need to seperate the spectrum,and see one form of autism as better than the other.


as for the original topic,i have never been bothered by having labels as i am in my own head all the time and have no care for names,the only time i was upset was when i found out i had mental retardation in my current diagnosis papers instead of the UK definition of learning disability;i had been rediagnosed under the DSM-i hate the word retardation as we are not slow we just process the world differently.

 

[Nitro]

have you researched classic autism? it isnt as bad as you think.
every one with it is different,einstein had a significant speech delay,and was thought to be classic autistic [despite the many who like to associate him with aspergers because he was clever which is an insult to classic autists,classic autism can come with the lowest IQ to the highest IQ and its harder to judge for IQ anyway as so many of us have communication difficulties].
i have low functioning classic autism and dont have tantrums;rather i have what the care and behavioral industry calls challenging behavior which is communication through frustration,anxiety and other feelings and i have what we as a worldwide community call meltdowns.
yes i need help with everything from putting on my clothes to writing to cooking to cleaning to understanding and information processing and i have to have 24 hr care,up until january this year i had had 2-1 support to.
but i am not the monster autism speaks and others likes to make me out.
i am a caring person who will help anyone and is passionate about animals and loves his nieces despite having had to learn how to have a relationship with them.

i relate to a lot of aspies in some ways,i love computers and like fixing them,im just a super intense version of aspergers and i see the world more rigidly-theres no need to seperate the spectrum,and see one form of autism as better than the other.


as for the original topic,i have never been bothered by having labels as i am in my own head all the time and have no care for names,the only time i was upset was when i found out i had mental retardation in my current diagnosis papers instead of the UK definition of learning disability;i had been rediagnosed under the DSM-i hate the word retardation as we are not slow we just process the world differently.

I get a little tired of those lines of utter nonsense myself. I fell into the classic category as a result of speech delays. A dumbass? I don't think so.

You are correct about measuring intelligence as well. IQ testing is based on a barometer set by those who want to compare one human being to another. Some individuals have islands of genius,for instance a musical savant who may not function as well as many children in other areas and is defined as profoundly autistic.I got a savant label and even question it myself.In fact,I question ALL of the psychological labels,not just the ones pertaining to autism.

I have brought up in the past that there would be no way for people to know exactly what was going on inside a non-verbal autie's mind if they couldn't convey their thoughts in words.Maybe they are at a much different level beyond where the norm is considered as the baseline. My test scores on this matter placed me in the very upper echelon of those scales I might add and I am considered classically autistic.Like knocking on the door next to Einstein's estimated figures high.

My time spent here has been very interesting as I watch so many come and go. We have people from around the world that can turn their thoughts into English language and our cross section here is not representative of the entire autism spectrum. I stumbled across my version by accident.Nobody would have ever guessed I was autie looking back on it,they only knew I was that crank moody guy had something special to offer and exploited it during my employment. By the way,my talents took me to the top of the corporate ladder a few times as a result of being on the spectrum.Not bad for that freaky,geeky skinny kid with the bad attitude that always played with racecars, motorcycles,airplanes and machinery.

It does astound me how many that are considered aspie require support for daily functioning. Maybe we better talk about the flaws in the functioning labels so we can better sort all of this out.Maybe they should scrap the entire psych world's flawed craft and start over.Na,that would never work,it would put a lot of people out on the sidewalk,and I don't mean the people who require their services either.

I never required any intervention from the psych world until I splattered my brains out on a sidewalk.It was actually forced on me,so I had no choice in the matter That was when my real education to what I consider a black art began.So far,I haven't been impressed

Rant over,but is it really