AuroraBorealis
Well-Known Member
Oh my god. I struggle with cleaning and keeping stuff organized so much, I actually consider it my biggest issue related to my autism. I suspect some ADHD traits in this particular area. The ironic thing is that my notebooks and uni/school-related notes and stuff were always obsessively meticulous. Somehow, I can't keep the same organization on paper as in real life.
My luck is that my partner is radical when it comes to stuff we don't need. He's not extreme in cleanliness and tidyness, I'd say, he tolerates a "normal" amount of everyday mess. But when he cleans and throws stuff out, it's ruthless. When we didn't live together yet, I'd have a mental breakdown once every few months because I couldn't deal with the chaos surrounding me anymore, and at the same time being paralyzed and couldn't clean it up myself. He'd come over and spend 2 days with me vigorously cleaning and throwing out stuff, telling me exactly what we need to do. Now that we live together, I'm still struggling with keeping up with my part of cleaning. He still does a lot of it. But after some advice I got here on this forum, I made myself a cleaning schedule according to advice for people with ADHD. I wrote down all of my tasks on a list, in very small tasks (like "clean sink", "clean nightstand"). Then, I sorted them into "daily", "2-3 times per week", and so on. Then, I drew a weekly schedule, with different colors and everything. It really helped my motivation because it looks like something I can actually do. I'll see if it works long term, but so far, it helped me a lot. Of course, I absolutely love creating schedules and that kind of stuff...
So maybe you know a close and trusted person you could ask to help you once every few months to radically declutter? I know, it feels awful (at least to me), but sometimes, we just need some help and that's okay.
With paperwork, I do the following: I directly throw away envelopes and only keep the actual documents, that already diminishes things a bir. I have a pile on my desk with things I need to react to (like bills). Important information goes into my "important documents" folder (which isn't sorted, but once a year or so I take it and sort it out). Once a bill is paid, it goes into the trash. I have a box right next to my desk where I throw paper for the trash (because the trash is in the kitchen and I made the experience that I won't get up straight away to throw it away, and then I forget about it). Once the box is full, I throw the paper inside it out (without looking at it again, since I already did).
Now, I still sometimes get heaps of paperwork that make me desperate, but it's less often than before. I feel like it's easier for me to do a sort of pre-organizing in everyday life (like this trash-box or the "important documents" folder, because it's easy and quick and helps keeping my everyday places fairly tidy. Once in a while, when I have a motivational surge, I take one of those boxes or folders and organize them too.
Oh, and I try to use motivational surges as much as possible, once I have them. Like right now: For some reason, suddenly I managed to clean up the entire cluttered table in our bedroom, something I've been dreading for ages. Once the surge wears off, well, that's okay then. But I really try to get the most of it.
Also, I listen to audiobooks while cleaning. I feel like this keeps my thoughts calm and gives them some direction. Music distracts me, lifts my spirits but slows me down when I clean, so I only do it in very organized tasks, like cleaning the dishes (something where I don't have to move around the room, it has a clear structure and I don't find it too bad).
My luck is that my partner is radical when it comes to stuff we don't need. He's not extreme in cleanliness and tidyness, I'd say, he tolerates a "normal" amount of everyday mess. But when he cleans and throws stuff out, it's ruthless. When we didn't live together yet, I'd have a mental breakdown once every few months because I couldn't deal with the chaos surrounding me anymore, and at the same time being paralyzed and couldn't clean it up myself. He'd come over and spend 2 days with me vigorously cleaning and throwing out stuff, telling me exactly what we need to do. Now that we live together, I'm still struggling with keeping up with my part of cleaning. He still does a lot of it. But after some advice I got here on this forum, I made myself a cleaning schedule according to advice for people with ADHD. I wrote down all of my tasks on a list, in very small tasks (like "clean sink", "clean nightstand"). Then, I sorted them into "daily", "2-3 times per week", and so on. Then, I drew a weekly schedule, with different colors and everything. It really helped my motivation because it looks like something I can actually do. I'll see if it works long term, but so far, it helped me a lot. Of course, I absolutely love creating schedules and that kind of stuff...
So maybe you know a close and trusted person you could ask to help you once every few months to radically declutter? I know, it feels awful (at least to me), but sometimes, we just need some help and that's okay.
With paperwork, I do the following: I directly throw away envelopes and only keep the actual documents, that already diminishes things a bir. I have a pile on my desk with things I need to react to (like bills). Important information goes into my "important documents" folder (which isn't sorted, but once a year or so I take it and sort it out). Once a bill is paid, it goes into the trash. I have a box right next to my desk where I throw paper for the trash (because the trash is in the kitchen and I made the experience that I won't get up straight away to throw it away, and then I forget about it). Once the box is full, I throw the paper inside it out (without looking at it again, since I already did).
Now, I still sometimes get heaps of paperwork that make me desperate, but it's less often than before. I feel like it's easier for me to do a sort of pre-organizing in everyday life (like this trash-box or the "important documents" folder, because it's easy and quick and helps keeping my everyday places fairly tidy. Once in a while, when I have a motivational surge, I take one of those boxes or folders and organize them too.
Oh, and I try to use motivational surges as much as possible, once I have them. Like right now: For some reason, suddenly I managed to clean up the entire cluttered table in our bedroom, something I've been dreading for ages. Once the surge wears off, well, that's okay then. But I really try to get the most of it.
Also, I listen to audiobooks while cleaning. I feel like this keeps my thoughts calm and gives them some direction. Music distracts me, lifts my spirits but slows me down when I clean, so I only do it in very organized tasks, like cleaning the dishes (something where I don't have to move around the room, it has a clear structure and I don't find it too bad).
