Valily
Member
Hello, I want to clarify immediately that "the conversation" isn't referring to making friends.
How do I start the conversations? The tough talks?
In a lot of social contexts I have a lot of difficulty approaching serious and heated subjects, this usually leads me to never talk about things that may need talking about. And I also have a tendency (which I am trying to change) to withdrawn from friends even if I really want to be with them. All this to say that I feel very out-of-the-loop when it comes to things that happens among my friends, and I also have a hard time confronting anyone about anything ever. While it's not something I am proud to admit, I get really scared that, if I try to take a step forward, everything in the delicate social balance will crumble like a house of cards. I have a lot of bad memories attached to fighting and emotionally-intense moments.
It is relevant to say that there most likely won't be another person who takes the first step in any of the situations that I'm in, rocky family relationships and friends that are also diagnosed and have similar issues.
I understand it's not my responsibility to fix stuff that happens between my friends, BUT I AM WORRIED. I am really worried about how they feel, I am really worried about what might happen in the future if it keeps going like this, and I am really worried that we might never be able to be that close-knit group of buddies we were ( of course my "closeness" can be disputed, but we were still all on good terms).
I do not wanna drag on for too long nor get into too many specifics, I've gotten advice from my brother about how to handle this specific situation, but I know they'll come again in the future.
Just wanted to ask anyone here for any strategies on how to have those difficult talks and how to handle it if it gets heated. And also vent a bit.
Thank you for your time.
How do I start the conversations? The tough talks?
In a lot of social contexts I have a lot of difficulty approaching serious and heated subjects, this usually leads me to never talk about things that may need talking about. And I also have a tendency (which I am trying to change) to withdrawn from friends even if I really want to be with them. All this to say that I feel very out-of-the-loop when it comes to things that happens among my friends, and I also have a hard time confronting anyone about anything ever. While it's not something I am proud to admit, I get really scared that, if I try to take a step forward, everything in the delicate social balance will crumble like a house of cards. I have a lot of bad memories attached to fighting and emotionally-intense moments.
It is relevant to say that there most likely won't be another person who takes the first step in any of the situations that I'm in, rocky family relationships and friends that are also diagnosed and have similar issues.
I understand it's not my responsibility to fix stuff that happens between my friends, BUT I AM WORRIED. I am really worried about how they feel, I am really worried about what might happen in the future if it keeps going like this, and I am really worried that we might never be able to be that close-knit group of buddies we were ( of course my "closeness" can be disputed, but we were still all on good terms).
I do not wanna drag on for too long nor get into too many specifics, I've gotten advice from my brother about how to handle this specific situation, but I know they'll come again in the future.
Just wanted to ask anyone here for any strategies on how to have those difficult talks and how to handle it if it gets heated. And also vent a bit.
Thank you for your time.