How do I describe myself politely, now that there is no Asperger Syndrome?

[Aspieistj]

I have always felt "high functioning" was a cruel way to exclude myself from those with profound Autism, so I have never used HF when explaining myself to NTs. However, most people envision autistics as severely affected people who aren't able to be independent in society, and often are savants. Am I not supposed to describe where on the spectrum I find myself? When I choose to tell anyone I am on the spectrum it is because I suspect they think I am odd and annoying. I then want them to know I am not being deliberately bothersome but I do want them to know that I have been and am able to live alone, manage my own affairs and have been successful as a teacher and an RN. I don't wish to be singled out as profoundly handicapped or frighten people. However, I lived more than 60 years believing I was a little different, but not someone with an affliction. Now, my goal is to educate the public so people accept that many Autistics are among the general public and want to be accepted as contributing members of society. I wish all kids who are on the spectrum are identified early and receive help in adjusting to living among NTs and be accepted.

 

[Ste11aeres]

I think the correct term right now is "Autism Spectrum Disorder."

 

[Soup]

Hi Aspiestj. Early identification can be life-changing for Aspie kids. The thing is that kids with more profound forms of Autism are more visible & show clearly identifiable symptoms that leave little doubt regarding diagnosis. Many Aspie kids can hide in plain sight. some can mimic well & appear quite normal (esp. our girls) to the casual observer. Many parents with an Aspie kid know nothing of Asperger's & would see their child as merely odd or introverted. This is especially true if theirs is an Aspie who does not disrupt in school, speaks articulately & gets good grades. The line between Aspie & NT can be a fine one with much cross-over wherein people who are NTs show many Aspie traits just as some Aspies show NT traits in some areas. What we could use are much better tools for detecting possible Aspie kids so that they can be identified early. By tools I obviously don't mean a hand held reader that goes BLEEP if it detects an Aspie, but diagnostic tools. Right now, few teachers are trained to spot potential Asperger's students in their elementary classes. Conditions such as ADHD cause so much disruption that less disruptive students often are not noticed despite the fact that they may be struggling. Especially if their grades are good as is often the case with Aspies. Being a teacher with an Aspie dx, I am better at this but often neither the parents nor the school is receptive to this kind of suspicion. More often than not, parents do not want to even consider the possibility that their child may be on the spectrum.

 

[Ylva]

Try reframing it. It has a huge impact on how NTs perceive things.

 

[Judge]

Many Aspie kids can hide in plain sight. some can mimic well & appear quite normal (esp. our girls) to the casual observer. Many parents with an Aspie kid know nothing of Asperger's & would see their child as merely odd or introverted. This is especially true if theirs is an Aspie who does not disrupt in school, speaks articulately & gets good grades.

That's me- to a tee. It still comes as quite a shock to me as I fit so profoundly into a category of autistic behavior that I spent a lifetime assuming was merely my personality. To be perfectly honest, I don't seem to be handling it very well. It has me rather depressed, although I suffer from chronic depression anyways, along with mild OCD.

Looking back on my life I feel I could have made a difference had I understood this all at a much earlier time. Consequently my life has been one long struggle in things that virtually everyone else seemed to just skate by. At least now I know the truth of it all.

For those of you fortunate to come to terms with what this is all about at a relatively early age, use it to your advantage as best you can. Don't struggle doing what you think is right according to a NT "playbook". Do what is right in your own heart and mind that makes you happy instead of lonely and frustrated.

 

[Soup]

That was me too in my school days too, Judge. In my family, I have a brother who is several years older & another who is much younger. My older brother was a real handful: a one kid 3 ring circus! What a catastrophe! compared to the ruckus he caused, I would have to have contracted Leprosy or spontaneously grown a conjoined twin before my parents would've noticed anything odd about me. My younger brother was quite young & needed a lot of hands-on care so I was kind of able to slip between the older one's 'berserker' tendencies & my younger one's toddler neediness. At school, I was really small & slim but I looked quite conventional so I was not the kid others targeted: there were more interesting prospects for that. Since my grades were good & I was articulate, no teacher sent letters home bemoaning my behaviour or performance.

I'm not sure what it would've changed had I known as a kid. In those days, it was probably better that I didn't have what would've been a stigmatizing label. Plus, even less was known about it then & consequently there were probably no resources.