How do I deal with autistic rage?

[BrokenBoy]

So I'm going through some tough life circumstances. It sucks and I get mad a lot and wanna hit people and break stuff. How do I deal with negative emotions? If I don't explode, then I get suicidal thoughts and want to kill myself. What do I do?

 

[Fino]

Are you able to join any sort of aggressive sport or activity, such as karate, boxing, wrestling, football etc.?

 

[BrokenBoy]

Are you able to join any sort of aggressive sport or activity, such as karate, boxing, wrestling, football etc.?

That stuff's so boring...

 

[Aneka]

Yes, you need to blow off steam. Sport and a structured day will help you. Try to indulge in something you love once day and see a mental health professional. You should also get some blood work done in case you lack nutrition.
Try to get some sun and supplement vitamin d. There are lamps on the market that imitate sun light.

 

[Aneka]

That stuff's so boring...

Once you bring yourself to do it, sport will make you feel better. Establish a schedule, train for a set amount of time like 2 or 3 times a week and don't use excuses. Even walking the treadmill helps (or jogging, running, talking a walk, bicycling) It might be difficult at first during training but you will feel like a new person afterwards. Exhausted, but pretty content. Your stamina and overall health will also improve, it's worth it.
I kind of neglected it and I'm currenly suffering the consequences, so don't be me lol.

 

[Skittlebisquit]

They are right. The emotions are part of the mind body spirit connection. Rage is your body screaming for exercise, saying to you 'please I need to run and workout'

Drugs dont work, meditation so so. Its totally ok to have violent thoughts when you are pushing the last mile on a twenty mile set on a bicycle. Regular exercise makes you instantly into a different person, more stable.

 

[Raggamuffin]

I like to throw my staff really high whilst condensing all that daily rage and desire to slap people into one point - which is my arm throwing the staff into the air. Over the years I've got better at manipulating the movement of the staff so that the momentum does most of the lift. Which means, when I really focus a lot of anger etc. behind that throw it goes 3-4 stories high. Everyone watching tends to freeze for a moment - as do I. Catches are the main way I mess up my hand.

Going outside can help ground me too. Nature and seeing wild animals etc. will bring a smile to my face. But I still find deep down I'm quite an angry and cantankerous old soul. It's highly situational - and it's people who are the trigger. When I'm in my own little world on weekends etc. I never get that angry. Unless I'm having to build flat pack furniture...

Long term depression and anxiety is a driving force too. As is the stigma we get being on the spectrum. I'm sure we can all recount numerous times when our behaviour made people mock. When that stuff gets internalised and you start feeling like you're not good enough - that sort of negativity festers and can start poisoning your mindset.

I think it's also anger through inaction. Masking all the time to try and fit in. Wanting to say what you feel, but fearing reprisal. So you sit and you mask and you pretend like these things don't bother you. But they do, and the longer you sit on it - the more you feel like a volcano that's about to erupt.

Ed

 

[Progster]

I find that a walk in the countryside helps to relieve feelings of frustration and tension. But I try to avoid triggers for these; I avoid activities that I know that in the past have caused me frustration or stress. Not always possible, but a brisk half hour walk helps a lot. If I can't go out, then I pace inside the house.

 

[Thinx]

If exercise is boring, maybe try playing music you enjoy as you do it. Start small with exercise and build up. Choose something you don't mind too much, like walking say. 15 minutes a couple of times a day. And build it up if you feel you can, gradually. This absolutely does work for helping dissipate difficult emotions.

If you are not used to exercise it can feel daunting at first, but be determined. Make sure you eat enough so you aren't hungry and uncomfortable. Have good stuff in your diet too, not all sugar of course.

If you start small and improve your fitness you may feel you want to progress to more training or fitness work, no one does it from a standing start, you can build up gradually and it really is effective to lessen distress anger and rage.

 

[Neonatal RRT]

Going to the gym. Sports when I was younger. Talking to someone who is just going to listen to you vent your frustrations. Taking a vacation,...even if it is a "stay-cation",...just taking some time for yourself for a few days. Getting good sleep. Eat healthy. We've got to take care of ourselves, both emotionally and physically,...probably more so than others.

I think most of us have, at some point, dealt with "autistic burnout",...we know it's more than just your typical "I'm tired and stressed". I think it's dealing with all the masking, the sensory issues, mental exhaustion, the psychological and psychiatric issues,...and it builds up over time,...creeps in. You're on this bit of a tight rope emotionally,..."Keep it together,...keep it together."...you keep repeating to yourself while you try to get out of whatever situation you are in. You deny that it's coming on. Then,...some tiny little comment,...just that one little thing,...full on meltdown. For me, it's almost like an out-of-body experience,...I will blow my vocal cords out,...can barely talk without pain for a few days. Embarrassing to loose control like that.

I haven't had any suicidal ideation, but none-the-less, you're not alone.

 

[Aspychata]

Sometimes if you wear yourself out, then you have no energy for anger. That's why we are suggesting exercise. It's boring at times, l get that because it's repetitious but at the same time you will vent some of the frustration you are dealing with. Running on the treadmill helped me cope with an ongoing situation l had zero control over. It also helped me get thru a divorce, l ran almost every day at the gym.

So do you like basketball? If you find an empty court, time yourself for 30 mins, just run around and shoot hoops, you will feel better after a week. That's exercise. Or get a bike, or join a gym. Some people like laps in the pool. Is there a municipal pool near you?

 

[Aspychata]

For anger, you have to acknowlege the anger. Your internal dialogue may go like this** l am feeling angry at this minute. Crap, why am l so angry? I feel angry because he or she said or did this, and it made me feel helpless, or frustrated or unloved or insecure or all the above. From there, you take a deep breath and aknowledge the anger and understand why you feel angry. I go one step more and ask myself can anything be done to alleviate what l am feeling? Like something l can say or do. Can l give myself a hug, a hot shower, a caring gesture that l am important and l do matter. So working thru anger is a process of your feeling and breaking down the root cause and then moving forward. This process actually helps you regulate your emotions and you will feel better having done the hard work needed without therapy.

 

[aspieoutlaw89]

Are you able to join any sort of aggressive sport or activity, such as karate, boxing, wrestling, football etc.?

karate.

 

[Suzette]

When my mind and body are already at the boiling point I used to go far out in the country and find a big stick and just wail at rocks, trees, the dirt...anything. All the while I would rant about what was on my mind.

When the initial "rage" was spent I would walk. Just walk. Sometimes fast, sometimes slow. I found walking to relieve my frustrations and gives you a nice endorphin high that helps to further dispell negative energy.

Doing both helped to free my mind up so I could solve whatever problem brought me to rage.

And if I had a particularly sticky problem, ranting out loud while driving was very soothing to my rage also.

 

[Skittlebisquit]

I train with sticks mostly. Its something like what @Raggamuffin does, similar tools at least, likely similar poses and hands. Mine is more oriented towards combat training. Shield and spear, short sticks, quarter staff, etc.

I first started martial arts at about ten or so I guess. The footwork and the study of the hands is needful to master before working with weapons.

If you buy a punching bag there are many important rules. You can totally mess up a building with a 100lb bag hanging from a single rafter, so get some help on mounting it, I will of course be happy to advise. Also one needs to learn to wrap the hands properly and then wear boxing gloves, to protect the small parts of the hands and wrists. @Neonatal RRT will be able to teach you why and fancy talk for the little bones and such, I think if you were to ask. Also a heavy bag usually needs a counter weight from the bottom or else like a stretchy cord thing that mounts to the floor. There are modern kinds that are safer, they just set on the floor. The bad guy one is fun, but dont leave him outdoors or he will get ruined fast from weather. The plain one is actually better but more expensive, I think.

I'm probably the only man you know who still heats the house with a wood stove, but I have to tell you son, you can start from a screaming murderous rage and split wood with the anger. It's really fun. You can likely get the rounds delivered and buy a maul at the hardware store (the splitter thing) and start busting up wood. There is always a market for split cord wood. Any church will take it in donation here out west. You actually should have a few heavy wedges and another hammer too, but anyways...

I hope you have a blessed day!

 

[Crossbreed]

For me, the count to ten thing helped when I was younger.
I have "gone off" on both misinformation AND disinformation.
Knowing that I have that tendency, I, now, first ask myself, "Am I reading this right...?"
Even if I am reading it right, just asking that question squelches my knee-jerk reaction and helps me to be more level-headed in my response.

 

[Au Naturel]

Since I don't know what set you off, it is difficult to be specific. I suspect a deep depression somewhere and people often react to depression with anger because despair is even more painful.

Counting to 10 slowly is one way to handle it. It stops the knee-jerk reaction and gives you time to think. Or count a hundred if you need to.

If you are filled with emotion then maybe "boring stuff" is just what you need. If I get super angry I go stomping off and continue to stomp until things die down. A mile away and I finally start thinking rationally. Burn off that adrenaline or it will burn you. Flares don't last that long.

The most important thing is to ask yourself is, "What about this caused me to go ballistic? Why do I care about what just happened?" In the end, you may find that what set you off wasn't related to what happened. It reminded you of something else that set you off. It could be that you are just angry in general and this was the proverbial feather that broke the camel's back. Or it could be that what blew you up doesn't really matter and you've been looking at it all wrong.

Practice on your own, imagining something that really sets you off. But in your practice, don't let yourself get angry over it. Replace the anger response with not giving a flying fart. Do this when you are alone and be prepared to do this in real life. When the real thing comes along, you'll be primed to do something other than fly off in a rage.

Please contact a school counselor or therapist about this. It sounds too serious to be handling all on your own.

 

[Captain Jigglypuff]

What I like to do if I’m getting angry with someone is try and walk away for a bit where I can vent my anger and calm down a bit as the person or thing that made me upset is out of sight and not fueling my anger. If I can’t do that immediately, I will stay quiet and then walk away as soon as I can. It actually helped prevented me from punching this one girl at work who was patronizing me and making all these comments that made me feel like I wasn’t being respected as a person.

 

[Pieceofmind]

Dealing with a horribly constricted life sometimes and what I deal with normally is often rage inducing for me too. I will usually go into the shower or into the forest where no one can see and hear me and freak out. There is too much on my mind, nothing can be immediately done about all of it and it drives me crazy sometimes as I have to go about daily life.

 

[aspieoutlaw89]

What I like to do if I’m getting angry with someone is try and walk away for a bit where I can vent my anger and calm down a bit as the person or thing that made me upset is out of sight and not fueling my anger. If I can’t do that immediately, I will stay quiet and then walk away as soon as I can. It actually helped prevented me from punching this one girl at work who was patronizing me and making all these comments that made me feel like I wasn’t being respected as a person.

i would rather commit acts of social mischief against those like herself the way any aspie like ourselves would commit against girls or women like that if we ever met them back in high school,if how you deal with it becomes ineffective .