Is there anyone whom you can trust, who would be willing to go with you, to see your gp? Because, sadly, most are blindsided by what they consider an emergancy and thus, the person sitting in front of them, who says they are suicidal, makes the dr think: but if you were, you would not be sitting in front of me, so you are not being genuine.
Whereas, if you have a spokesperson, who can do all that for you and even ask for a referral for aspergers, then, the dr would listen.
Happened like this for me. Thankfully, my husband acted as that spokesperson, which got me referred for evaluation for asd.
I went through similar, from moving to France, from the uk. I did not want to be in France and thus, suffered for several months, of deep depression and wanting to just fade away and die. I did not know about aspergers back then.
What got me through, was hating waking up with that terrible dreadness going through my body and thus, I got my clothes ready the night before and as usual, on waking up, felt sick to the heart, and whilst getting dressed, was crying my heart out and going downstairs, was a nightmare. But, I did and then, decided to write out a list of activities and crossed off each one, as I did them. Did, this for several weeks and one day, realised I did not need to anymore and that was the end of my dark period.