Since I always have been in a bit of a traumatic husslebussle throughout my life, another thought I have on this is the process of projection and projective identification by the empathetic unit of the brain. It is useful to have a look at this, as all humans apply it all communicational situations, if they want to or not - mostly unnoticed, or rather noticed in a subtle way: such as a feeling of attraction to someone. it is useful to learn about one's own self functions in these terms, and it is also very useful to dig into the projective activities of others: because you are affected by what the other projects into you, too, so it is good and reassuring to learn how others see things. they are rarely as consious of themselves as one expect: often the run along with their intuition and never reconsider anything. In my experience NT people project and also interpret many things by social significance - AS do not do this much, and thus the other NT may also feel uncomfortable because you seem to be overlooking him. this is not always of positive effect to you, many times it is not - and you may relate such projections to you wrongly: they are if anything the other persons feelings, and you are not responsible for these.
projection is a seen as a transferral of a part of the inner self - aiming at a target in the outside, thus projecting either a part of the self, or a desire of the self into the other, which is why we seek what we lack not within ourself but within in the otherself - at least if we are able by projective means =) which I am not. I stick to objects. Btw: If you take a liking to objects, you are sort of projecting and answering your own projection in the desired object. besides this, if you are impaired in mentalizing/theory of mind applying such at very low and simple level, than it may happen that conflictings parts of your self are subconscioussly projected outwards, yet not into other people but all sorts of things: spiders, night frights and boogeymen, the dark, diffuse anxiety or feel of threat of no concrete relatedness..
projective identification is going a step further: this is that you make the other answer/react to your conscioussly or unconscioussly projected part of self/desire of self by means of how you behave. If you feel the threat of social exclusion/rejection looming up, steaming from those you are in short time to socialize with, you may be aggressive/angry on the inside. unaware of it you may subtly/half openly display correlating defensive signs - perceived intuitively by others and by this you may urge them to react to you, according your inner expectations. I think this is a bit of problem in people with AS, if of a constitution lacking self-esteem, confident appearance and social skill, bad experiences and social/shame-fears - the appear in ways being either bate or obstacle. Still this nothing compared to the projective raging roar by those of the BS, the borderline-spectrum - such half willing half unwilling make you borderline, too, and this in little time, if you try bonding with them =)
as by the self-projective contense there is a lot to learn about what is in the self - but usually hidden from view. it is like interpreting one's shadowed inner conflicts, thinking the outwards projected as direct or indirect/transformed reflection of the inner. I have spent the last 10 to 15 years on these phenomena as they were increasingly bothering me from early adolescence on, becoming later to manage only by strict self-regulation. I think people with AS do better at differentiating self projective misconceptions both within their own thinking, but also perceiving such in others. it takes some practice and knowledge of the common interpretive and responsive patterns, that among NT and AS are usually enmeshed with either self - those of AS generally tending to be subtly passiv-aggressive, aggressive, defensive, mistrusting or self-deluding and self-devalueting. it very much depends your personality: the more mud went into, the more mud comes out of it - one way or another, since one must be compulsively and overly self-aware to obstruct the mud from mudding your white shirt.
>> examples of projective self:
1. a codependent conflict you may experience as that you would angrily like to tell someone what you reoally think of him/her. for example, he/she seems to be obstructing you in your life - but somehow you can't say it, raging on the inside only. such a relation may be the strong needing of acceptance by that person, a mother/father i.e., but because of you were hurt, too, you feel rejected - and by guilt/shame forcedly bonded to a person
2. the last six months I have been foaming and raging in constant fight, fighting many tricky double binds and codependent infiltration of my self - by which I felt inferior, bonded and guilty of something to everyone I knew. yet, my razor-sharp dissociated ego probing my deeply mistrusted, dissociative self cut the chains that held me - a self which I fundamentally dissected for the many crooked twistings of false-truths hiding therein, and while I was doing so it threw at me all it had to offer in terms of defenses - all types of delusions, great states of mania, deep dark depression, haunting paranoid suspicions, sleepless nights burning hot and winding under floods of shame, endless projections of self-disvalue and being a good laugh for them, the alright people I had been forced to worship by denial of AS-symptoms - exposure panic and dissociation, intrusive ideas and thoughts of friends and family turning away from me in disgust, while craving to stay in this abusive lifelong and malignent symbiotic identifiction being forced NT.
If you feel very insecure and awkward you will be suspicious that the other will display such an impression of you. If then you have an amount of guilt and/or especially shame in you, that impacts your sense of self this may blurr your perception to great extent, in negative self-relation. such shame or guilt you would either feel conscious or more likely unconscious / as dissociated shame or guilt, becoming apparent to the ego as compensative defenses. (such as inner/openly displayed aggression, feelings of arrogance/superiority and prior-to-meeting devalueation of the other, moody or sinister or emotionally flat appearance, display of defensive mannerisms: straightforward stare | shifting position uncomfortably because of social axiety/social mistrust caused by self-related projection of threat | dodging any eye contact | looking at floor rather than at the other | firmly folded arms before chest | coming in onto a situation in an interruptive manner | not introducing, lack of display of interest | lack or absence of smile =) etc....
