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Hi, I’m new...

Discussion in 'Introduce Yourself' started by BenSolo, Dec 28, 2019.

  1. BenSolo

    BenSolo New Member

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    everything is new. I feel a little too lost right now. I’m in my 30s and I just got handed an unofficial dx. All of my idiosyncrasies and things my doctor pushed off on my adhd seem to be me being on the spectrum. Cleverly hidden by the fact that I’ve been able to “adult” okay, I.e. have a job, a family, a degree. But all of the odd little things and anxiety and social stuff... well, I suppose it finally makes sense. I just wanted to connect somehow. Even though IRL I like being a loner save my very small inner circle of family. But I don’t know why this dx is so hard to swallow? I’m not any different than I used to be! I’ve always been this way. A label hasn’t changed me. Anyone else struggle? All insight is appreciated. Thanks in advance for letting me be a part of your community.
     
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  2. Isadoorian

    Isadoorian Well Known Chat Member, Welcomer of Newcomers V.I.P Member

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    Welcome to the Forums! I hope you make new friends and enjoy your stay in the process! :)
     
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  3. Major Tom

    Major Tom Searching for ground control... V.I.P Member

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    Hi Welcome!
     
  4. tree

    tree Blue/Green Staff Member V.I.P Member

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  5. Butterfly88

    Butterfly88 Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    Welcome!
     
  6. Misery

    Misery Photo-Negative V.I.P Member

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    Just as a quick note, you might want to try asking about this stuff over in the general section instead of here. Intro section rarely leads to real discussion.
     
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  7. Nitro

    Nitro Admin/Immoral Turpitude Staff Member Admin V.I.P Member

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    Hi BenSolo

    welcome to af.png
     
  8. Wolf Prince

    Wolf Prince My future job title.

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  9. WildCat

    WildCat and his scatterbrain V.I.P Member

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    Welcome to the forums!
     
  10. Varzar

    Varzar Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    Welcome BenSolo!
     
  11. Bolletje

    Bolletje Potato chip wizard V.I.P Member

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    Welcome!
     
  12. GadAbout

    GadAbout Well-Known Member

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    Welcome, BenSolo. Stay and read, feel free to contribute and to ask questions.
     
  13. VAW

    VAW Active Member

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    Hi Bensolo, Welcome to the forum! I think in the case of my son, being diagnosed answered a lot of questions for him of why he is like he is. IT has also helped me to understand him a little better. This forum is a great place to learn, especially for people like me who didn't understand anything about ASD other than reading a few articles about ASD.
     
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  14. clg114

    clg114 Still crazy, after all these years. Staff Member V.I.P Member

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    Welcome to Autism Forums!
     
  15. Artemis

    Artemis Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    Hi Ben,

    Welcome. I can totally understand how it is a lot to digest. A diagnosis is different than just living life thinking you're a little eccentric. It may get more difficult before it gets easier—but, I do think accepting it and reading as much as you can about it will go along way in improving not only your quality of life, but that of your close relationships as well.

    I am an NT, and I feel that I have gone through a similar journey just by being married to someone on the spectrum. Learning that there can be neurodiversity is eye-opening, and enlightening. Whatever you do, try and be kind to yourself. Don't beat yourself up for who you are, don't let it add to your anxieties—there are just as many benefits as there are difficulties. The biggest eye-opener is just that you've lived in a society (and a time of humanity) when this wasn't understood from the beginning. If you had always accepted yourself as on the spectrum this wouldn't be anywhere as difficult I don't imagine. Try and also find kindness for those in your life who don't understand the nuances of what you are coping with. They love you for who you are, regardless of any new labels.

    I think you'll find the community here very helpful in times where you feel stuck.
    xoxo
     
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  16. Schism

    Schism Authentic Alien

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    Hi BenSolo & Welcome. Don't see why it's hard to swallow. It's been part of you all your life. It just has a name now. Read the forums. For me it made me able to come to terms with a lot of how I act out in life. Dx or not.
     
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  17. BenSolo

    BenSolo New Member

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    Thank you all for taking the time to reply. I’ve started to read up on things as the more I read, the more it truly does make sense. I’m trying to be kind to myself as labels are just words. Wow I really thought for years I just had “sensory issues,” my doctor never took me seriously on how severely they impacted me. I’ve started basically allowing myself to make some accommodations for myself. At work using noise cancelling headphones I am now suddenly completing tasks for the next week by Tuesday afternoon that I struggled to complete by Thursday evenings. Huge morale boost right there. And allowing myself to fidget freely instead of suppressing that urge I feel so much less stressed out... it’s really sort of amazing in that aspect.
     
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  18. Mat82

    Mat82 Active Member

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    Hi Ben, I am 37yrs old and have just been diagnosed with autism, i have suffered with anxiety, adhd, depression most of my life and thought if I kept trying I would be able to beat it and be "normal" like everyone else. The hardest thing for me is realising that autism is life long and that I have wasted so much time trying to be like everyone else instead of getting to know who I am and how to be happy with myself. I'm hoping over time it will get easier
     
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  19. Alexej

    Alexej Well-Known Member

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    Welcome to the Forum.

    Please hang around and read the various threads - there are lots of interesting ones out there.