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hi i'm new and i have a question :-)

marzi

marzi

New Member
hi i'm new and waiting for a diagnosis, but pretty sure it will include aspergers. Scared as hell though. My name is marzi.
Is it normal to not be able to make eye contact with specific people? I have to constantly lower my eyes when they lock with my psy : he's a man and i'm a woman, but i dont think that is the reason. He has dark brown eyes and glasses and it just feels wierd and scary. Maybe it's because he gets me to talk about private stuff and I feel embarassed.
Otherwise, i can manage pretty good eye contact with most people, by concentrating on the bridge of the nose or something, but with this guy, i just fail.
wonder if that happens to others :)
 
Hello! I know that for me, maintaining eye contact gets harder the longer a conversation is. It's why I find extended one-on-one interactions (like a meal) kind of awkward and tiring because there's not multiple people to look between.
 
I definitely find making eye contact more difficult with some people than others. If I find a person annoying eye contact with them will make the annoyance worse. I also find making eye contact uncomfortable when I am feeling vulnerable and awkward, which is always the case for me when talking to a psychologist or therapist. Also I forget to make eye contact when thinking deeply of having a long conversation which also tends to happen with psychologists.
 
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Is this the guy? The solution is easy. Change shrinks to one of these:

a.jpeg

Or if that is too much trouble, you can just smack the back of his head until the glasses and eyes pop out.

:)
 
Welcome. I hope whatever answer you get from the diagnosis process is a relief for you. I hope you find this forum as friendly and useful as I have.
 
This place has really help me feel normal. Hope you find it useful. The eye contact, l can completely ignore faces. I understand what you are saying.
 
Welcome to the forums, and good luck with the diagnosis. I have trouble with the eye contact thing, too, it's dangerous, and harder with some than others.
 
Hello and warm wellcome to the forum Marzi.

I have never been able to look anyone straight in the eyes and never will.
 
Dear Everybody that has replied or read my message. You have really helped me a lot. It's a real boost to know that you are there. I hope I can help others in turn. :)
 
Good luck. And above all regardles of what this test says

Nothing have changed. Youre still exatly the same as you were before this possible diagnose . all this is is a document which will be a way for you to be able to understand why you might having this or that problems and others close around you to be able to understand why as well. And for the docs to be able to help you if needed to get the help you need. Thats all :)
 
Welcome Marzi!

And, yeah. That sounds totally normal to me. I can't look people in the eyes for more than a few seconds without great discomfort.

Also, don't think there's anything to be scared about. For me, the revelation of Asperger's has only been helpful in my relationships and in understanding my past. It's been more like a relief than anything to finally have an explanation for so many things that never made sense before.
 
Hi Marzi. Welcome to the Forums.
How did it go then? Like other people said, a diagnosis is nothing to be scared of, in fact, consider it a relief. You'll get an answer, whichever way it goes... Better to know thyself etc.
I've been waiting 3+ years now & got my appointment for next year a few days ago. I am terrified either way it goes too. Be better for a Yes for me, would explain an awful lot in my life.

As for eye contact, some easier than others, defo depends on the vibe I get from someone. But I learnt a long time ago to emulate eye contact. . I look at the eyebrow & move around the face. As I am short - sighted anyway, far enough away, all I see is a pink blob with a moving blur for a mouth. Still makes me uncomfortable even though that's all I see. I just know (feel) they're eyeballing me lmao.

I am so glad I found this forum ☺
 
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