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Hi. I’m Neitiry

N

Neytiri

Member
I’m Neytiri. I’m 33 years old. English is not my first language so please excuse my bad grammar. I’m self diagnosed and I’m having my assessment in November of this year. I’m confused as how to feel, when I told my parents that I might be autistic they agreed with me, on the other hand my husband doesn’t think so, and it is all my fault because I learned to mask really well. I don’t let him see my meltdowns and I don’t share my recurrent thoughts and personal interest because I don’t want to bother.

I feel like all my life is just an Act, part of a movie we’re I have to be the perfect wife and mother but all I want is to explode, quit everything, move to a secluded area with the 2 people important in my life and my cat. I’m sorry to bother you all. I’m still on my meltdown and I need support. I wish I can talk to someone about my passions, my worries, my ideas and thoughts without being judge or corrected.
 
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Welcome! Which is your main language? Mine is Spanish.

Feel free to talk all you want about all you wish. This forum is full of very accepting people.
 
Welcome! It's okay to have days where you're overwhelmed or in meltdown - and being able to talk about it is healthy. Do you have any supports available so that you might be able to take some time off your regular work/duties/responsibilities and recover?
 
VictorR said:
Welcome! It's okay to have days where you're overwhelmed or in meltdown - and being able to talk about it is healthy. Do you have any supports available so that you might be able to take some time off your regular work/duties/responsibilities and
Click to expand...
VictorR said:
Welcome! It's okay to have days where you're overwhelmed or in meltdown - and being able to talk about it is healthy. Do you have any supports available so that you might be able to take some time off your regular work/duties/responsibilities and recover?
Click to expand...
Thank you for answering.What do you mean by supports?
 
Neytiri said:
Thank you for answering.What do you mean by supports?
Click to expand...

Do you have someone to talk to or who can support you with your day-to-day tasks, whether that be a friend, family, neighbour, colleague, social worker, or other social services?
 
VictorR said:
Do you have someone to talk to or who can support you with your day-to-day tasks, whether that be a friend, family, neighbour, colleague, social worker, or other social services?
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Thank you for explaining. Yes. I have one friend and my mother that listens to me, but they don’t help me with tasks. My husband is the only one that does a lot of the task that I can’t handle, like grocery shopping, driving, cooking, paying bills, Drs appointments, business interactions etc.. I’m self employed and I work part time and I do the rest of the chores at home and take care of our son.
 
You are a mother and working, that can be alot. I sort of lost my identity when l was a mother. Just one chore to the next. No time for me. You definitely sacrifice yourself.

This is a very supportive forum. Hope you find time to read the posts and we are open 24 hours everyday.

Welcome.
 
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You need not apologize for your written English as it is better than many who are born to it. Feel free to join in here, as we are a diverse and understanding group who will offer what support we can. It is a pity you cannot express yourself fully at home, but I understand your reluctance to do so.

Welcome to the forums.
 
Welcome!

I've learned to mask well through life also.
It's hard to keep melt downs hidden from someone you live with.
I've had the same experience now for 10 years.
The man I live with is the only person I have to talk with, and he doesn't want
to hear it.
He knows I have Asperger's and is OK as long as I don't show any thing that
would irritate him.

This is a good place to talk and let it out.
My mother was the only person I could be open about things with and receive
support from no matter what. :tulip:
 
Hi and welcome. Yes masking is a burden, and girls do tend to get taught it more thoroughly from an early age. Sometimes it is useful, but also often it results in girls not getting diagnosed.I hope you feel supported here, and will join in discussions. Your experiences can help others too.
 
Neytiri said:
My first lenguage is Spanish. Thank you so much for your kind words. I’m also an INTJ
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Si en algún momento necesitas desahogarte en español, puedes mandarme un mensaje privado. De todas formas, tu inglés parece bastante bueno y hay mucha gente aquí con más experiencia que yo.
 
Aspychata said:
You are a mother and working, that can be alot. I sort of lost my identity when l was a mother. Just one chore to the next. No time for me. You definitely sacrifice yourself.

This is a very supportive forum. Hope you find time to read the posts and we are open 24 hours everyday.

Welcome.
Click to expand...
Thank you for understanding
 
Richelle-H said:
You need not apologize for your written English as it is better than many who are born to it. Feel free to join in here, as we are a diverse and understanding group who will offer what support we can. It is a pity you cannot express yourself fully at home, but I understand your reluctance to do so.

Welcome to the forums.
Click to expand...
Thank you for your kind words
 
SusanLR said:
Welcome!

I've learned to mask well through life also.
It's hard to keep melt downs hidden from someone you live with.
I've had the same experience now for 10 years.
The man I live with is the only person I have to talk with, and he doesn't want
to hear it.
He knows I have Asperger's and is OK as long as I don't show any thing that
would irritate him.

This is a good place to talk and let it out.
My mother was the only person I could be open about things with and receive
support from no matter what. :tulip:
Click to expand...
I feel so related to your experience. Thank you for letting me know that I am not alone
 
Thinx said:
Hi and welcome. Yes masking is a burden, and girls do tend to get taught it more thoroughly from an early age. Sometimes it is useful, but also often itresults in girls not getting diagnosed.I hope you feel supported here, and will join in discussions. Your experiences can help others too.
Click to expand...
I agree with you. I was taught to smile, not to be so honest, which I couldn’t understand why people like to hear lies.
 
Welcome Neytiri, I think sometimes feeling that our life is an act is not uncommon. As a TA in Medical Microbiology I felt that I was on stage, and sometimes in my career I worked with very smart people and felt like the Red Queen, running just to stay in place.
 
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