Hello...

[Angelhalo]

I was diagnosed a year ago...but I knew since HS...because ever since Kindergarten I was a bit...undercooked in the mental department. I wont get into details but I would have mental breakdowns and issues with knowing when to use the bathroom properly and I always had weird niches...Id watch something id like 1000times over and my understanding of social cues is laughable but I trained myself to read a room a bit better. I love videogames and art, and pretty good with music and rythm stuff and two decades of gaming experience across many genres, my work is niche...I love it deeply no matter what anyone says and its not for everyone I accepted my weirdness in that department.

Presently I am 27 I don't tell people or try to use my autism as a crutch but I am left to manage it on my own, and far from being able to live by myself without measing up somewhere; and the adhd and depression doesn't help. I have expectations of myself which I know is weird...and may trigger anxiety and the depression but I have to do things like pay bills, and manage relationships but none of that helps the adjusting part, nor fix the lonely issue. So saying hello and I hope to not burden with my social/friend seeking attempts.

 

[tree]

 

[Angelhalo]

View attachment 130928

Wow nice banner : O I appreciate the welcome and effort

 

[honeytoast]

Howdy howdy

 

[Angelhalo]

Howdy howdy

Hai hai

 

[Aspychata]

Welcome to the tribe. Free coffee and donuts in the virtual lobby.

 

[Xinyta]

I was a bit...undercooked in the mental department.

While this wording is nicer than alot of people use to describe themselves. But I cannot help but see it as self-deprecating.

Truthfully. You are not any less intelligent, than anyone else. You just process and utilize your mental capabilities differently from what NTs expect.

In some ways, this is a blessing. In other ways, it's a curse. But life isn't life without both.

Id watch something id like 1000times over and my understanding of social cues is laughable but I trained myself to read a room a bit better.

Social cue issues will always be a common trait among us. No matter how gregarious or reclusive a individual maybe. As unfortunate as it maybe.

I love videogames and art, and pretty good with music and rythm stuff and two decades of gaming experience across many genres, my work is niche...I love it deeply no matter what anyone says and its not for everyone I accepted my weirdness in that department.

I am a gamer myself. Though not to the degree, it seems, you are. I draw on occasion too. Art has always been a fairly fascinating medium, in all regards.

Presently I am 27 I don't tell people or try to use my autism as a crutch but I am left to manage it on my own, and far from being able to live by myself without measing up somewhere; and the adhd and depression doesn't help. I have expectations of myself which I know is weird...and may trigger anxiety and the depression but I have to do things like pay bills, and manage relationships but none of that helps the adjusting part, nor fix the lonely issue. So saying hello and I hope to not burden with my social/friend seeking attempts.

It is not bad to have expectations for yourself, or a mask to build those expectations around. It helps you survive and navigate the NT world. But there will be a point where you will need to just be true to yourself fully. Only minimizing what's necessary, within reason, to live life comfortably enough.

You are not weird for being you. Normal is strictly a perception of individuals. And this is not limited to the NT/ND divide.

There are plenty here that understand depression (me included in that) and even a good number with ADHD.

So no matter how it feels. You are not alone.

Welcome home, @Angelhalo

 

[WhitewaterWoman]

Welcome!

 

[Angelhalo]

While this wording is nicer than alot of people use to describe themselves. But I cannot help but see it as self-deprecating.

Truthfully. You are not any less intelligent, than anyone else. You just process and utilize your mental capabilities differently from what NTs expect.

In some ways, this is a blessing. In other ways, it's a curse. But life isn't life without both.



Social cue issues will always be a common trait among us. No matter how gregarious or reclusive a individual maybe. As unfortunate as it maybe.



I am a gamer myself. Though not to the degree, it seems, you are. I draw on occasion too. Art has always been a fairly fascinating medium, in all regards.



It is not bad to have expectations for yourself, or a mask to build those expectations around. It helps you survive and navigate the NT world. But there will be a point where you will need to just be true to yourself fully. Only minimizing what's necessary, within reason, to live life comfortably enough.

You are not weird for being you. Normal is strictly a perception of individuals. And this is not limited to the NT/ND divide.

There are plenty here that understand depression (me included in that) and even a good number with ADHD.

So no matter how it feels. You are not alone.

Welcome home, @Angelhalo

I am a combined type adhd spectrum...so rollercoaster is a fun way id put it. I also have self esteem issues...help for it is expensive so dealing with it by myself so progress is slow, I try to look at myself a bit more positively...but dragged down and crawl up till its "easier".

and I am happy I am not alone in this cus its hard telling myself I am not...not to sound rude or anything...sorry.

 

[Xinyta]

I am a combined type adhd spectrum...so rollercoaster is a fun way id put it. I also have self esteem issues...help for it is expensive so dealing with it by myself so progress is slow, I try to look at myself a bit more positively...but dragged down and crawl up till its "easier".

and I am happy I am not alone in this cus its hard telling myself I am not...not to sound rude or anything...sorry.

It's not uncommon. Most who have Autism with a ADHD comorbid, at least on here, like to refer to it as AuDHD.

Dealing with depression without help is more of a uphill battle, for sure. And I get it. It's hard to find help when you cannot pay for it.

Do you have any medical insurance or plan on getting any? That could help with finding a psychologist/psychiatrist.

No need to worry though. You haven't said anything rude.

 

[Angelhalo]

It's not uncommon. Most who have Autism with a ADHD comorbid, at least on here, like to refer to it as AuDHD.

Dealing with depression without help is more of a uphill battle, for sure. And I get it. It's hard to find help when you cannot pay for it.

Do you have any medical insurance or plan on getting any? That could help with finding a psychologist/psychiatrist.

No need to worry though. You haven't said anything rude.

No medical insurance currently, got a new job...tho im burning out 3monthns in....and no one is really telling me how to sign up for it much less how to use the job app to check my benefits, so I am figuring things out on my own as usual. It offers health insurance tho its 33% of my already toddler pay checks....

 

[Rodafina]

Hello and welcome to the forum @Angelhalo. Looks like you are settling in just fine, but let us know if you have any questions. Hope you enjoy it here.

 

[marc_101]

Welcome! The "undercooked" description made me laugh (in a good way).

 

[Tom]

New folks are always welcome!

 

[Angelhalo]

Welcome! The "undercooked" description made me laugh (in a good way).

I am told i am funny tho my humor can vary from light sattire to dark, I can never read a room properly so whatever flows out my mouth happends.

 

[Crossbreed]

Hello & welcome @Angelhalo...

 

[AndyFBlues]

Welcome to the forum!