Hello

[LobsterTank]

You may call me LobsterTank. I am a 50 yo woman with asperger's, fairly high functioning according to others but still frequently baffled and beset by the world around me. I have a handful of circles that I am in, or on the outskirts of, but no one to talk to about this. I was hoping there might be a place for me in this community. Thank you.

 

[StephF]

Hello Lobster Tank. Welcome to the forums. There are some nice folks here and I hope you gain some benefit from talking to us.

Although some of us are a bit mad, self included LOL

 

[LobsterTank]

Nice to meet you, StephF! I look forward to getting to know you all. For now, I am just trying to get used to the site.

 

[Autistamatic]

Hello there Lobster Tank.
I'm a similar age to you and I only joined this community a couple of weeks ago myself. I've found it very welcoming so far and I hope you do too.

 

[LobsterTank]

Thank you, Autistamatic. I like your username.

I didn't figure this out til I was about 45. I wasn't happy about it to begin with. I guess I thought I would be relieved or something but there was a definite initial downside to being 'defined'. I also thought it would help my marriage but it hasn't. I think having a word for parts of me has actually made things worse between my wife and I.

That's disappointing and I am unsure what to do about all that just yet.

 

[Autistamatic]

I think having a word for parts of me has actually made things worse between my wife and I.

Sad to hear that, but equally sad, it's not unique. Coming out of the autistic closet can be a wonderfully liberating experience, but it equally can open up a whole new set of things to think about. Not everybody takes to it as positively as we would want them to and if they are very close to us it's exponentially more hurtful.
On the other hand, AS people are also quite prone to over analysing situations and sometimes seeing negativity that isn't there or nowhere near as severe as we perceive it. The only way I know of to overcome it is to talk it out with the people involved. If your relationship is strong it will hopefully clarify things for both of you and help heal the rift. Doing so also carries an element of risk of rejection, of course, but only you can evaluate how you feel about that scenario.
Either way, it's unpleasant to feel that way and I hope you find a way to resolve it. Plenty of people on here will be happy to be a sounding board for you

 

[clg114]

Welcome to AutismForums!

 

[Suzanne]

Hi there, lobstertank.

All I can say, is if I feel welcomed, then anyone should be able to feel welcomed.

I am on the route for a formal diagnosis and like you, despite will be considered high functioning, in fact, I think I am more on the low functioning, due to chronic social phobia and other issues.

 

[disconnected]

Hi, the name Lobstertank made me smile! I like it.

 

[Pats]

Hi Lobstertank. You will learn a lot and make some new, understanding friends here. My son is about your age and a couple years ago when I was diagnosed, there was the realization that he, too, is on the spectrum.

 

[Starfire]

Welcome

 

[George Newman]

Welcome to AutismForums, Lobstertank.

 

[tree]

 

[LobsterTank]

A lovely welcome from so many. Thank you each for that! I will be back soon to learn more about you all and the forums.

Thank you again!

 

[Nitro]

Hi LobsterTank

 

[Myway]

Hello and welcome. Hope you enjoy it here.

 

[Southern Discomfort]

Welcome!

 

[SusanLR]

Welcome to the forum, LobsterTank.
I like your username too.
You'll find plenty of people here to talk with and find information.