Perkinsj88
Well-Known Member
I started typing this almost immediately after researching illnesses in an attempt to pin point why doctor's have labeled me with depression, anxiety, bi-polar, and ADD. I started typing with the intent of creating a catalog of all the major events and facts I find relevant to my self diagnosis in order to present it to my primary care physician. The problem I have always had when trying to explain to doctors exactly what it is I struggle with is once placed on the table and a person sits watching and listening to what I have to say I lose any logical train of thought. This is despite the fact I would spend nearly half the day prior to my appointment planning my speech that would perfectly deliver what I was trying and needed to express but when I was placed on what felt like a stage with thousands of on lookers I failed every single time to execute the plan as I knew it needed to be. I rambled off many times in this and it probably seems like I took two or maybe even three different papers and kinda splashed them together. I almost decided to not post this for fear of the possible ridicule that could follow. I talked me self into believing it doesn't matter anymore long enough to make myself post this so here it is, I apologize for any headaches and possible disorientation my rambling may cause. I recognize this is difficult to follow, it began to help present information to a doctor, morphed to me just writing whatever I felt about stumbling onto this revelation about myself and towards the end I started to express things I wanted to towards my family. So then, I must submit this in multiple posts!
* * * * After extensive research and failed diagnoses, I have at last realized the root cause of my life struggles. The illness I suffer from is known as Asperger?s Syndrome or most recently disregarded and classified as a form of High functioning Autism. The information contained below is what has attributed to this personal revelation.*
* * * *I will begin by reviewing some Medical History belonging to my mother, I have quizzed her on issues of her past and it appears as though we share the same illness. My mother had great difficult attending school or any other activity that forced her into unfamiliar social situations. She had been severely attached to her mother from a very young age, the upset of being placed in a new social environment such as school proved to be too much. By the time she had reached the 6th grade level she was practically labeled retarded, she was removed from school indefinitely by her doctor. The only way she was comfortable communicating with men at the age of 20 was through letters, she became pen pals with a man from Indiana which eventually led to a psychical meeting and marriage in which she was moved from her home in Georgia to her new husband?s home in Indiana only to discover he was already married. She was abused for some time by this man and his family before she was finally able to get a message to her parents, my grandparents, made the trip from Georgia to Indiana to rescue their youngest daughter. I do not know much of what happened to her during this time, I?m not even sure she remembers or wants to for that matter. This may or may not have affected her mental state but there is evidence prior to this event which strongly appears as A-typical symptoms of Asperger?s Syndrome. She still struggles with social interaction and various other mental illnesses that I believe are the sole result of having Asperger?s Syndrome (Such as depression and Anxiety) to this very day at the age of 59.
* * * She was able to achieve a high enough level of social interaction to marry once more, this man would become my father; Albert Allen Perkins. She was told by many doctors that she would never be able to conceive a child so no precautionary measures were in use during intimacy. Against all odds she was diagnosed as being pregnant after expressing concerns towards her doctor that she may have Gaul Stones again due to her frequent vomiting. During this pregnancy her OBGYN performed a procedure called an ?Amniocentesis?, this test revealed that her baby (me, just in case I?ve lost you in my rambling lol) that chromosomal abnormalities were in fact present. They were unable to give her a definite diagnosis as to what condition this would cause in me, she was told however that it would likely be some form of mental deficiency such as Autism or Down syndrome. Aside from the abnormality detected with the Amniocentesis the pregnancy was entirely normal, she went into labor at 41 weeks I believe which would make me a full term baby boy. After my birth I imagine she frequently worried about what illness I would have, as time went on I appeared to be a completely normal child to her and the rest of my family. Considering the fact my family was from rural Georgia and none of them possessed any real knowledge of psychology you can understand why it was easy for them to overlook the obvious signs, after all, they had already overlooked the signs that my mother displayed many years ago. They simply did not realize there was a real problem I had to deal with; they believed me to be nothing more than an overly shy child that was attached to his mother the exact same way my mother had been to hers.
* * * * After extensive research and failed diagnoses, I have at last realized the root cause of my life struggles. The illness I suffer from is known as Asperger?s Syndrome or most recently disregarded and classified as a form of High functioning Autism. The information contained below is what has attributed to this personal revelation.*
* * * *I will begin by reviewing some Medical History belonging to my mother, I have quizzed her on issues of her past and it appears as though we share the same illness. My mother had great difficult attending school or any other activity that forced her into unfamiliar social situations. She had been severely attached to her mother from a very young age, the upset of being placed in a new social environment such as school proved to be too much. By the time she had reached the 6th grade level she was practically labeled retarded, she was removed from school indefinitely by her doctor. The only way she was comfortable communicating with men at the age of 20 was through letters, she became pen pals with a man from Indiana which eventually led to a psychical meeting and marriage in which she was moved from her home in Georgia to her new husband?s home in Indiana only to discover he was already married. She was abused for some time by this man and his family before she was finally able to get a message to her parents, my grandparents, made the trip from Georgia to Indiana to rescue their youngest daughter. I do not know much of what happened to her during this time, I?m not even sure she remembers or wants to for that matter. This may or may not have affected her mental state but there is evidence prior to this event which strongly appears as A-typical symptoms of Asperger?s Syndrome. She still struggles with social interaction and various other mental illnesses that I believe are the sole result of having Asperger?s Syndrome (Such as depression and Anxiety) to this very day at the age of 59.
* * * She was able to achieve a high enough level of social interaction to marry once more, this man would become my father; Albert Allen Perkins. She was told by many doctors that she would never be able to conceive a child so no precautionary measures were in use during intimacy. Against all odds she was diagnosed as being pregnant after expressing concerns towards her doctor that she may have Gaul Stones again due to her frequent vomiting. During this pregnancy her OBGYN performed a procedure called an ?Amniocentesis?, this test revealed that her baby (me, just in case I?ve lost you in my rambling lol) that chromosomal abnormalities were in fact present. They were unable to give her a definite diagnosis as to what condition this would cause in me, she was told however that it would likely be some form of mental deficiency such as Autism or Down syndrome. Aside from the abnormality detected with the Amniocentesis the pregnancy was entirely normal, she went into labor at 41 weeks I believe which would make me a full term baby boy. After my birth I imagine she frequently worried about what illness I would have, as time went on I appeared to be a completely normal child to her and the rest of my family. Considering the fact my family was from rural Georgia and none of them possessed any real knowledge of psychology you can understand why it was easy for them to overlook the obvious signs, after all, they had already overlooked the signs that my mother displayed many years ago. They simply did not realize there was a real problem I had to deal with; they believed me to be nothing more than an overly shy child that was attached to his mother the exact same way my mother had been to hers.
