Hello. Just signed up and wanted to share my story.

[Blaze923]

Welcome @Blaze923,

I too gravitated towards athletics as a means of dealing with my insecurities. As a kid I was good at running and could beat most of my classmates,...I could take the pain, bear down, and my competitive spirit never let anyone win. By the time I was 16 in high school, I had already worked my way into being the "strongest kid in school",...and nobody bothered to challenge me. Little did I or anyone else know, I probably couldn't fight my way out of a wet paper bag!

Years later, I was in my late 30's some powerlifters in the gym noticed me working out and suggested I try powerlifting. A year later, my very first meet, I broke all the national records for my age and weight class. So, I immediately started doing national meets and ended up breaking and re-breaking 11 national records in the 110 and 125kg weight classes over the next 8 years. I pretty much trained by myself 90% of the time.

I am 54 now, I still go to the gym for fun. It's a good stress release and gets the blood going to the brain.

There are others on here that are fellow "gym rats",...so we do have some common interests.

As far as your comment on your first post,..."This is more than I have ever shared with anyone. Please go easy."

This is a great group of people here. Most folks on here have some degree of personal history with being picked upon, teased, bullied, PTSD from all sorts of trauma,...and this is NOT the place to be if you are the one being the obnoxious "troll", causing trouble. We can have disagreements, but you are dealing with autistics who despite their personal beliefs on certain topics,...are still pretty civil and will often reference their facts,...unlike some social media sites. You can pretty much count on people who are interested in what you have to say, can often relate, and will give friendly advice if they can. Welcome.

What are those tests in your signature?

 

[Neonatal RRT]

What are those tests in your signature?

The AQ quotient and the RAADS can be found on-line, and often suggest a person on the spectrum. Cambridge University Autism Research Center has on-line tests. Others, are tests performed by my psychologist as part of my diagnosis.

Once you start doing your research on autism,...which I cannot encourage enough,...you will understand that there are many variants of autism,...and neurodiversity within variants. People who have done some research and have done many of these tests can look at each other's scores, compare, and get some sense of the person behind the computer screen.

Autism Spectrum Quotient (AQ)

Ritvo Autism & Asperger Diagnostic Scale (RAADS-14)

https://www.autism360.com/aspergers-test-for-adults-aspie-quiz-for-children/

https://www.autismresearchcentre.com/tests/

 

[Blaze923]

The AQ quotient and the RAADS can be found on-line, and often suggest a person on the spectrum. Cambridge University Autism Research Center has on-line tests. Others, are tests performed by my psychologist as part of my diagnosis.

Once you start doing your research on autism,...which I cannot encourage enough,...you will understand that there are many variants of autism,...and neurodiversity within variants. People who have done some research and have done many of these tests can look at each other's scores, compare, and get some sense of the person behind the computer screen.

Autism Spectrum Quotient (AQ)

Ritvo Autism & Asperger Diagnostic Scale (RAADS-14)

https://www.autism360.com/aspergers-test-for-adults-aspie-quiz-for-children/

https://www.autismresearchcentre.com/tests/

I got a 40 out of 50. How did you find a good psychologist for your diagnosis?

 

[Neonatal RRT]

I got a 40 out of 50. How did you find a good psychologist for your diagnosis?

Use the internet. "Adult autism testing in my area". Next,...ask them about the cost of testing and the interview process. Since you are over 18, most insurances are quick to say that they will not cover costs,...yet, if you talk to the testing centers,...at least in the US, they will know the proper coding for the insurance and get a good chunk of it covered.

If you choose the professional diagnosis route, I would suggest writing down all the things, past and present that make you think you may have autism. They will often like to interview a spouse or some family member with a long history with you. As a child, parents are often the key interviewee,...but as an adult, parents might not be available,...but they still need to establish that what you are going through has been life-long. Autism occurs well before birth,...it's not something that develops later,...so they need that history in one form or another.

 

[Luca]

Hi, and welcome!
I was terrified of joining a forum at first because I've had a lot of negative experiences with being online, and interacting with groups of people irl. But my experience on here has been very positive. Hopefully you'll find it friendly here too!

My family (not so much my parents but my extended family) strongly encouraged me to go the route of completing a college degree in four years, and work in an office or get some form of a white-collar job.
Well, that is not me in the slightest. I struggled through college for several years and now I'm "taking a break." I would go back if I found a school that was the right fit (which would probably be an online school since I always seem to get bullied when going to school in person).

And as for the job? I tried almost everything lol, but nothing in the realm of what my family suggested. Now I make money casually working with other people's dogs (training, walking, grooming, etc).

It is totally okay to not have an office job, or the kind of job people pushed you to have. You're your own person, and what works for someone else probably won't always work for you.

I completely understand and empathize with not being able to leave the house. People can be terrifying to be around. I had to work myself back up to leaving the house after my last really bad mental health episode a few years ago. It's still hard.

I'm glad you've found that going to the gym and eating healthy helps you! I'm not a gym person because I'm disabled now and I don't have the physical strength or stamina to do much more than go for walks, but I was very athletic when I was younger and I miss it. I think there are other people on here who go to the gym and work out who would probably be happy to talk about working out with you!
As far as getting a "proper" diagnosis... you've already been given really good advice, and I'll add that it can be difficult to find a good psychiatrist. You should research several in your area and see which one sounds like the best fit... or meet some in person if that's possible.

Lastly, you said you live in a small town but don't like being outside because of people, is there anywhere you can go that's totally private? Like a forest, or a nature reserve? We have a lot of those near where I live and since I live in a more densely populated area, it's good to get away to the parts of town that are more natural and less populated.

And do you have any pets, or do you like animals at all? I know I ask everyone that lol but animals are much better companions than (most) people imo. I've found it much easier to rely on my dogs than other humans, for companionship but also physical and emotional wellbeing.

I went on for way too long as always, so sorry about that... Hope you enjoy it here and don't be afraid to ask for advice!!

 

[Isadoorian]

Hi, and Welcome to the Forums! I hope you make new friends and enjoy your stay in the process!

 

[clg114]

Welcome to Autism Forums!

 

[Blaze923]

Hi, and Welcome to the Forums! I hope you make new friends and enjoy your stay in the process!

Making friends has eluded me for a long time.

 

[Blaze923]

Hi, and welcome!
I was terrified of joining a forum at first because I've had a lot of negative experiences with being online, and interacting with groups of people irl. But my experience on here has been very positive. Hopefully you'll find it friendly here too!

My family (not so much my parents but my extended family) strongly encouraged me to go the route of completing a college degree in four years, and work in an office or get some form of a white-collar job.
Well, that is not me in the slightest. I struggled through college for several years and now I'm "taking a break." I would go back if I found a school that was the right fit (which would probably be an online school since I always seem to get bullied when going to school in person).

And as for the job? I tried almost everything lol, but nothing in the realm of what my family suggested. Now I make money casually working with other people's dogs (training, walking, grooming, etc).

It is totally okay to not have an office job, or the kind of job people pushed you to have. You're your own person, and what works for someone else probably won't always work for you.

I completely understand and empathize with not being able to leave the house. People can be terrifying to be around. I had to work myself back up to leaving the house after my last really bad mental health episode a few years ago. It's still hard.

I'm glad you've found that going to the gym and eating healthy helps you! I'm not a gym person because I'm disabled now and I don't have the physical strength or stamina to do much more than go for walks, but I was very athletic when I was younger and I miss it. I think there are other people on here who go to the gym and work out who would probably be happy to talk about working out with you!
As far as getting a "proper" diagnosis... you've already been given really good advice, and I'll add that it can be difficult to find a good psychiatrist. You should research several in your area and see which one sounds like the best fit... or meet some in person if that's possible.

Lastly, you said you live in a small town but don't like being outside because of people, is there anywhere you can go that's totally private? Like a forest, or a nature reserve? We have a lot of those near where I live and since I live in a more densely populated area, it's good to get away to the parts of town that are more natural and less populated.

And do you have any pets, or do you like animals at all? I know I ask everyone that lol but animals are much better companions than (most) people imo. I've found it much easier to rely on my dogs than other humans, for companionship but also physical and emotional wellbeing.

I went on for way too long as always, so sorry about that... Hope you enjoy it here and don't be afraid to ask for advice!!

I'm not an outdoorsy person and have stayed inside for too long. I need a lot of alone time but I really need companionship that is more than a dog. I tried to convince myself not to need human contact but I started seeing escorts a year ago. Now, that is not good enough and I want a meaningful relationship. Dating sites are extremely hard to meet someone.

 

[Misery]

Small talk and banter always seemed shallow and forced. When I do express myself, it's usually bizarre or too personal for the receiver.

Aye, you'll find you're certainly not alone in dealing with issues like this.

Heck, IRL I will rarely actually interact with anyone I meet, simply because in the eyes of most I'm too freaking weird. Even around family I barely talk, and I *definitely* wont talk about my interests and such.

This forum really has been the only comfortable place. It really is a good place to make friends.

 

[Blaze923]

Aye, you'll find you're certainly not alone in dealing with issues like this.

Heck, IRL I will rarely actually interact with anyone I meet, simply because in the eyes of most I'm too freaking weird. Even around family I barely talk, and I *definitely* wont talk about my interests and such.

This forum really has been the only comfortable place. It really is a good place to make friends.

How about finding a soulmate?

 

[HermitCrab]

Hello, I'm also new here. But since the first day I made a post, I was welcomed with warmth and kind I haven't found anywhere else.

I truly understand you in difficulties about small talk and rapport. It's really hard to just talk about the weather or something on the TV show last night, but when I want to talk about something I'm interested, others seem they don't want to listen or talk anymore. Most of the time I also sit alone, minding my own business without anyone interrupt me. It's quite pleasant that way, and feel lonely at the same time because I know I do not fit in.
Then I found out that I have ASD, everything seems fine, not bother me much anymore. It's a huge relief and self discovery that help me a lot.

 

[Misery]

How about finding a soulmate?

That specific bit, I cant help you with, as I've always found concept idea repulsive.

But perhaps others here might have thoughts on it.

 

[Blaze923]

That specific bit, I cant help you with, as I've always found concept idea repulsive.

But perhaps others here might have thoughts on it.

I don't believe in soulmates but I want to love and be loved. I can't suppress this desire anyore.

 

[watersprite]

Welcome.

 

[MyLifeAsAnAspie]

Hi Blaze and welcome to the forums . I think you need to develop some interests that will get you out of the house. And then you may be able to meet people through that interest. Just pick an interest that appeals to the type of people you want to meet.

I actually discovered Asperger's in the late 1970s. I was interested in psychology and found a description of Asperger's in a psychology book in my college library. I have never doubted that I am ASD since. By the time adult diagnosis became a thing, I was already married. I didn't start talking about it until I discovered the neurodiversity concept.

 

[VictorR]

Welcome!