Kept in the dark
Member
Thank you
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I have read all those, trust me....much research.
Ok..just thought you might want to post there too, as there are some people who may be able to offer advice who are more likely to see your post if it were in that section.
Thank you for stopping wall text. It is hard to read.
I am glad you love him, but some of the things you say about him would hurt his feelings if he were here reading them, "momma's boy" and like a kid opening a present. Like he is immature.
People come on here and want to us to tell them if they have hope with an "aspie" who is not committing.
However he may not even have it. There are many disorders which over lap and some are not good. You have no idea what he has.
I would say go to a Dr with him to see if he is on the Spectrum.
If he will not, you have to decide what you are going to do. It seems like a terrible amount of confusion you are going through and, frankly, I cannot see this is ending like you want it to.
He has given you many, many signals and pull you in and out and in and out.
He is 60, that is his pattern and no matter what he has, that will continue. If you can live with that, that is good and you keep going on like you are. But you will be frustrated unless you just love him as he is and expect no more, him AND his mom and not just wait till she is not there! When she is not there, he may fall apart.
Maybe go to her and get to know her, too, and realize she is part of him no matter what.
In the end, we really have no influence over the people that come here. But you can vent and we will listen. That is all we can do. I am just confused on how much people think their object of affection is going to change. They are not going to change.
But I hope it works for you because you seem to be in a lot of confusion right now and I can tell you care a lot about him and are also not wanting to get hurt or waste your time either. That is a hard place to be in.
" oh, one thing. I mentioned that he is the most laid back person I have ever met, really doesn't anger although he seems to feel more comfortable around me to let some of that out...frustration at work and what not. Are there medications he might take that keep him calm and grounded the majority of the times?"It sounds like he's scared to commit to anything, probably because he's afraid to get hurt again as we aspies do often, and easily. Of course his mother sounds like a controlling you know what, mine was like that too until I cut her out of my life.
You seem like an amazing person for sticking with him for so long under so much confusion and probably stress. There aren't many NTs like that. I think that once his mother passes or he decides to stop letting her control him, things will change. Have hope and keep your heart strong and never give up on him is the only real advice I can give. Hope it helps.
Thank you for stopping wall text. It is hard to read.
I am glad you love him, but some of the things you say about him would hurt his feelings if he were here reading them, "momma's boy" and like a kid opening a present. Like he is immature.
People come on here and want to us to tell them if they have hope with an "aspie" who is not committing.
However he may not even have it. There are many disorders which over lap and some are not good. You have no idea what he has.
I would say go to a Dr with him to see if he is on the Spectrum.
If he will not, you have to decide what you are going to do. It seems like a terrible amount of confusion you are going through and, frankly, I cannot see this is ending like you want it to.
He has given you many, many signals and pull you in and out and in and out.
He is 60, that is his pattern and no matter what he has, that will continue. If you can live with that, that is good and you keep going on like you are. But you will be frustrated unless you just love him as he is and expect no more, him AND his mom and not just wait till she is not there! When she is not there, he may fall apart.
Maybe go to her and get to know her, too, and realize she is part of him no matter what.
In the end, we really have no influence over the people that come here. But you can vent and we will listen. That is all we can do. I am just confused on how much people think their object of affection is going to change. They are not going to change.
But I hope it works for you because you seem to be in a lot of confusion right now and I can tell you care a lot about him and are also not wanting to get hurt or waste your time either. That is a hard place to be in.
Maybe try giving him a little space, he might come to you instead. If he is an aspie can be really easy to get overwhelmed by people, especially if you love them.
It sounds like he's scared to commit to anything, probably because he's afraid to get hurt again as we aspies do often, and easily. Of course his mother sounds like a controlling you know what, mine was like that too until I cut her out of my life.
You seem like an amazing person for sticking with him for so long under so much confusion and probably stress. There aren't many NTs like that. I think that once his mother passes or he decides to stop letting her control him, things will change. Have hope and keep your heart strong and never give up on him is the only real advice I can give. Hope it helps.