AbbyRMB
Active Member
Hello all, my name is Abby and I'm in my mid-40's. I'm self-diagnosed ASD1 (scoring pretty high on the scale, seems outwardly very obvious to me) and have done tons of reading so that I can begin to learn how to modify my world so that I can better interact with it.
Ever since I was a child, I knew I was "different" than others and essentially learned to mask in order to fit in. I struggled inwardly and felt very "other-ed" in my family and friend groups - this lead to a lot of anxiety and insecurity. Thanks to my masking skills, one wouldn't know it if you know me in the short-term or surface, but long term becomes so challenging when the social skills are lacking. It has lead to loads of problems in my personal life. Although I battle mental health issues as well (trauma from a life-threatening incident I was in) I have been working toward finding "the whole onion" that is giving me all these additional layers. I knew there was something much larger in scope *behind* my more situational anxiety.
I have committed to being a happy ASD1 instead of an anxiety-riddled, hesitant, and quivering pseudo-neurotypical - in short, the mask is coming off. So, it's a bit scary but I know that I'm not alone. I appreciate communities for that reason, and I am very honored to be setting foot in this forum. I will be reading and absorbing info like a sponge so for that I say thank you in advance - haha!
My special areas of interest are musical history (such as learning everything there is to know about my favorite musicians, instruments, cultural backgrounds of each) and music theory (the mathematics of music). I can tell you everything there is to know about Carmen Miranda and Roy Orbison but I have no idea how to have a non-awkward phone conversation that doesn't leave me in tatters. I play several instruments as well as sing. I am always learning and this year I have endeavored to learn American Sign Language (I also speak Spanish and Brazilian Portuguese).
I'm happy to be here. : ) I hope everyone is having a wonderful day and a great start to the brand New Year.
Ever since I was a child, I knew I was "different" than others and essentially learned to mask in order to fit in. I struggled inwardly and felt very "other-ed" in my family and friend groups - this lead to a lot of anxiety and insecurity. Thanks to my masking skills, one wouldn't know it if you know me in the short-term or surface, but long term becomes so challenging when the social skills are lacking. It has lead to loads of problems in my personal life. Although I battle mental health issues as well (trauma from a life-threatening incident I was in) I have been working toward finding "the whole onion" that is giving me all these additional layers. I knew there was something much larger in scope *behind* my more situational anxiety.
I have committed to being a happy ASD1 instead of an anxiety-riddled, hesitant, and quivering pseudo-neurotypical - in short, the mask is coming off. So, it's a bit scary but I know that I'm not alone. I appreciate communities for that reason, and I am very honored to be setting foot in this forum. I will be reading and absorbing info like a sponge so for that I say thank you in advance - haha!
My special areas of interest are musical history (such as learning everything there is to know about my favorite musicians, instruments, cultural backgrounds of each) and music theory (the mathematics of music). I can tell you everything there is to know about Carmen Miranda and Roy Orbison but I have no idea how to have a non-awkward phone conversation that doesn't leave me in tatters. I play several instruments as well as sing. I am always learning and this year I have endeavored to learn American Sign Language (I also speak Spanish and Brazilian Portuguese).
I'm happy to be here. : ) I hope everyone is having a wonderful day and a great start to the brand New Year.