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Hello friends!

kmonokwe

New Member
Hello! I'm Lindsay. My oldest (now 10) was diagnosed at 5yo w ADHD, and as I learned about neurodivergence to help support him and manage my relationship to him, I came to realize that he's autistic as well, and so am I. Trying to integrate this info last year at 35, immediately following my dad's passing, threw me into massive chronic pain and severe depression, aka autistic burnout, aka nervous breakdown... That lasted about 8 months, and I'm so grateful for my husband who learned about autism and ND alongside me, found out he's likely ADHD himself, and has generally been a rock solid anchor in this insanely stormy year! Feeling better and slowly getting my feet under me again, and looking ahead to rebuilding a life that is sustainable and supportive of all the varying sensory and support needs in our household.

I've always geeked out on psychology, starting with personality tests and the like in my teens. Being undiagnosed for so long had me desperate to figure myself out, which has morphed into a real passion for people and their internal experience, sharing in the trauma healing journey, and endless reading and learning about psychology, neurology, poly vagal theory & other mind/body practices, etc etc etc.

I also love arts and crafts! Knitting, crocheting, sewing, painting. I love the sensory aspects of working with fiber and vivid colors :D

Lately I've rediscovered immersive pc gaming and I'm enjoying all the Steam offerings (and beyond). Especially love medieval fantasy MMORPG games, story rich farming/management sims, and indie games that are heavy on the sentimental and aesthetic vibes.

I'm really excited to get to know folks here and make some new friends! I've got a lot more to learn about autism and hopefully I can contribute a bit too :)

Please say Hi!
 

Stuttermabolur

Wondering...
V.I.P Member
Hi! You sound lovely. I also have a big interest in psychology, though in my case I have a particular interest in the biological side of it, and how our minds have evolved and continue to develop throughout our lives.

I also enjoy narrative indie games. Can you give examples of games you enjoy with Sentimental/Aesthetic vibes? The first one which comes to mind is Unpacking, though I haven't played it myself.

I wish you luck in your recovery, and I'm glad to hear you have support. I hope you'll stick around.

Edit: I just noticed the Princess Mononoke profile picture. That's such a great movie. It might be my favourite of the Ghibli films I have seen.
 

Nitro

Admin/Immoral Turpitude
Staff member
Admin
V.I.P Member
welcome to af.png
 

Tom

Well-Known Member
V.I.P Member
Hi and Welcome. I' too have always been interested in the medieval period. Something about it always especially captured my imagination. As a kid I loved the old films, like Ivanhoe and The Warlord. Have collected medieval toy soldiers since childhood and absolutely love visiting castles and walled cities. Although my career was in the military I have always had artistic periods and make figurine sculptures and buildings/castles (Medieval or Lord of the Rings) and also paint castle scenes. Have also leaned towards medieval themed online games.

It does run in families and is scattered accross my extended family (and inlaws) as well as myself and son. But we are undiagnosed, which is purposeful as it is still an obstacle to military service and my son followed my (and my wife's) path by choosing a military career. The military has also always been mine and my son's special interest and we actually work well within the rigid and predictable structure of the military. And you never have to worry about picking what clothes to wear. :D
 

Thinx

Well-Known Member
V.I.P Member
Hi and welcome, I think you will like it here. Yes I had a similar wish to understand myself as a younger person, did lots of group therapy etc, then trained as a counsellor and therapist. Didn't come across autism until in my 50s, when I found out more about it, and realised it applied to me. I think I was more relieved than anything, as it answered some questions for me. Glad to hear you are starting to feel better, that's great.
 

kmonokwe

New Member
Hi! You sound lovely. I also have a big interest in psychology, though in my case I have a particular interest in the biological side of it, and how our minds have evolved and continue to develop throughout our lives.

I also enjoy narrative indie games. Can you give examples of games you enjoy with Sentimental/Aesthetic vibes? The first one which comes to mind is Unpacking, though I haven't played it myself.

I wish you luck in your recovery, and I'm glad to hear you have support. I hope you'll stick around.

Edit: I just noticed the Princess Mononoke profile picture. That's such a great movie. It might be my favourite of the Ghibli films I have seen.

Thanks for your reply! Brain evolution is soo fascinating. I sure hope I've got some brain elasticity left, cause I've got a lot of optimizing I want to do :D Have you studied neurobiology formally, or as a hobby? I'd love to know more about your interest there.

A couple of the narrative games I've enjoyed recently are Unravel and Lost in Random. Unravel is very indie, sweet aesthetics, with a linear story and fairly simple (not easy lol) mechanics, and heavy on the sentiment. Lost in Random is a bit more commercial and a bit more complex, sweet story and a pretty interesting contrast between the regular mode of play (chill, story, exploration) and the combat mode. I've been looking at Unpacking! Another I'm interested in is Journey - the developer also has one called Flower and a new one coming out soon called Sky.

I love Ghibli films and San is one of my favorite characters. I resonate so much with the depth of story telling <3
 

kmonokwe

New Member
Hi and Welcome. I' too have always been interested in the medieval period. Something about it always especially captured my imagination. As a kid I loved the old films, like Ivanhoe and The Warlord. Have collected medieval toy soldiers since childhood and absolutely love visiting castles and walled cities. Although my career was in the military I have always had artistic periods and make figurine sculptures and buildings/castles (Medieval or Lord of the Rings) and also paint castle scenes. Have also leaned towards medieval themed online games.

It does run in families and is scattered accross my extended family (and inlaws) as well as myself and son. But we are undiagnosed, which is purposeful as it is still an obstacle to military service and my son followed my (and my wife's) path by choosing a military career. The military has also always been mine and my son's special interest and we actually work well within the rigid and predictable structure of the military. And you never have to worry about picking what clothes to wear. :D

Hi Tom, thanks for your reply! There is something mystical about the medieval period, and something beautifully simple in the way life must have been in that time. Have you watched any of the recent Viking tv series? One in particular that I love is called The Last Kingdom, focused on the time period when England was being formed and the regional kings were falling. And, of course, the battles and interactions between the Christian nation and their neighbors.

Yes, I've roughly identified several in my family that are likely autistic, although they aren't quite ready to walk that journey themselves :) I myself have almost no personal experience with the military, but it sounds like that has been a huge piece of your and your family's experience. What branch(es) have you all served in? I think I know what you mean about the rigidity and predictability - I bet if I had a stronger constitution it might have been a good fit for me too.
 

kmonokwe

New Member
Hi and welcome, I think you will like it here. Yes I had a similar wish to understand myself as a younger person, did lots of group therapy etc, then trained as a counsellor and therapist. Didn't come across autism until in my 50s, when I found out more about it, and realised it applied to me. I think I was more relieved than anything, as it answered some questions for me. Glad to hear you are starting to feel better, that's great.

Hello - yes, exactly! The relief I felt when I first realized - so many questions suddenly answered - was immense. Integrating those answers and dealing with some childhood trauma that popped up in the course of that has been tough but I'm always happy to do the work, knowing it'll move me into a better space.

I often wish I would have studied psychology formally and trained as a counselor. I still could, and have toyed with the idea off and on, but its not the right time now and I'm not sure it ever will be. I love the idea of using my special interest to help people. Are you still practicing as a therapist? How did the career suit you overall? I'm hyper empathetic and struggle to imagine how I'd manage the intensity of working with folks full time - I love it but it would probably burn me out quick.
 

VictorR

Random Member
V.I.P Member
Welcome!

Your journey start (caring for a ND child then seeing it in oneself), as you are likely aware is a pretty common one, and I am often in awe of how caring ND indivudals can be, though sometimes unfortunately to the point of burnout.

Also glad to hear you've got understanding and support for your journey. Some of my favourite people to talk to in real life are also ND and it's nice to have people who "get it".
 

Thinx

Well-Known Member
V.I.P Member
Well, I worked in hostels initially as a younger person, and during that time I realised that me getting distressed about their issues wasn't helpful for them, plus made me feel guilty because these were not actually my problems, and getting distressed about them was draining my ability to help. It felt self indulgent. So in order to help, I developed a clearer boundary between myself and their issues. For me that seemed possible, and gave me the satisfaction of being a useful help and support to the people in difficulties.
 

Tom

Well-Known Member
V.I.P Member
Hi Tom, thanks for your reply! There is something mystical about the medieval period, and something beautifully simple in the way life must have been in that time. Have you watched any of the recent Viking tv series? One in particular that I love is called The Last Kingdom, focused on the time period when England was being formed and the regional kings were falling. And, of course, the battles and interactions between the Christian nation and their neighbors.

Yes, I've roughly identified several in my family that are likely autistic, although they aren't quite ready to walk that journey themselves :) I myself have almost no personal experience with the military, but it sounds like that has been a huge piece of your and your family's experience. What branch(es) have you all served in? I think I know what you mean about the rigidity and predictability - I bet if I had a strong. er constitution it might have been a good fit for me too.

We have all been Air Force. I am retired now, but son is in and works on stealth fighters. I was a radar technician. My wife served 5 years in Air Force also as Radar Tech, but now after children are grown has second career as Special ed teacher.

The choice of Air Force was very calculated. Though as a kid I always wanted to be a Marine, when the time came I felt I was not a good fit for it. The Air Force is less demanding, and also more tech orientated which is also generally a good fit for people on the spectrum.
 

Stuttermabolur

Wondering...
V.I.P Member
Thanks for your reply! Brain evolution is soo fascinating. I sure hope I've got some brain elasticity left, cause I've got a lot of optimizing I want to do :D Have you studied neurobiology formally, or as a hobby? I'd love to know more about your interest there.

A couple of the narrative games I've enjoyed recently are Unravel and Lost in Random. Unravel is very indie, sweet aesthetics, with a linear story and fairly simple (not easy lol) mechanics, and heavy on the sentiment. Lost in Random is a bit more commercial and a bit more complex, sweet story and a pretty interesting contrast between the regular mode of play (chill, story, exploration) and the combat mode. I've been looking at Unpacking! Another I'm interested in is Journey - the developer also has one called Flower and a new one coming out soon called Sky.

I love Ghibli films and San is one of my favorite characters. I resonate so much with the depth of story telling <3

Thank you for the reply to the reply ;). I haven't studied psychology at university level, but in college (we have a strange school system in my country), I took three psychology courses, one of them (and my favourite) being in biological psychology. At university I also took a course in evolution which touched on the evolution of social structures and behaviours (the course featured my all time favourite textbook. I genuinely enjoyed reading through it). My main interest is in the evolution of altruism, how our mind is different from some close relatives, choice making and brain plasticity throughout development. I finished a BS degree in biochemistry and molecular biology this summer, though I seriously considered psychology or geophysics.

I know about Unravelled and Journey/Flower. I think I've heard the name Lost in Random, though I don't know anything about the game (except what you just said). Based on the games mentioned, I really recommend a Short Hike. You are a bird taking a hike up a mountain. It sounds underwhelming, but I ended up really liking it. The music is amazing, to the point that I bought the soundtrack. The composer (Mark Sparling) said that he was inspired by Studio Ghibli among others, and I think you can really hear it in the music. Here is a peek:

 

kmonokwe

New Member
Welcome!

Your journey start (caring for a ND child then seeing it in oneself), as you are likely aware is a pretty common one, and I am often in awe of how caring ND indivudals can be, though sometimes unfortunately to the point of burnout.

Also glad to hear you've got understanding and support for your journey. Some of my favourite people to talk to in real life are also ND and it's nice to have people who "get it".

Hello, thank you! Yes, I was raised in the conservative evangelical church, where I was heavily conditioned to care for everyone but myself. I'm hyper empathetic and have always been very emotionally sensitive - and you know I took that teaching about as seriously as possible LOL Its been a long journey to untangle all that mess in my brain and start to behave in ways that meet my needs.

One of the most amusing parts of learning I'm autistic has been realizing how pretty much all of the people I have connected with and become close to throughout my life are likely also undiagnosed autistics, or ND at the least!
 

kmonokwe

New Member
Well, I worked in hostels initially as a younger person, and during that time I realised that me getting distressed about their issues wasn't helpful for them, plus made me feel guilty because these were not actually my problems, and getting distressed about them was draining my ability to help. It felt self indulgent. So in order to help, I developed a clearer boundary between myself and their issues. For me that seemed possible, and gave me the satisfaction of being a useful help and support to the people in difficulties.

This makes so much sense!
 

kmonokwe

New Member
We have all been Air Force. I am retired now, but son is in and works on stealth fighters. I was a radar technician. My wife served 5 years in Air Force also as Radar Tech, but now after children are grown has second career as Special ed teacher.

The choice of Air Force was very calculated. Though as a kid I always wanted to be a Marine, when the time came I felt I was not a good fit for it. The Air Force is less demanding, and also more tech orientated which is also generally a good fit for people on the spectrum.

I'm glad you had the wherewithal to make the choice that was right for you at the right time. Your family sounds like good people, thanks to you all for your service.
 

kmonokwe

New Member
Thank you for the reply to the reply ;). I haven't studied psychology at university level, but in college (we have a strange school system in my country), I took three psychology courses, one of them (and my favourite) being in biological psychology. At university I also took a course in evolution which touched on the evolution of social structures and behaviours (the course featured my all time favourite textbook. I genuinely enjoyed reading through it). My main interest is in the evolution of altruism, how our mind is different from some close relatives, choice making and brain plasticity throughout development. I finished a BS degree in biochemistry and molecular biology this summer, though I seriously considered psychology or geophysics.

I know about Unravelled and Journey/Flower. I think I've heard the name Lost in Random, though I don't know anything about the game (except what you just said). Based on the games mentioned, I really recommend a Short Hike. You are a bird taking a hike up a mountain. It sounds underwhelming, but I ended up really liking it. The music is amazing, to the point that I bought the soundtrack. The composer (Mark Sparling) said that he was inspired by Studio Ghibli among others, and I think you can really hear it in the music. Here is a peek:


Congrats on completing your degree! What country are you in?

I just looked for A Short Hike - thank you for the recommendation!
 

Stuttermabolur

Wondering...
V.I.P Member
Congrats on completing your degree! What country are you in?

I just looked for A Short Hike - thank you for the recommendation!
Thank you. I'm Icelandic, though right now I'm in Spain visiting my mother. I really relate to what you said about realizing most of your friends are autistic. It's the exact same for me. Just this year, two of my best friends (of 7 and 2 years respectively) told me that they think they are on the spectrum, and I felt as if we had connected very well and differently than with other people.
 

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