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Hello! Feeling a bit unsure of myself

kbb0

Well-Known Member
Hi everyone! My therapist of one year suggested that I might have Aspergers a couple days ago and after doing some research I think she might be right. Ever since then I have been feeling like I don't know who I am anymore, even though obviously nothing has changed. I have been diagnosed and self diagnosed with many things (depression then bipolar, anxiety, ADD, auditory and visual processing disorder) but none of them have given me the feeling of identity crisis I feel right now. I think it might be because of stigmas and stereotypes I have subconsciously internalized, but I can't think of any specific stereotypes I might have an aversion to (I have a hard time remembering specifics). Having studied racism in college I understand how much subconscious bias, however unwanted, influences people to do, feel, think and say harmful things. But besides that I look forward to hearing from people who are similar to me! Being around neurotypicals all the time can make me feel stupid and slow, even when I know I'm not, my brain just works differently.
 
Welcome! Everyone reacts to finding out about AS differently; an identity crisis wouldn't be atypical. I hesitate to offer any specific advice but as for general advice, if you feel strongly that AS applies to you, I recommend making it a goal to embrace it and the identity crises should shake out through one path or another.
 
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When i thought i may be on the spectrum it had 2 effects;
1. It explained a lot of how i had been feeling and how my interactions with people and just about everything in my life now made sense if i looked at it through HFA eyes

2. Complete confusion, apprehension, depression, scared and utterly lost.

I sought out more information and through knowledge gained perspective and tips on how to address my concerns and tackle the issues i felt were causing me anxiety.
I also found a psychologist to talk to who had experience with autism and she has been quite insightful which has given me confidence to embrace who i am and stop trying to mimic and fit in.

Good luck and welcome :)
 
Hi everyone! My therapist of one year suggested that I might have Aspergers a couple days ago and after doing some research I think she might be right. Ever since then I have been feeling like I don't know who I am anymore, even though obviously nothing has changed. I have been diagnosed and self diagnosed with many things (depression then bipolar, anxiety, ADD, auditory and visual processing disorder) but none of them have given me the feeling of identity crisis I feel right now. I think it might be because of stigmas and stereotypes I have subconsciously internalized, but I can't think of any specific stereotypes I might have an aversion to (I have a hard time remembering specifics). Having studied racism in college I understand how much subconscious bias, however unwanted, influences people to do, feel, think and say harmful things. But besides that I look forward to hearing from people who are similar to me! Being around neurotypicals all the time can make me feel stupid and slow, even when I know I'm not, my brain just works differently.

It is quite a shock.... I felt the same way. But for me, the shock passed with time and eventually acceptance occurred. Now I just know it's who I am and there's nothing wrong with it. There is a bias, just like with other differences that society doesn't fully understand, but that's not your problem.
 
Hello and welcome. I'm glad you found us. I think it's completely normal to feel not like yourself after being diagnosed. The problem with labels, I think, is that they sometimes lead us to believe we are abnormal or deficient in some way. We are not abnormal----we are the way the Creator intended us to be. I'm glad you realize nothing has changed other than another label attached to your medical records and of course a totally new perspective on your past and who you are today---which is a good thing. Hopefully after a short time your mind will dispense with the labellng effect and your spirit will embrace and celebrate the wonder of you.
 
Well even if you weren't autistic you're clearly part of the neurodiverse group if you've had all those names thrown at you.

Welcome to the group. Grab a seat.


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Welcome kbb0! I hope you find the answers you are looking for on this site. I have!
I have no problem identifying with what you are saying. I was diagnosed a few months ago now. It helped to explain some things that were seriously confusing me. That said it started getting me to question so, so many things and for me to question who I am (like you even though all the things I am were there anyway and nothing had actually changed). I think, for me, part of it was fear, possibly based on fearful prejudice or bias as to what Asperger's is, what that would mean and also presuming that people would judge me etc. (I have issues with thinking this anyway). I think also because I don't always know what the societally view on things are, I guess the worst case scenario. Nevertheless, I think the diagnosis has actually helped me when interacting with others at work and socially because I end up watching what I do and say (not in a bad way) and also concentrating on what others say and do (again, not in a bad way). Beyond this, my noise sensitivity is explained now (and I don't feel so bad or self- conscious wearing my headphones all the time at work)...
 
Thank you everybody. The more I talk about it with my close friends and the more research I do on it the more comfortable I am feeling with the label. I really appreciate all your replies!
 
Recognize that while you may be "different", that it doesn't automatically translate into being deficient. ;)

Welcome to AC. :)
 
Recognize that while you may be "different", that it doesn't automatically translate into being deficient. ;)

Welcome to AC. :)

I could not agree more. I always felt like a "mutant" but now that I know I really am one, it has helped me become a better one :)
 
What made my self-diagnosis certain for me, was reading about how KIDS with Asperger's behave. Maybe read up on that. As someone who didn't figure it out until I was 40, I have many adaptations, and comorbid conditions confusing dx based on my current behavior. Childhood made it absolutely certain.
 
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