It’s more that girls on online dating sites are swamped with hundreds, if not thousands of messages from men. It’s really hard to stand out in a crowd.
Yeah, this. Especially messages from men looking for "a girlfriend" but who have no connection or attachment to the person they're messaging. If all they want is a warm body, it really shows.
My $0.02: put some thought, personality, and originality into the message, as well as your profile. This is the bare minimum for online dating. I'm not saying this will guarantee you success, but it's necessary for success and is a step in the right direction.
Also, online dating is a total crapshoot. Even if someone has the same interests as you, or some kind of common ground, you don't know who they are as a person. You don't know if your personalities are compatible even if your interests are. You don't even know if they're a decent person. Plus, all of this is even assuming people are replying to you and meeting up with you in real life. You might find success, but you
will find failure. If you're the kind of person who enjoys casually dating (I hate it) you will have fun. Otherwise, be prepared for stress and difficulty.
Also, don’t expect finding someone to suddenly change your life. Heaping expectations like that on people is a good way to scare them off before you even have the chance to really get to know each other.
So much this.
I ran into this issue in my last relationship. I was at what was probably the lowest point in my life. I met someone who was really great for me, but then expected them to solve all my problems for me. It is not their position to do that, and it was massively unfair of me to expect that, even though I didn't realize that's what I was doing. I didn't love myself first either, and overall I was in no position to be dating anybody.
If I had met her or started dating her months later when I was at a better point in my life, we might be married by now. No joke, we were that good of a fit. But as they say, live and learn, crash and burn.
Don’t get too worked up over it, don’t look too hard, just work on developing and improving yourself into the person you want to be, and you will be much more of an attractive partner to someone who likes you for you.
Yes.
Of course, it's easy for me to say this as a late-30s man who's had his share of relationships, both good and bad.
I'm not sure if I agree with this because of life experience or because of comfort.