Has your Autism changed as you have grown older?

[tw3]

They sent me for psychiatric help when I was a teen. I never understood what people meant by what they said. I accepted things as literally true and did not realize when they were meaning something different. I was always asked why I was making faces, but I didn't know that I was, so I was stuck for an answer. I remember turning red with embarrassment when my answers generated laughter.
Now I'm much older. I've learned by studying people's faces, voice tones, and body language when there is some secret NT meaning coming forth and I can figure it out most (not all) of the time. My wife of the last few decades realized about 10 years ago that she could interpret me for NT's and vice versa. She will cover for me and tell people what "I really mean." That's been very helpful. I still don't know how to tell if someone is actually a friend so I commit to things I shouldn't. My wife helps me with this also.
In summary, I don't think the AS has changed over the years, but I've gotten less concerned with the things that bothered me when I was young and I have an expert interpreter who spends a lot of time with me. She calms me down when I get upset and explains things to me very patiently.
I'm not so sure that I was dropped on earth by my real parents who might come back for me someday any more. I can see myself as a contributing member of society. I'm more comfortable in my own Aspie skin.

 

[tw3]

My social skills have improved a lot. I have been preaching in churches for the last 16 years. I still am pretty uncomfortable with the social aspects of going to different churches and having to make small talk with people before and after the service. I have had some strange anxiety attacks the last year that I never had when I was younger like when it started snowing really heavy and I had the sense that I wouldn't make it home.

I've been preaching and teaching for about thirty years. I'm just fine until the meet and greets. I don't understand the "small talk" at all.

 

[Andrew206]

My autism has gradually lessened over time. I am now pushing myself to improve my communication skills.

 

[Autism]

Hmm, that's an excellent question. I think in some ways it has, though it could be merely part of "getting older." However, as I've matured, I've learned how to "control" some of the manifestations by recognizing triggers, etc. Social situations, crowded places, noisy places, and crowded noisy places have become more of a problem for me as I've gotten older. The world seems to make less sense. Outside of the aforementioned, it's hard to say.

The world not only seems to make less sense, it actually does make less sense. Surrounded by people who make less sense everyday, with each and every attempt I turn another key in the lock of the door.

 

[MovieMike]

I don't think anyone's autism is really changing. At least, not in the sense that the brain is rewiring itself to be less/more autistic. Change is just a natural part of getting older. Some people get better at coping over time. They learn new social skills, tips for dealing with sensory issues etc. So they may seem less autistic. Other people may go the opposite direction. They may go through a rough patch, or stop caring about acting normal. As a result they may seem more autistic than usual. But it's the same brain. Everyone changes their behaviour as they age, including NTs. It's just that autistic people change to different autistic behaviour than usual. Not more or less autistic, just different.

I found this article a useful source of information on the subject.

 

[Nitro]

MovieMike's article will be something I will study now as I have had a TBI on top of autism...My former pre-injury brain was autistic and still is...my biggest fear after my accident was that my skills were all lost as I share a similar type of autism that Dr. Temple Grandin has...we both think in pictures...millions of them...I always have and still do...I recently got a call from Temple,a celebrity in the autistic world...we will meet in August

 

[Sparticus]

Me too in having recently found out I have Aspergers and really just starting to explore it and figure it out. I hate to worru but I do it anyway!

For me I have recently found out I have aspergers, in the last year have been learning to put put trust in others instead of trying to do everything my self. I try not to care about what others think but can be worry about it.

Ste11aeres, I identify with so much of what you have written. That's good awareness to say that some symptoms have diminished and some have gotten stronger. I wonder how much that is due to us understanding and recognizing the way we act? Sarcasm; I still take em as insults and hate em. Good for you for recognizing em.

Circle of friends-yup me too. Then poof in the wind [or so it feels] many [all] went their own ways. I feel ya on the isolation. Strange-I didn't mind being alone when younger. Now with just one close female friend, I crave more friendships.

I have found that some "symptoms" have diminished, others have gotten stronger.
As an example of one that diminished, I used to be horrible at recognizing sarcasm. With greater experience, I've gotten better at recognising those things.
However, I used to have a circle of friends (yes, really) now I have one and am amazed that I have even one, and am so so isolated from anyone beyond that one.

Yup I can identify. I've been getting anxiety from different areas-the loneliness and seeing former acquaintances move on/move out of State is one. Feel like I'm the last soldier on a Roman Wall-where is everyone?! Then the heavy feeling like an ax is going to all-something bad is going to happen etc.

My social skills have improved a lot. I have been preaching in churches for the last 16 years. I still am pretty uncomfortable with the social aspects of going to different churches and having to make small talk with people before and after the service. I have had some strange anxiety attacks the last year that I never had when I was younger like when it started snowing really heavy and I had the sense that I wouldn't make it home.

Judge I feel the same way about isolation. Thanks for sharing!

Yes, sarcasm is a problem for me. I can dish it out at times, but I cannot process it when it's aimed at me. These days I just consciously try to avoid dealing with it by ignoring it even when I can recognize it.

Your isolation sounds so familiar. I'm glad though you have your one Aspie friend though. One more than I have. Isolation is a strange thing for me. At times it's as comfortable as an old shoe...but other times it makes me very sad. I hope you're dealing with it better than I am at the moment. Nice to hear you might be getting a dog in the near future.

I don't do sarcasm and won't date or get close to a woman who is heavy into that.

The last girl I dated was supposedly so sarcastic. She would always say the same kind of things that she absolutely knew seriously burned me in the past, then later on when I questioned it she would say it was all in sarcasm. I'd say please don't do that. I couldn't tell one bit no matter how hard I tried that it was supposed to be sarcasm. Well I knew I couldn't live that way so that was one of the things that drove me away.

I feel comfortable around down to Earth people, artists and Nature. But for the majority of population, I might as well be an alien...though online I can write pretty well. But I identify with what you are saying.

The world not only seems to make less sense, it actually does make less sense. Surrounded by people who make less sense everyday, with each and every attempt I turn another key in the lock of the door.

I think in pictures too; in fact I used to be a pro photographer! I've tried to explain how my brain works to some people. Most don't get it. May your meeting go well and you learn some. Good luck and let us know how it goes!

MovieMike's article will be something I will study now as I have had a TBI on top of autism...My former pre-injury brain was autistic and still is...my biggest fear after my accident was that my skills were all lost as I share a similar type of autism that Dr. Temple Grandin has...we both think in pictures...millions of them...I always have and still do...I recently got a call from Temple,a celebrity in the autistic world...we will meet in August

 

[Judge]

I don't do sarcasm and won't date or get close to a woman who is heavy into that.

That's one thing about discovering my own autism. It's allowed me to really understand that I don't effectively understand sarcasm...it just causes my brain to lock up and later just assume someone just insulted me. I really feel at a disadvantage when people do it around me. Makes me feel really stupid at times. I hate that.

 

[millie33]

I was only diagnosed with Asperger's when I was 54 (I'm 57 now). Before that it was lots of other things. I've been hospitalized 2x in the past for depression with psychotic features (psychosis induced by the inability to sleep). I'm seeing a counselor now and finally understanding a lot of my issues. So now I avoid situations that I know will make me very agitated. I have some new aspie friends from the group my counselor has started. I try very hard to keep my sleep schedule normalized and take medications (namely lamictal, diazepam and sleep meds) in addition to melatonin. The lamictal seems to have helped to steady my thought processes (not sure how to explain what I mean by that). Keeping my sleep schedule in order is the key for me. I also give myself permission not to understand other people instead of grinding away at every possible meaning behind what they are saying. I watch stupid silly shows on TV and that helps me unhook my mind from the day. I live alone now after my relationship of 12 years failed. I just can't seem to jump through all the hoops anymore.

 

[Sparticus]

When younger I thought my self esteem was too low. Later I thought I was too sensitive. Then I started thinking it was just meanness on the part of the sarcastic person if it appeared as an acidic insult. Heard a Doctor on TV? or internet say negative sarcasm directed at a person is highly toxic. My brain locks up too per sarcasm unless it's done by a friendly person [example my brother who in a sensitive soft voice tried to help improve me or a woman who likes me and doesn't' do it to hurt me] it's light-as if making a friendly joke and accompanied by a wink of the eyes and smile etc.

Think I just over analzed this!!!!!!! But generally I mostly feel stupid when people do it and it seems to be negative in a tone of voice that is not overly friendly.

That's one thing about discovering my own autism. It's allowed me to really understand that I don't effectively understand sarcasm...it just causes my brain to lock up and later just assume someone just insulted me. I really feel at a disadvantage when people do it around me. Makes me feel really stupid at times. I hate that.

 

[tw3]

I was only diagnosed with Asperger's when I was 54 (I'm 57 now). ...
...The lamictal seems to have helped to steady my thought processes (not sure how to explain what I mean by that). Keeping my sleep schedule in order is the key for me.

I'm 69 and I found out about AS about 3 years ago. My story is way too long for now but I went through years of misdiagnoses. I've sought help in many ways but this one might help you.
The Dr put me on Zoloft which helps me keep my thinking in order. Without the med my thoughts seem to get off track and zoom all over the place. With it I can focus better.
Also, I pray a lot for people and situations and God gives me peace about them. Seeking good for others takes my mind off me which paradoxically ends up helping me.
Millie, you can find happiness as an Aspie in this world. It is possible. Keep going. Pray for God to reveal Himself to you. He can fill in all the empty spaces in your heart with His love.

 

[ShatteredUniverse]

Some aspects have improved for me over the years (being able to not take everything literally, overt manifestations of stimming, etc.) But certain things have worsened over time (my social phobia being the biggest).

I also cannot "take a joke" when it's told through text over the Internet, apparently, but I laugh hysterically when someone engages in witty word-play on a YouTube video. Go figure.

 

[Daniel]

I feel like I've just become more aware of myself as I've grown and aged. I started identifying as an Aspie about two years ago, at age 32. I looked back in one of my old journals, and it turns out I had considered the possibility years earlier, but ruled it out. Since the epiphany, a lot of earlier behavior and reactions from other people that I never thought twice about suddenly made a whole lot of sense in a new way.

I had been in denial about a lot of stuff before, and what had been lacking was an acceptance of other people (i.e. NTs) as they are. I was much more critical of people, and very opinionated. I was in a narcissistic fog. I was capable of inflicting great pain on people, and I feel sorry for my ex-wife, who got the worst of it.

I'm happier with myself now, but I also find life more challenging with this greater awareness. I no longer expect to feel or be like other people. I'm more accepting of myself, but now I have the challenge of dealing with much greater isolation.

 

[ExplosiveTMT]

Yeah I must say that I have changed a lot over the years.

Some aspects, such as my anger outbursts, were improved upon. I mean, I obviously still get angry, but the outbursts (I hope) are more subtle. I used to even harm myself. I no longer do that.
I had trouble making friends, up until a few years ago when I became friends with others on the spectrum, who both had struggled to make friends. So they wound up becoming my best friends. So that made me far more confident with making friends.

A couple of aspects have never changed. And I thought, "why should I change them? "
I still pace around a lot. I still flap my hands about when I'm excited.
I don't think I could change those things if I had wanted to, since they're pretty much automatic.


So yes, my autism has changed, hopefully for the happier.

 

[millie33]

I'm 69 and I found out about AS about 3 years ago. My story is way too long for now but I went through years of misdiagnoses. I've sought help in many ways but this one might help you.
The Dr put me on Zoloft which helps me keep my thinking in order. Without the med my thoughts seem to get off track and zoom all over the place. With it I can focus better.
Also, I pray a lot for people and situations and God gives me peace about them. Seeking good for others takes my mind off me which paradoxically ends up helping me.
Millie, you can find happiness as an Aspie in this world. It is possible. Keep going. Pray for God to reveal Himself to you. He can fill in all the empty spaces in your heart with His love.

I don't do well on anti-psychotic medications. They cause me to gain weight very rapidly, lose muscle, elevate my blood sugar, always be sleepy and dopey. I program computers for a living and need my mind to function properly. Diabetes runs in my family. Lamictal is the drug that steadies and clarifies my thoughts. I would rather try to learn other ways to deal with my anxiety even if it means sleep and anti-anxiety meds. My counselor is helping me to learn coping strategies. I give myself permission to take mental health days when I'm over-stimulated. We are starting a group here in Columbia SC for people on the spectrum so I no longer feel like such an outsider.

 

[Raggerty]

NO.
I'm still the eight year old fascinated by bugs crawling in the grass.
Yearning for that time again when the outside world didn't exist.
I have learned how to mask my fears to a certain degree but i wait for the blow to come every minute of every day that
i have to expose myself.
The times when i have forgotten are in a way the worst as when the blow comes it is MUCH harder to deal with and that's
when i'll hide in my shell.
Sorry if this sounds sullen.

 

[Autism]

NO.
I'm still the eight year old fascinated by bugs crawling in the grass.
Yearning for that time again when the outside world didn't exist.
I have learned how to mask my fears to a certain degree but i wait for the blow to come every minute of every day that
i have to expose myself.
The times when i have forgotten are in a way the worst as when the blow comes it is MUCH harder to deal with and that's
when i'll hide in my shell.
Sorry if this sounds sullen.

Formulated in the exact way that I live my life every day, yearning for the outside world not to exist: That is me for sure.

At the end of the day I am so sick of the outside world, they interrupt my friendship with nature. STAY OUT.

 

[millie33]

Yup. Waiting for the other shoe to drop. Every single day.

 

[Autism]

At the point I am at: wait a minute: where is that darn shoe?

 

[May Black]

I have never considered the option of my boyfriend growing "more autistic" and the thought of it is frankly rather terrifying. I'm not sure how much more I'd be able to handle and the thought of us parting is deeply painful to me.

I know he's been pushing himself to explore new things, new food, clothes, places. We travel around a lot, which is something I love and he has never done before. I try to be accepting, but I also want him to grow, broaden his horizons and learn new things, which is something I believe to be important for any human being, myself included. I guess now I'm scared that he'll wake up one day and decide that none of the new things we do are particularly fun to him. That being with me makes him pretend to be someone he's not.

I don't think anyone's autism is really changing. At least, not in the sense that the brain is rewiring itself to be less/more autistic. Change is just a natural part of getting older. Some people get better at coping over time. They learn new social skills, tips for dealing with sensory issues etc. So they may seem less autistic. Other people may go the opposite direction. They may go through a rough patch, or stop caring about acting normal. As a result they may seem more autistic than usual. But it's the same brain. Everyone changes their behaviour as they age, including NTs. It's just that autistic people change to different autistic behaviour than usual. Not more or less autistic, just different.

I found this article a useful source of information on the subject.

Very interesting article indeed.

MovieMike's article will be something I will study now as I have had a TBI on top of autism...My former pre-injury brain was autistic and still is...my biggest fear after my accident was that my skills were all lost as I share a similar type of autism that Dr. Temple Grandin has...we both think in pictures...millions of them...I always have and still do...I recently got a call from Temple,a celebrity in the autistic world...we will meet in August

This sounds very exciting.