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Has your Autism changed as you have grown older?

Well I learned about it during my adult live. But what I can say after my research it started to make sense of the struggles of my life. I learned to accept it to make life easier for me. I decided to share with people I have asperges to help people understand me better. At the end of the day I learned to not be ashamed of myself.
 
My autism has changed somewhat. I make more eye contact with people. I still struggle with reading social cues and body language.
 
Fair to say now I am at least more knowledgable about what I am dealing with, I am a little less conflicted than in younger years.
Have a long journey ahead though
Growing dislike of having to pretend I'm someone I'm not to get by, too
 
I think mine has gotten worse. I was in my 30s when diagnosed. I can control most of the depression that can come with AS by limiting exposures to interacting with people but I don't think many people believe the connection between limiting exposure and depression.

So in appearance mine has gotten worse and I am more likely to be pulling at my bangs when unable to do something.
 
The main thing I've noticed is in the last 15 years, as I've worked very hard to "adjust" my "behavior" to appear "normal" or as I like to say "hide behind my normal mask". It takes more and more energy to keep up appearances, to control meltdowns and to deal with the constant nonsense NT's babble on about. I am totally exhausted by the time I can be home by myself to recharge.

I am more tired all the time. It's getting harder and harder to recharge. I am just worn out.
 
I've only recently come to realize I have asperger's, so not sure how much of my change is from knowing the diagnosis, and how much is just change in general...

B.D. (before diagnosis)

Up until the past year, I was getting better and better at hiding the things about myself that I knew were so unusual. But it was really hard work, and there were areas I just couldn't seem to break through.

Life got really stressful with family starting about 2 years ago. I held it together fairly well for another year, but eventually the strain of it got to me and all of my defenses started falling apart. My pastors helped me work through some of the layers of junk until we got deep enough that I started realizing, there's something more here than meets the eye. That's when I discovered that the description of asperger's fits me so well.

That was about a month ago...

A.D. (after diagnosis)

I've stopped fighting so hard against who I am, changed the expectations I have for myself, and tried to accept that there are some things I'll just never be good at or enjoy and that doesn't make me a bad person like I thought it did.

So some aspie traits have gotten stronger. But I've also focused my efforts and energy on the areas that I most want to change about myself. So...whereas before I would beat myself up for not being giggly or the life of the party or whatever...now I don't waste energy worrying about that. Which means I have more energy available to connect more deeply and less selfishly with the people who matter most to me.

Seems like...once I stopped fighting the traits that are "different but not bad" (which I always fought so hard because I didn't want to be so different)...I'm finding more freedom to address the traits that make me so difficult for my DH and kids to live with. I can focus on meeting their needs as the wife and mom, instead of trying to "fit in."
 
I'm 47 and still feel like an alien here. I'm still clumsy. I still have social issues. I still have tactile & sound issues. I still need my alone time and lots of it. Not a hell of a lot has changed except now, they've given me a name to help explain why I've always been the way I've been!

Got some pretty cool upsides to being an Aspie too. I wouldn't change a thing :)
 
My symptoms have progressively gotten worse in some areas and better in others. I eat a larger variety of foods now, including some I wouldn't touch as a kid (although that might a simple case of how your taste changes as you age). But I am much more sensitive to cleaning chemicals, noise, and the cold, and my ability to socialize has gotten much worse and I outright need some quiet and alone time regularly now. I have loosened up some, I was very strict when I was a kid about some things.
 
I don't think my condition has gotten any worse as I've aged, but my ability to cope with, and react to, my condition has changed.

Finding out I had Asperges a decade ago was a major turning point, bringing both relief and distress. Relief because I finally understood why I was so different, why I couldn't handle certain situations, and distress in knowing I had hurt people along the way by not knowing.

That led to my journey of self-understanding, which has led me to becoming more isolated from society. In my past I worked to serve my self, my aspirations, and bulldozed my way through life with little concern for others. Now I serve others and I'm happy to do so, maybe it's karma or my mind is just on 'paybacks are a *****' ;)

Now I understand why my alone time is an important aspect of my life, just as I see my home as 'sacred' to my well being.

There are rare moments when life pushes hard and I see the old me rile up ready to fight, though I can usually find a logical reason not to follow that course of action.

Like Ashe, I have 'loosened up' with age and I believe I'm better for it.
 
I do not believe my Asperger's has changed at all. I've still have all the Aspie problems and strengths that I've always had. I think the difference is that I've gotten used to it. At this point in my life, I like being a Aspie. It defines me, I just would not be me without it.
 
I was just recently diagnosed and only found out more about autism within the past 3 years, but I definitely feel that I've gotten "worse" over the course of my life, too. However, I believe it's because of environmental situational factors mostly... I have become more reclusive because of the fact that I no longer live with or near my family (whom I was close to, they live in another state, 14 hours away), and my only real friend is my fiance whom I am very close to. The lack of ability to make new friends (I'm not in school any longer, currently not working, living in a suburb 30 minutes away from town, I don't drive) makes it hard for me to know how to interact with people these days. Without practice I've not only become rusty but also paranoid of failing and lacking confidence (which just creates a cycle of failure or at least perceived failure)... I also don't fit in with the people I do meet because I lack the level of education and success they have. I'm very intelligent but because of my learning issues and anxiety I only have an associates degree (which even so took me 5 years to complete). Being around more successful people than me makes it hard to interact confidently, or know what to say. But being around less successful or less intelligent people than me also makes it hard to know how to interact. I feel like I don't have a middle ground, a comfortable place I can call my own in society, so I tend to be very self aware of my issues, awkwardness, eccentricities, etc...
I know autism has shaped me but I think the lack of support, friends, knowledge, confidence, and success has shaped me even more. I know all of that is effected by autism, but I guess what I'm saying is I feel like rather than my issues getting worse because of some biological time bomb getting worse, I'm just getting worse because negative event after negative event has made me overly cautious and afraid of negative events. Kind of like if you were to get sick by eating bad sushi, you might be afraid to eat sushi for the rest of your life. Not because it's inevitably going to make you sick, but because you know what it's like to be sick from sushi so you stick to safe foods that have never made you sick, or that comforted you when you were feeling ill...
Defense mechanisms and such... :/
I hate to say though, I agree. I've also gotten worse over the years and not better like some people would have you think happens for adults on the spectrum... I'm trying very hard to overcome my difficulties or at least learn to manage them, but it's not easy. I feel like I handled my issues better when I was a teen because I didn't believe I was the problem, I believed everyone else was! Plus I think being strange was more acceptable as a teen than it has been as an adult.
 
Also, I think it's kind of like when you become so aware of your breathing that it's harder to breathe normally after that. When you're made aware of your issues (either by negative events or by simply learning about your differences) you become so self aware of them, it's hard to not do them!
I remember the first few parties I went to in college where people would make awkward small talk with me and I didn't know where to look. Up until then, I don't really remember having to look someone in the eyes, one on one. I guess when I was younger than that it was easy to just act naturally and talk to someone however it felt right (side by side, looking off at other things happening, whatever). Frankly I think eye contact is a little silly anyway, it's hard to focus on anything important, anything around you, and it means basically nothing to the conversation. But in college I became so aware of my lack of eye contact that I trained myself to basically stare at people when we were talking one-on-one, and then look away after a certain amount of time had passed. Focusing on when to look and when to look away is very draining and makes it hard to focus on the conversation so I wish I could just forget about eye contact "rules" altogether and do whatever feels naturally. But I have found over the years that even if I try to forget, I can't, and now every time I'm at a stupid small talk party, all I'm thinking about is my eyes, my body movements, my expression, my consistency, my grace. I'm rigid and awkward and weird and I can't not be because I am SO AWARE of all of those things. Yet another annoying unbreakable cycle! It's only become more of an issue as I've gotten older...
 
I've improved in some areas and gotten worse or stayed the same in others. My sensory issues aren't such a problem now as they were and I interact and even sometimes gossip with the others well also my eye contact has improved and my clumsiness has receded somewhat. However I need much more alone time than before, I still have problems with some types or level of noise, my need for things to run smoothly and on time has not improved nor has my slowness, negative thought patterns and my sense of awkwardness in social situations. My stimming habits faded a bit in a my teenage years but now they seem to be back almost full force.
 
My school years and first couple of years at uni were tough, and I nearly dropped out of uni. My third year was a bit better as my social skills got better, I made some friends and I began to pick up confidence. I continued to improve until I was 30. I remember my mum telling me around my 30th birthday how much better I was at socialising and making friends, and how much my confidence had improved, even though I still had many difficulties with work. Then I had a fairly stable levelling off period until the age of about 35, when my job got more demanding and I found it increasingly harder to cope with. Eventually, I couldn't cope any longer and quit, and was unemployed for a couple of years. Then I accepted a job in another city, away from home. I never managed to adjust to all the changes - a new job, a big noisy city where I had to use public transport to get around, being on my own - I struggled for a few months with this, but couldn't cope, I lost one job and got another one, but I couldn't handle the anxiety, some sensory issues seemed to get worse, I fell into depression and just burnt out - my employers tried to accommodate me but I was getting physically ill from the anxiety of having to go to work, so I quit. That's when I got my diagnosis. In the aftermath of the burnout and diagnosis, I feel that my symptoms are a lot worse than they were when I was 30 years old, when I was still coping. Some sensory issues seem worse, and I don't seem to have the patience or energy to deal with them, and therefore I've become more withdrawn and less tolerant. Although I do have some social skills, I don't seem to have the energy to make an effort to socialise with people anymore. Talking to people, or socialising is exhausting, more than it used to be, and I need more time afterwards to regain my balance and energy.
 
I'm kind of relieved to read this thread. I was referred to a psychiatric nurse before I went to the Aspergers charity and she told me that because I'd never had any trouble at school (although she didn't ask if I did or not) that it couldn't be ASD, because it gets better over time as people learn to cope with it. Worryingly enough, she was an 'expert' in ASD. But it has always made me wonder and doubt a bit whether I have Aspergers, even though the charity that assessed me told me about 10 times that I definitely have.

I have never been able to hold down a job, but due to circumstances that has never really mattered much. I think the reason I have got worse recently is that I don't get hours of time on my own any more. My children talk constantly and it makes my brain go all fuzzy. I don't cope as well as I used to because I don't have time to cope. I think I might get better again as they get older and don't need so much supervision. I also find I care less about what other people think as I get older.
 
Since finding out about aspergers 3 years ago I find it's gotten worse. However this may be an illusion as I'm linking thoughts and behaviours to a newly found out condition. I've heard of something called autistic burnout. I do feel burnout is a good word for my state over the past 2 years.
 
The Autism hasn't changed. I learned how to deal with myself, all the challenges, better. If, 15-20 years ago I was in my current state of mind, possessing my current ability to communicate , I would be more focused, less distracted by doubts, I would address my sensory issues better and, possibly, get more out of my education and employment opportunities. My personal life probably wouldn't be as insane before the marriage, and I would probably go with a better set of values into the marriage. But all that would contradict my belief, which I've had since childhood: I'm on a path, has always been and always will be. Everything I do or don't do, every struggle and every success is a stepping stone my path is made of. There's a reason for everything, and lesson in every experience even if I don't know what the reason is right away. Maybe, when for the 1st time I saw human suffering, at age of 2, I convinced myself that it's true. But then again, maybe my path has been a part of me from the moment I was born...
Well... I've gone a little bit off topic here... or maybe I haven't ...
 
There are two possiblities: It either got worse or I get confrontated with it more. As a kid I had the advantage of being surrounded by adults who helped me out. After all, many people feel a great responsibility for children. But now I am an adult, there is this "now you are on your own" principle in society. For the first time ever I deal with the fact that I really have some issues.
 
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