Got the cold shoulder and might get discharged

[Gerald Wilgus]

I’ve never understood why you think that single women are supposed to seek you out while you just stand there like a bump on a log. Church events and life groups are about people getting together to talk about religious stuff, right? They have nothing to do with single women “showing up” for the benefit of amorous single guys. The way you word your posts and the terms you use suggest that you are under the impression that women do view church events that way, and you act like you’re being cheated or something, like you’ve been lied to because single women “don’t bother” to “show up” and try to talk to you, as though they’ve promised you beforehand that they would. Drop the attitude of entitlement and stop being such a sourpuss. Give it a try and see what happens.

+100 While I joined activities organizations for the outings and other things, I had little expectation of meeting somebody. It happened though, when I signed up for a trail maintenance project and was given the name of a woman who was interested in car pooling. Having social practice and a previous relationship that I learned from, I went way, way, out of my comfort zone and called her. She was a newbie to backpacking, so, of course I showed her my chops as we discussed equipment, preparation and training as well as planning the road trip. She became my wife.

This WOULD NOT have happened without me putting myself out there and advocating for my own happiness, not expecting it to be handed to me. That's just being childish and the women that I know IRL would never settle for a man-child. C'mon even @Markness , whose thread you hijacked, is earnestly trying, is observant and is reaching out positively. Maybe he has a ways to go, but, damn! he is going to get there a sight sooner than you.

 

[Tony Ramirez]

Thanks GadAbout I hear this crap from my friend who is married and meet his wife at that same Church telling me not to talk to girls and to be friends with couples who rub it in their relationships.

 

[Tony Ramirez]

Also putting myself out there is impossible when I will say it again the single girls don't even to bother to show up. Only single guys which is an turn off and couples who keep bugging me like flies buzzing in my face.

 

[Fino]

Also putting myself out there is impossible when I will say it again the single girls don't even to bother to show up. Only single guys which is an turn off and couples who keep bugging me like flies buzzing in my face.

Don't worry anyone, the thread won't turn into a religious discussion, but the most serious problem happening here is that church is about the glorification of God and the spreading of Jesus' name. Using church as a means to sin (lust) is an egregious offense, and the people at the church need to do everything they can to help you or if you're resistant to help then to remove you.

 

[Misery]

Thanks GadAbout I hear this crap from my friend who is married and meet his wife at that same Church telling me not to talk to girls and to be friends with couples who rub it in their relationships.

If this person is really a friend of yours, maybe you should try actually listening to him. Friends dont tell people this sort of thing just to hear themselves talk.

Whether you want to hear these things or not is utterly irrelevant in every way. Nobody WANTS to hear this sort of thing. But, they often NEED to... that's the critical difference.

What really matters though is what you bloody well DO about it. Are you going to stay in this same ridiculous rut all the time simply because you dont want to make the effort to change, or because dont want to hear anything but flowery praise? Or are you going to get the heck up and take some freaking action like a mature adult?

In the end, while I do care to a point, it's of no concern to me ultimately. I do what I see as necessary and then simply let things play out. I dont like futile action, and there are others to assist, so I've no intention of focusing too much on one who refuses to be helped. If you want to keep digging this hole of yours even deeper... as you've clearly been doing, and as you seem intent on continuing to do... by all means, go ahead.

But dont be surprised if people on this forum... not just me... continue reacting to your posts in this way. And be even less surprised if people IRL start getting irked at you. I guarantee: It will happen if you dont change.

We've given you the advice and told you the hard truths. You can make all of the posts you want on here... nobody will stop you... but they will never make a difference on their own. It aint how the world works, and you dont get to be an exception to that.

Truly think on the advice and accept that, like most people, you have a problem that needs to be confronted (instead of pretending that it's everyone ELSE'S fault, which is all you've been doing thus far)... or stay on this path towards inevitable pain and even further isolation. It's entirely your choice.

Feh, sometimes I wonder why the heck I even bother with this sort of thing. I type all of this knowing full bloody well that you either aint gonna listen, or aint even gonna read it. Guess I'm just freaking stubborn. But I wont waste any more time past this point as my patience has run out. So that'll be the last outta me this time.