Got the cold shoulder and might get discharged

[Markness]

An autistic woman in the therapy group I am in gave me the cold shoulder today. I sat at the same table she was at and she immediately got up to move to another table. I really wanted to be her friend but she doesn’t seem to like me.

I might also get discharged from the same therapy group today. I thought I was finally seeing some light after getting pain dumped on me throughout this year.

 

[tree]

She's in a therapy group.
Who knows why she moved....
Maybe she felt incapable of socializing right then.

Have you received official notice that you're discharged from the therapy group?

 

[Markness]

Yes, one of the staff told me as soon as she saw me.

 

[tree]

Yes, one of the staff told me as soon as she saw me.

Told you officially that you're released from the group?

Or told you that you may be released from the group?

In either case, was there a reason given?

 

[Markness]

Told you officially that you're released from the group?

Or told you that you may be released from the group?

In either case, was there a reason given?

No reason given. She just said it was going to be discussed.

 

[Judge]

An interesting uptake on such matters from a therapist's perspective. Might be of some help to you:

How to Navigate the Termination of Therapy with a Client

 

[Tom]

Is this the same group and person you wrote about here?

https://www.autismforums.com/thread...elationship-with-someone-ive-just-seen.37087/

Either way, it sounds like you are treating a therapy group as if it was also a singles/dating group. That will cause problems.

 

[Gerald Wilgus]

Her loss. Maybe she is just generally avoidant. Despite reasons, I took such snubs (in other contexts) too personally, a distortion in itself. After a number of these I just became avoidant myself, which is not a good thing either. Now I recognize just how stupid I was.

I wish you success in finding a good relationship.

 

[Kalinychta]

It sounds to me like the woman is very uncomfortable being around you. And if you’re being dismissed from the group, I’m guessing it’s because you’re making the women there nervous. Women don’t go to therapy to find boyfriends; they go for therapy. If you’re flirting and giving off “please be my girlfriend” vibes, they’re probably angry and have reported their discomfort to the head therapist. If you’re interested in being in a therapy group, perhaps you can find a male-only one?

 

[Tony Ramirez]

Either way, it sounds like you are treating a therapy group as if it was also a singles/dating group. That will cause problems.

You can say the same thing about my life group which is mostly single guys and couples and I am tired of hearing that comment from married folks.

 

[Aspychata]

Some people simply don't like us. Some people like us but we don't like them. It just happens.

 

[Markness]

It sounds to me like the woman is very uncomfortable being around you. And if you’re being dismissed from the group, I’m guessing it’s because you’re making the women there nervous. Women don’t go to therapy to find boyfriends; they go for therapy. If you’re flirting and giving off “please be my girlfriend” vibes, they’re probably angry and have reported their discomfort to the head therapist. If you’re interested in being in a therapy group, perhaps you can find a male-only one?

Hold on, please. The discharge discussion came from the staff wondering if I am ready to go or not. They think I am doing better. Nothing has been reported about me and I’ve not been accused of being malicious. I have not flirted with anyone.

 

[tree]

That was what I was wondering about.
The 'discharge.'

No one should assume that being released from a
therapy group is a negative action.

But, now, in fact, you are still part of the group?

 

[Markness]

That was what I was wondering about.
The 'discharge.'

No one should assume that being released from a
therapy group is a negative action.

But, now, in fact, you are still part of the group?

Yes, they simply asked if I felt ready to go.

 

[tree]

So, if you remember that it's a therapy group,
and not a dating situation, you may derive further
value from attending the group.

 

[Markness]

Also, I was told I was going to be talked to about discharging before this woman got up and went to another table. She was also absent from the group for weeks and I thought she had left.

 

[Tony Ramirez]

She was also absent from the group for weeks and I thought she had left.

I encounter plenty of those what's annoying is the ones you don't want to show up are there every week.

 

[Kalinychta]

Hold on, please. The discharge discussion came from the staff wondering if I am ready to go or not. They think I am doing better. Nothing has been reported about me and I’ve not been accused of being malicious. I have not flirted with anyone.

Oh, I see. So those were two separate issues in your original post. I thought you meant that the discharge was related to the woman’s behavior. I’ve never heard of anyone being discharged from therapy before. Is there a waiting list or something?

 

[Kalinychta]

I encounter plenty of those what's annoying is the ones you don't want to show up are there every week.

I would avoid you like the plague. Therapy groups are for therapy. Women don’t “show up” there so that men like you can try to have sex with them. Seriously, dude, your attitude is terrible, and you’re a jerk. Work on your attitude and stop being a jerk. Until then, get used to being alone.

 

[Markness]

Oh, I see. So those were two separate issues in your original post. I thought you meant that the discharge was related to the woman’s behavior. I’ve never heard of anyone being discharged from therapy before. Is there a waiting list or something?

I also message using my phone so I was actually talking about events taking place but yeah, I should’ve made the timeline obvious.
I guess there might be a waiting list because you are there for a month and depending on your progress, the staff will discuss keeping you on or letting you go. A lot of people I liked have been discharged and even the Discord group is lifeless now.