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Giving up making friends. Giving up finding a girlfriend. Giving up on life.

Tony Ramirez

Single RSD Aspie Rejected Loser
V.I.P Member
My recent failures of being in friend groups of literally being ostracized, abandoned where they ditched me. Being blocked by a girl I cared for. Being a failure in finding any employment or education even though I tried all the vocational avenues.

Being constantly gray rock gaslighting saying try harder it will get better, keep at it causes me to have public meltdowns in the streets where I am still ignored. Yes, throwing trash cans on the street and walking in traffic people still ignore me.
 
What do you hope somebody does when
they see you throwing trash cans? What
are you trying to get people to know by
doing that?
 
No one notices me really. Someone could find dog poop on the floor and form a friend group talking about it but I can literally pass out outside and no one cares about me. It's happened.
 
So what you're hoping when you throw trash cans
is that somebody will notice you?

You figure that by throwing trash cans people will
understand that you are miserably unhappy?
 
I'm sorry you feel bad.
Can you say what you need right now?
Do you want to vent without further comments? Do you want compassion/validation for your feelings? Do you want us to help you analyze the issue? Do you want suggestions?
Either is fine, but I don't want to upset you further by asking questions or making suggestions if you simply want to share and vent.
Hang in there.
 
@Tony Ramirez

It looks like it's hard for you to talk about
your feelings. You use examples, but
rarely use sentences that focus on you, like
"I feel...." Instead you point to things outside
yourself.

How often do you meet with your therapist?
 
Am Sorry your feeling this overwelmed. Am quite sure my advise will not offer the cure you are looking for. And I know from my life,how often you are taught to reinforce your idea of self value yourself . According to others opinions or impressions you get from them .
This method does not serve people trying to move forward in their lives .IMHO . Really
it boils down to how you value yourself. This is no immediate answer for your situation .
But it can be a very good long term answer. For you as a person . Doing things to draw attention to yourself . Especially negative appearing ones.Can often backfire on yourself . Personal growth is hard, and societal programming can be harder,to get past. So the object,I am writing about here is
That if you focus on your own "self successes" your happiness level and self satisfaction levels may go up. And as time goes by. Others may very well notice this in you . And they might prefer to be around ,someone ,who by incidental circumstances,might want to be around that person. Whom they notice that in ?. Be careful not to get overwelmed ,if possible .Just my humble Opinion.
 
@Tony Ramirez
You seem to have a selfish or distorted view of how relationships work because you constantly search for relationships with people who are waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay out of your league while shunning relationships with people who are in your league (such as the mentally ill, homeless, old fat men, and grannies).

I'll try to explain it. People have varying levels of social desirability. While everyone would prefer the most socially desirable individuals, it's not fair or realistic to expect people who have far more to offer you than you have to offer them to have a relationship with you. Additionally, people often prefer others who are similar to themselves. This means the mentally well tend to prefer friends who are mentally well while people who work for a living tend to prefer relationships with others who also work and contribute to society.

The following are GREAT options for finding relationships with others who are similar to yourself and have a similar social desirability as yourself (mentally ill, homeless, unemployed, or disabled):

psychiatry clinics (arrive early and chat with others before your therapy sessions)
psychiatric rehabilitation programs
group therapy
meetup groups for the mentally ill
homeless shelters
soup kitchens
senior centers
nursing homes

If you aren't interested in relationships with people who are similar to yourself, how can you judge others who have much less in common with you for not wanting to have a relationship with you?

While you may find acquaintances among people who are much more socially desirable and don't have much in common with you, few, if any, of these people will have any desire to have a relationship with you (beyond being a distant acquaintance). Unless you majorly work on yourself to significantly improve your mental health, walking groups and social events at the park are unlikely to lead to anything more than a distant acquaintance.
 
Hey damn it I tried socially outcast women, even they rejected my ass and were clique bees with other nerdy guys.

Also those others swear by using the only word that bothers me, chain smoke and are my mother's age again make me very uncomfortable.
 
When I tried to be positive, I was still ostracized by people. No one understands that.
I get shunned by my peers too (at my past job, when I took the class here back, ect.). Choosing to try to have a positive additude most of the time hasn't helped me make friends with my peers either, but it does help to improve my own mood when I take time to see the things that I do have to be grateful for in spite of how others may tend to act towards me.
 
I spent a lot of my life not dating, because l felt uncomfortable dating. So maybe you can find some happiness in being a loner. I relished my time spent by myself. I call the shots on all my decisions, go to movies, go to ballet and the gym. Work full or part-time, and answer pretty much to nobody. Right now, l sorta have to help a friend who really needed me. I was yesterday missing my alone time, being alone isn't horrible. But trying to be co-dependant on anybody you come across comes off as desperate, does this scare others away from you, probably.
 
I get shunned by my peers too (at my past job, when I took the class here back, ect.). Choosing to try to have a positive additude most of the time hasn't helped me make friends with my peers either, but it does help to improve my own mood when I take time to see the things that I do have to be grateful for in spite of how others may tend to act towards me.
My acquaintance said kill them with kindness.I tried but it never lasted.
 
Hey damn it I tried socially outcast women, even they rejected my ass and were clique bees with other nerdy guys.

Also those others swear by using the only word that bothers me, chain smoke and are my mother's age again make me very uncomfortable.
I know it's not easy but I think you only have 3 realistic options:

1. Relationships with people that are much less desirable than you prefer (such as those you described)
2. Work harder to overcome your mental health problems (intense treatment, self-help books, etc.)
3. Get used to being alone

I think option 2 would yield the best result. Since you're unemployed and live in a big city, you could go to the library and read self-help books every morning while meditating and practicing what you learned later in the day. You could also ask your therapist about more intensive treatment options if seeing a therapist 2 or 3 days a week isn't enough.
 
I am reading more. I got education books in the library about piano and Exoplanets which I almost completed. My friend gave me spiritual books. I love reading nonfiction.

So yes I am doing step 2. But 3 I can't handle.
 
yeah, its another reminder on how my mindset and mentality has changed a lot over the years, because i'm sure that a woman with Tony's mental condition, state of mind, mental illness, i'm sure will always have a better or easier chance of getting a date or into a relationship than a human male would.
 
yeah, its another reminder on how my mindset and mentality has changed a lot over the years, because i'm sure that a woman with Tony's mental condition, state of mind, mental illness, i'm sure will always have a better or easier chance of getting a date or into a relationship than a human male would.
Why would that be?

Men having lower standards for companions?
Or what?
 
That's great you doing some reading. Have you ever thought about piano lessons? You can buy an electronic keyboard quite cheaply, take a few lessons, wear headphones if you want to be quiet. I appreciate that you really open up and talk about how you feel. You politely ask for no judgments. This is a different Tony then a year ago. It may not seem like progress to you, but it is progress. You maybe surprised at all the men that are single. For every man who is involved, there probably are 4 or 5 who aren't. That l realize doesn't make you feel better, however, you may feel less alone in general.
 
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