1. Welcome to Autism Forums, a friendly forum to discuss Aspergers Syndrome, Autism, High Functioning Autism and related conditions.

    Your voice is missing! You will need to register to get access to the following site features:
    • Reply to discussions and create your own threads.
    • Our modern chat room. No add-ons or extensions required, just login and start chatting!
    • Private Member only forums for more serious discussions that you may wish to not have guests or search engines access to.
    • Your very own blog. Write about anything you like on your own individual blog.

    We hope to see you as a part of our community soon! Please also check us out @ https://www.twitter.com/aspiescentral

Featured Getting some slight Fomo

Discussion in 'General Autism Discussion' started by stewdog80, May 11, 2019.

  1. stewdog80

    stewdog80 I want to help People with ASD

    Messages:
    45
    Joined:
    May 4, 2019
    Karma:
    +121
    Years ago, I used to go online and post ads asking if people wanted to go to the bar with me. I met SO MANY AWESOME people that way. Of course, some were weird, but most were very, very nice, and accepted me into their clique with open arms!!!! I've been staying inside for the past couple years since I found out what autism was. Should I get back out there? I have my vehicle. Do you guys think it is worth it to go on social adventures if your AS is higher functioning? They would probably over time find out I'm not NT but they would be nice about it I think. I'm sure there are tons of youngsters that would like to chill. I'm going to put one of my interests in the ad so there is a common ground between me and whoever I'm meeting. Should I go mingle???
     
    Last edited: May 12, 2019
    • Friendly Friendly x 1
    • Useful Useful x 1
    • Optimistic Optimistic x 1
  2. tlc

    tlc The Mackinac Bridge and U.P. is my happy place.

    Messages:
    1,353
    Joined:
    Mar 8, 2014
    Karma:
    +1,223
    If you feel comfortable with mingling, then by all means do it. Nothing about autism says you shouldn't mingle. It's just most of us choose not to.
     
    • Agree Agree x 6
  3. Fino

    Fino Alex V.I.P Member

    Messages:
    3,073
    Joined:
    Sep 22, 2018
    Karma:
    +5,987
    Wait, what changed? I'm confused.

    "I used to do this great thing, it was awesome. Should I do it more?"

    Does that describe what you're asking at all? :eek:
     
    • Agree Agree x 6
    • Winner Winner x 1
  4. stewdog80

    stewdog80 I want to help People with ASD

    Messages:
    45
    Joined:
    May 4, 2019
    Karma:
    +121
    I was wondering if I should go out and put myself out there or should I just learn to be happy as a hermit.
     
    • Informative Informative x 1
  5. Fino

    Fino Alex V.I.P Member

    Messages:
    3,073
    Joined:
    Sep 22, 2018
    Karma:
    +5,987
    You enjoyed it before. What reason is there not to do that again?
     
    • Agree Agree x 4
  6. stewdog80

    stewdog80 I want to help People with ASD

    Messages:
    45
    Joined:
    May 4, 2019
    Karma:
    +121
    Just overthinking things as usual.:rolleyes:
     
    • Friendly Friendly x 2
  7. Progster

    Progster Gone sideways to the sun V.I.P Member

    Messages:
    5,315
    Joined:
    Nov 23, 2014
    Karma:
    +11,073
    Sure, why not? If it works for you, then do it. I'm sure I don't need to tell you that there is potential risk to meeting strangers through such means - I'm sure you're aware of these risks. I've also heard that there are more formalised meetup groups based round hobbies and interests, that might also be an idea.

    Another myth busted: that all people with ASD aren't sociable and don't like to socialise :)
     
    • Agree Agree x 3
  8. Major Tom

    Major Tom Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

    Messages:
    1,019
    Joined:
    Dec 3, 2017
    Karma:
    +2,747
    What's FOMO? I say go out and mingle, it's best to confront your issues, that's one of the main reasons I work. If I didn't work, I'd probably never leave my house...
     
    • Like Like x 1
  9. stewdog80

    stewdog80 I want to help People with ASD

    Messages:
    45
    Joined:
    May 4, 2019
    Karma:
    +121
    Thank you @Progster I love the idea of the meetup groups. Mostly I stay to myself but it's such a rush to go out and meet people once in a while. I haven't done it in years.
     
    • Like Like x 1
  10. stewdog80

    stewdog80 I want to help People with ASD

    Messages:
    45
    Joined:
    May 4, 2019
    Karma:
    +121
    @Major TomI don't usually leave my house unless it's to go to work, either. That and the grocery store.
     
    Last edited: May 12, 2019
  11. Fino

    Fino Alex V.I.P Member

    Messages:
    3,073
    Joined:
    Sep 22, 2018
    Karma:
    +5,987
    "Fear Of Missing Out"

    I only know because of an awful commercial I was incidentally subjected to. :eek:
     
    • Informative Informative x 2
    • Funny Funny x 1
  12. Progster

    Progster Gone sideways to the sun V.I.P Member

    Messages:
    5,315
    Joined:
    Nov 23, 2014
    Karma:
    +11,073
    I can relate to it as I have a extrovert streak too - I think I have (undiagnosed) ADHD, and get bored easily, seek stimulation, novelty, something to do, and people, or activities with people, are a source of stimulation. It's a kind of push-pull feeling which is in conflict with my ASD, because on the one hand I impulsively want to do things which may involve other people, but on the other hand, I have sensory issues and social difficulties, so run into difficulies when I get there, don't enjoy it, get overloaded, grumpy and want to go home. For example, restaurants: I used to like the idea of going out to eat food and have a drink, liked eating, but not the socialising - I couldn't socialise in that environment, could hear or follow the conversation, was just sitting there without speaking and feeling really bored, tired and irritable, then wanting to go home, where the others were chatting and talking and so obviously having a good time - a much different experience for them than it was for me.
    I have stopped all this since diagnosis and now that I'm older - I stay in now except to go for a walk or to go the supermarket - I rarely go to restaurants. I've come to the conclusion that restaurants are way overrated, anyway.
     
    Last edited: May 12, 2019
    • Like Like x 2
    • Agree Agree x 2
  13. stewdog80

    stewdog80 I want to help People with ASD

    Messages:
    45
    Joined:
    May 4, 2019
    Karma:
    +121
    When people don't know you they can sometimes be less than hospitable but once you join their group of friends they become your instant pals. I also get bored very easily and I have been known for my impulsive trips to downtown late at night. I also get this weird feeling sometimes when I am with a group of my mates and I just feel burned out by the chit chat. I get sensory issues when I'm at certain restaurants. My brain will try to process every conversation I am overhearing and I have to try to tune it out. People always seem to be enjoying the atmosphere while I am in agony. I think I am close to your age and I don't go out like I used to. Most weeks I go to work and the grocery store and that is it.
     
    Last edited: May 12, 2019
    • Like Like x 1
  14. Progster

    Progster Gone sideways to the sun V.I.P Member

    Messages:
    5,315
    Joined:
    Nov 23, 2014
    Karma:
    +11,073
    I agree with you except this bit - my social abilities are not really that good and I can't join in or keep pace with the conversation, and I never become instant pals or feel I belong to the group. I also often can't understand or relate to the topic of conversation, can't do banter,. I just sit there not talking. I don't have this emotion exchange going on on that seems to be necessary to gel with the group, so I can't connect and I feel alone and isolated, and they don't see me as being one of them. I am different. And yet I seek stimulation - seeing new things, eating food, or drinking something, so there is always internal conflict, or conflict with others who don't understand what's going on - my partner, for example, who doesn't understand why I seem to want to do things, that I then can't handle or don't enjoy.
     
    • Like Like x 3
  15. Peter Morrison

    Peter Morrison Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

    Messages:
    432
    Joined:
    Jun 18, 2018
    Karma:
    +1,316
    What you did was brave and creative. I applaud you. I think you are asking for an opinion because you want to make sure you aren't doing something everyone else might find dangerous, physically or mentally. I think you are fine, but as a precaution, let other people in your life know who these strangers are.

    I can only imagine that being ASD would have no negative repercussions among these NTs. The type of people who would invite a stranger to hang out with them is probably the same type who welcome new, diverse, and interesting people into their lives. You can never predict who you will meet in this world, so being out and about with people is positive. You always have the right to dismiss yourself if you are uncomfortable, but I think casual get-togethers with known and unknown people would be a nice change. I don't see why you can't talk about HFA. I think an intelligent person would want to learn about HFA from someone who is HFA, but I'm sure you can talk about many others things too. I think you found something that might suit a lot of people on the spectrum. Caution first, always with the Internet and strangers. Please post an update after your next social event. I'm very curious. Have fun.
     
    • Like Like x 1
  16. the_tortoise

    the_tortoise Lost Soul V.I.P Member

    Messages:
    1,891
    Joined:
    Nov 14, 2016
    Karma:
    +3,500
    I used to suffer from FOMO - The Oatmeal

    ^^ This is more accurate for my experience.

    If you are not happy being a hermit, however, don't be a hermit.

    Being autistic doesn't mean you are required to shut yourself away from society....you are the same person you were before you were diagnosed with autism. You have just as much right and reason to go out and do social things that you enjoy as any non-autistic person.
     
    • Agree Agree x 1
    • Funny Funny x 1
  17. stewdog80

    stewdog80 I want to help People with ASD

    Messages:
    45
    Joined:
    May 4, 2019
    Karma:
    +121
    Is there a way to PM you? I tried already and I didn't see the message icon. I have a lot to say.
     
  18. Peter Morrison

    Peter Morrison Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

    Messages:
    432
    Joined:
    Jun 18, 2018
    Karma:
    +1,316
    Hi Stewdog, I just sent you a message through "conversation" at the inbox. I've never used it before. I think you can respond and send me the message. Give it a try.
     
  19. Fino

    Fino Alex V.I.P Member

    Messages:
    3,073
    Joined:
    Sep 22, 2018
    Karma:
    +5,987
    So true! Every time I eat a restaurant, I think about how I spent twenty dollars on something I liked less than my dollar spaghetti-o's. :rolleyes:
     
    • Agree Agree x 2
  20. Bronzelincolns

    Bronzelincolns Active Member

    Messages:
    260
    Joined:
    Aug 5, 2018
    Karma:
    +334
    unless you finding out about ASD suddenly crippled your ability to socially interact with other people when it clearly didn't beforehand, I don't see why you should stop interacting with people.
     
    • Agree Agree x 3