Generation X kids were neglected

[Yeshuasdaughter]

It's pretty notorious by now that Generation X were neglected pretty severely by our elders. It seems a lot of us were locked out of the house and absolutely feral, with very little guidance. If we reported something bad happening to us, parents or other elders most likely would say to stop tattling.

I think this can count for elder Millennials as well as younger Boomers too. We just were not watched, and the bullying was severe. It was like Children of the Corn or Lost Boys out on the streets.

Tell a little story here of how you were left to your own devices, compared to other generations.

 

[FayetheAspie]

@Yeshuasdaughter That's horrible! I'm sorry they treated you like that.

 

[Outdated]

Why are you still moping about this 40 years later?

My mother was (deliberately) very naive and my father was a complete arsehole. We weren't neglected, we avoided our parents as much as possible, if they were home then we went out. Bullying at home was just as bad as bullying by other kids. As I became an adult I learned to not be a victim.

And as far as I can see very little has changed over the years regarding neglect and bullying. If anything I think it's worse, kids being dumped in daycare centres where they're left at the mercy of strangers. At least when we were kids we were allowed to be in our own homes after school.

 

[Misery]

Why are you still moping about this 40 years later?

Even just one particularly nasty or traumatic incident can stick. Or a long series of events.

I've been dealing with a therapist... a particularly good one... for quite awhile now, and it's surprised me as to just how many issues I have that eventually trace all the way back to school and bullying, as I was a frequent target, as was my closest friend.

And there absolutely are certain events that REALLY stuck and led to me being entirely paranoid around people. Like there was one time when my friend and I were walking down some stairs, at a school event, with me in front and my friend directly behind me a couple of stairs back. A particular snot of a bully decided that holy heck it'd be SO darned fun to shove my friend down the stairs. He shoved my friend, who slammed into me with all his weight, hard. Fortunately for both of us, while my upper body strength is terrible, I have extremely strong legs, and could absorb the hit without going down. If that hadnt been the case, either or both of us could have broken our necks or something falling down those stairs. I went after the bully after that and did... something... he never bothered us again. But that ONE incident really messed me up. It's one of my strongest memories from school, and ever since then I've tended to automatically view absolutely everyone (that isnt a friend or family member) as a possible threat.

It also gave me a VERY heavy distrust, and even heavier dislike, of children in general. Absolutely cant stand them. That hasnt faded even slightly in the 25 years or so since that happened.

And of course the teachers were generally useless for dealing with any of that. Somehow they always managed to be absent. They may as well have not even been there. It always seemed ridiculous to me, being in a place that was a contained zone for kids, supposedly safe, yet the adults just sorta blinked out of existence all the bloody time if lessons werent happening. I dont exactly have very good opinions on the education system as a result.

That event isnt the only one, but it comes to mind very frequently even after all that time. So I can understand how someone would carry something like that just sorta forever.

 

[FayetheAspie]

I'm a millennial and while I was not left running around unattended I have experienced the don't tattle bit from adults in charge. Most of my traumatic childhood experiences were caused by my dad, but I think the worst peer based early childhood incident would be the following. I was with a group of children and some of them decided they thought it would be fun to choke me with my own necklace. Thankfully, my Mama had made sure to get a safety release chain for it so it popped open and I was not strangled. I ran straight to one of the adults in charge of the event and they scolded me for tattling on other kids. I don't think the kids that were chocking me got spoken to about it at all.

 

[MildredHubble]

I cant, or at least I don't think I should go into much detail. But one incident (of many) which was clear neglect from my mother was when I was 12. I wont be too graphic about the bad part and hide it in a spoiler as it may be triggering for some.

Spoiler: Attacked on my way to school

I lived 6 miles away from my school and had to travel on a bus, for which you had to buy a pass. My mother refused to pay so I had to sneak on each day by borrowing an friends pass.

Often my mother would make me run errands for her "on my way to school" which never made any sense as she always demanded I return home to deliver the items she usually wanted from the shop. On one occasion (probably due to this) I got to the bus stop late. I couldn't borrow my friends pass as either he wasn't at school that day or had boarded an earlier bus. The bus driver refused to let me on since I didn't have a pass.

I walked home, but my mother wouldn't let me in as she was having adult fun times with a guy who lived round the corner. She screamed a torrent of abuse at me which caused me to burst into tears and then gave me 50p to catch a bus that stopped 5 minutes walk from my school.

I caught the bus and on the remainder of the journey on foot, two 17 year olds attacked me. I was taken to hospital covered in blood where they were unable to give me treatment as my mother didn't answer the phone for 4 hours.

Did she buy me a bus pass after that incident? Of course, the answer is no.

 

[Outdated]

Even just one particularly nasty or traumatic incident can stick. Or a long series of events.

Many of us have similar stories. Beaten so badly that I was hospitalised several times. Kicked in the nuts so many times that when I reached puberty they retreated back in to my abdomen for a few years and I was never able to sire children. Sexually molested by school staff. There's a lot I could be angry about if I wanted to be, but that would hurt me and no one else.

Time heals all wounds - unless you keep picking at the scabs.

 

[Kayla55]

We went on fishing trip to St. Lucia and I dropped fishing net in estuary, kids insisted I had to fetch it, crocodiles in water didn't matter as much as net worth R200
But I just couldn't get in the water and never heard the end of it. I've seeing enough of what a crocodile can do, imagine a naive kid

 

[Toirtis]

Not only is that a generalisation, it is an incorrect one. A great many of us were in quite the opposite situation.

 

[Kayla55]

Some of us are still bullied. I used to supply fresh hand made noodles to one Resturant, with one delivery being late and one Japs started moving the chopping boards around with accusations regarding hygiene and my new staff who was gay guy. The argument escalated and back home ended up throwing chopping boards around kitchen and I'm still upset as I am kosher, don't supply seafood however the fisherman do sell some Seaford in catch but it's not my side.
Honestly, the gluton free bread ends up being frozen and at R80 a loaf it's like me trying to start allergy restaurant in small town is even less chance success. Sadly due to high costs I'm thinking closing catering just like clothing shop. It's too much effort with little profit.

Hence I began to scrutinise small kebabs containing bacon and cherries since we cater chicken kebabs in peanut sauce. I'm not being funny but tech market supplies enough jobs the cotton industry and food influence was always Indonesia's business and now all is lost.
Not sure if should promote for health and fitness coaches, if it's profit. So I'm feeling like bottom feeder and pardon my commentary regarding riddles but think I've lost my mind in regard to jap earning potentials in what we regard as having market share stolen.

 

[Hypnalis]

It's pretty notorious by now that Generation X were neglected pretty severely by our elders. It seems a lot of us were locked out of the house and absolutely feral, with very little guidance. If we reported something bad happening to us, parents or other elders most likely would say to stop tattling.

I think this can count for elder Millennials as well as younger Boomers too. We just were not watched, and the bullying was severe. It was like Children of the Corn or Lost Boys out on the streets.

Tell a little story here of how you were left to your own devices, compared to other generations.

There are always a few children that have rough childhoods. They have every right to be heard.
But it's not generally true for GenX, nor is it "a lot"

It's a few, and probably no more than any other generation (including Boomers and Millennials).

In terms of large numbers and proportions, it's easier to argue that Zoomers and Alphas are getting worse treatment overall from their parent(s) and society.

GenX were the first to be significantly affected by the progressive failure of the traditional infrastructure and systems for providing active moral and behavioral guidance to children and young adults.

The consequences, passed on via the generations after GenX, are still uncertain, but it's not looking good right now /sigh. If millennials can't shape up and start making good videos games, TV (except Bluey , and movies again, I'll never forgive them.
BTW: By the time Zoomers take over the entertainment industry I'll be too old to care, so they're off the hook. /lol.

 

[Shevek]

I'm an old boomer, and I thought families that cared about each other were just popular fiction. My understanding was that my parents were responsible for food, clothing, and shelter, provided that I made them look like good parents. Mother was running the PTA, but knew nothing of my school work beyond the report cards. I got hit once a day in Gr. 9, where I was youngest, and didn't even think of reporting it.

 

[Kayla55]

I think with ASD when perceive unfairness, it wrecks us.
Explain: why did my mom kick kitchen door at old age home, because she perceived she was victimised for her demands over healthy diet and that we all ate oats, except her. Exaggerated, I sometimes ate oats, but more choice of Malta Bella poridge... The texture still bothers me and I prefer home made Musli.

 

[Kayla55]

Think about what my mom's had said about those years ago when my brother had school issues as we having issues with inclusion. She said Waldorf teacher was fired and started her own school for children with disabilities, so she sent my brother there. So being unofficial war zone we in South Africa have really endured all kinds of diversity differences, arguments over pap and general Nick back of surviving without being given silver spoon.
For my son to be accepted into affordable English school with communication issue (my vague explanation) is subject to criteria....it's private school so not obliged to be ordered around by Dept of education, and so zero really I can do about situation in South Africa.
Most autism schools are aba therapy, seems to be nothing for high school?

The true test of endurance here has honestly broken my spirit a long time ago, I'm still flabbergasted as to what my CV would look like vs what it is, and my son fails to hear me say sooner you go to Australia, sooner you cut your losses.
If you are a Malawian working in this country, may get employment gains by afrikaaner for not stealing or striking (and then no authority to implement basic Min wage so you could work for dry pap) but no medical cover when they are often stabbed over 8 times.... This is where I think Julius Malema refers to hide behind your white skin.

For years I've witnessed what goes on in this country. To this day I find my small business doesn't yield to my demands to cover what I feel is my worth and what I bring to the table. Exploited is name of game, so I nicknamed it the land of rape and money as opposed to milk and honey. What can you do if you need money to live today, and best offer is below my asking price.... Exploited again, for others gains and markup. That's why called capital gains tax.

 

[AprilR]

Yeah, i was mostly neglected and left to my own devices emotionally wise.

But nowadays most parents around me seem like too undisciplined and basically let their child do and decide everything, because they are worried "it might affect the child's psychology" to tell them no.

I think it may be an effect of growing up with too strict or emotionally absent parents, that they are trying to not make the mistakes of their own parents. But overly spoiling children is obviously wrong also

 

[Aspychata]

Yes, emotionally neglected by my mom and step-father. Abused in ways that my dad should have gone to jail. I made sure not raise my munchkin that way, to stop the generational abuse. I remember my mom leaving me in a room by myself for quite a long time as a toddler. Never comforted me as l cried. Yes, all horrible times l wish to forget. You do learn to reach out to your inner child, and try to heal.