geeks/nerds/asd

[WildCat]

The two don't always go hand in hand, it's nothing but a stereotype and a cliche. There's about as much meaning to the term as you choose to give it.

 

[Luca]

If “nerd” (I’m not using it in a derogatory sense at all) refers to people who are into video games, fandom, Disney, superheroes, anime/manga, cartoons (kids’ cartoons or adult cartoons), comics, and musicals, then I am probably the opposite of a nerd.
These are what I’m used to hearing people describe as “nerdy” interests.

I’m not saying there’s anything wrong whatsoever with having these interests, they are just not my cup of tea.

My interests are definitely obsessive, but for the most part seem to be pretty mainstream, just on a different level of intensity than people who are not on the spectrum.

I don’t think “autistic” and “nerdy” are interchangeable, but I think a lot of times people assume that anyone who has these interests is autistic, and anyone who has more typical interests isn’t. That is definitely not always the case.
I have plenty of NT friends who are into things like Harry Potter and Doctor Who and Marvel.
And there are obviously other autistic people besides me who are into more mainstream things like fashion and makeup and fitness.

Interests are highly subjective and individual, and I don’t think it’s fair to categorize people of any specific neurotype as only liking certain things.

 

[Boogs]

Nerd seems to have different meanings depending on who uses it and to whom it refers, and what age group, what interests, etc. It can be an insult, or even a complement (I think some 'nerds' have taken it back as their own, similar to how the word 'gay' was re-appropriated, and used as a group identifier in a positive sense?)
Sometimes it seems that a nerd can simply be someone with a deep interest in something that the other person has little interest in hearing about, but appears to be often associated with interests that are exceptionally intricate and detailed, in which they revel in that complexity and their understanding of it, and empowerment through that understanding, but often also usually beyond the grasp of anyone without the aptitude and the background knowledge and experience of the subject in hand - i.e. those who have been 'nerded'!

[Caveat: Yeah, you guessed, I'm a nerd! Whassat they say? A nerd by any other name, is still ..., actually, maybe that isn't what they say! ]

 

[Au Naturel]

Maybe it's just more acceptable to be a social reject these days. I don't feel that l must have friend (s). Where as a teen, my mom was unhappy that l clearly wasn't a social butterfly. In fact, when l told my mother l was getting married in my 40's, she said she was surprised, she didn't think l would ever marry. Maybe the decision of nerd has evolved or it just means different things to different people.

I think it is because the top billionaires are nerds. Bezos and Musk and Gates and Zuckerberg are all huge nerds. Jobs was a huge nerd. It is difficult to argue with a hundred billion dollars.

 

[Judge]

Having watched the AMC series "Halt and Catch Fire" several times, I have come to the conclusion that Cameron Howe (my favorite character in this series) was very much both a nerd, and an autistic one at that. Brilliantly portrayed by Mackenzie Davis.

 

[GrownupGirl]

That 's nothing but a stereotype. The one thing I've never accused of being was a nerd. After all, nerds are smart. And *supposedly* all male, just like people on the spectrum.

 

[lovely_darlingprettybaby]

Urban Dictionary definition of nerd:
A person who, when they don't know what a sexual related word means, they look it up in the urban dictionary.
A geek who either lacks social skills or else simply prefers solitary pursuits.
A four-letter word with a six-figure income.

What is wrong with being a nerd.
I am not a total nerd and would not like to wear glasses forever
But if I had pink glasses I would be the coolest nerd ever.
I think being a nerd is cool

 

[Aspychata]

No problem about it, it's just that l was trying to understand if nerd also means autistic or not? The post is asking others what they thought.

 

[stevens]

So l have met a person, who does information dumps 24/7,(lol). And has very technical degrees up the wahoo. Yet is still very down to earth. Are some nerds not autistic? Is that a given? Can you be autistic and not be nerdy? This is just a general question, not intended to offend anyone. To me, being nerdy is a compliment.

Well of course nerd does not automatically = autistic. But, playing the odds....

I'm an engineer, and autistic. I worked with engineers all my life. Naturally was attracted to older adults who were engineers, to talk with when I was a child. As a result of growing up and working in this environment, I'd say more than just a few of those people had features of autism. And many did not.

Looking back at my childhood, however, every one of my fellow students who had interests like mine channeled the features of autism. This was before anyone thought anything about autism. In the 90's, I had a daughter (who is not autistic), who had many nerdy friends. By the 90's everyone was clued in to the possibility of ASD kids. And for sure, some of her friends who were super nerdy were as autistic as the day is long. But, of course, not all of them.

In my job over the years, the lack of social skills--the key trait of autism--stood out real clearly as the dividing line. One thing about the probably-autistic ones though: They usually were the best technical people I worked with, if you measure that by the ability to do the work at a high level.

 

[Boogs]

Well of course nerd does not automatically = autistic. But, playing the odds....

I'm an engineer, and autistic. I worked with engineers all my life. Naturally was attracted to older adults who were engineers, to talk with when I was a child. As a result of growing up and working in this environment, I'd say more than just a few of those people had features of autism. And many did not.

Looking back at my childhood, however, every one of my fellow students who had interests like mine channeled the features of autism. This was before anyone thought anything about autism. In the 90's, I had a daughter (who is not autistic), who had many nerdy friends. By the 90's everyone was clued in to the possibility of ASD kids. And for sure, some of her friends who were super nerdy were as autistic as the day is long. But, of course, not all of them.

In my job over the years, the lack of social skills--the key trait of autism--stood out real clearly as the dividing line. One thing about the probably-autistic ones though: They usually were the best technical people I worked with, if you measure that by the ability to do the work at a high level.

Would totally agree with that, being in a similar pattern of work, interest, etc. and very socially isolated, and seen this too. My work is the only area I mix with people, and that's on a strictly professional basis - show me a works party, and I'll show 20 excuses lined up to say I would just love to come, but couldn't make it to my regret!
Show me a meeting of similar techie types and I'll risk to for a biscuit! (as long as the coffee's good!)), even the typicals know how to talk techie, and that goes a long way to bridging a gap!
A common language for atyps and typs?
(and of course, engineering type subjects are full of absolutes, human interactions, not so much!)

I don't think Autism is by any means a prerequisite, but it seems many (remembering it's not a single condition, and I suspect even more complex than just a mix of physiological conditions) have the aptitude to work with (what I think are) semantics much better than others, but lacking in other brain functions, or if not lacking so much, as the other bits overwhelm those parts (probably different for lots of cases)? But maybe more than that, there are separate aspects or skills regarding engineering, and maybe some of us are good at one or two, others are good at other ones, in the end both types come out as better on average, but for different reasons, and both could be autistic related? And some typicals also can have some of these skills, and also be good engineers (or whatever)?

Maybe even, autistic people have a fair share, but find them more accessible than others?
I only run on semantics, but although I'm apparently in the spectrum, am I classically autistic? Or do I have something else, which happens to have related symptoms? Are these questions even relevant, or just misleading?
I think many probably would have similar questions due to the nature of the beast, and how little is know about causes - the mechanisms.

 

[Aspychata]

This post came up because l met a info dump person who can dump 24/7, and then l realized my brain was trying to find connections to autism with them , but l couldn't drive a straight line and connect everything up. There was a strictness re: food choices, which can follow along, but they were open to totally doing new things, but by themselves. So then l just wanted to put them in a neat box labeled nerd/whatever. However, special interests are interesting to me, unless you are discussing paint drying times on texture vs nontexture walls, to encompass paint velocity, humidity, and what you ate for breakfast, then you lost me.

 

[Boogs]

This post came up because l met a info dump person who can dump 24/7, and then l realized my brain was trying to find connections to autism with them , but l couldn't drive a straight line and connect everything up. There was a strictness re: food choices, which can follow along, but they were open to totally doing new things, but by themselves. So then l just wanted to put them in a neat box labeled nerd/whatever. However, special interests are interesting to me, unless you are discussing paint drying times on texture vs nontexture walls, to encompass paint velocity, humidity, and what you ate for breakfast, then you lost me.

Actually, paint drying is a full and fascinating subject, almost on par with the science of watching kettles boil!
You may be badly losing out here!

Just to metaphorically reduce this from a human matter, to the contents of one of my virtual test tubes ... (ah! all safe now!)

Categorising others is hard not to do, since that's what a 'standard' brain will mostly try to do without your say so.
Our brains use categorisation in many areas, and the need to do it is constant. It's our awareness that has the chance to stop us in our tracks, and fight the discriminations the subconscious wants to apply to us. But out and out survival at the immediate level is no longer part of our world in the main. Categorisation allows very fast decisions in times of immediate danger, and using them can save your life, if the circumstances are such, but when survival can be much more a matter of how you interact with others, this tendency can be counter productive, distilling down a person of many parts, into a thing that's good, bad or indifferent. So much nuance to lose out on?

 

[Boogs]

I'm noticing a distinct, and maybe overbearing tendency in myself to preach!
Is it as bad as it's looking to me? (serious question!)

 

[vergil96]

I'm noticing a distinct, and maybe overbearing tendency in myself to preach!
Is it as bad as it's looking to me? (serious question!)

It's okay as long as you know when to stop, I guess.

Actually, paint drying is a full and fascinating subject, almost on par with the science of watching kettles boil!
You may be badly losing out here!

Agreed. I also like cooking, so breakfasts are interesting

 

[Boogs]

It's okay as long as you know when to stop, I guess.


Agreed. I also like cooking, so breakfasts are interesting

Sadly, I can't join you for that meal!
(struggle to find an appetite before about mid-afternoon at best! but I remember breakfast! )

"It's okay as long as you know when to stop, I guess."
Ah! Yes, well, and isn't that the nub of the problem? And who am I to judge what others may find ultimately repulsive? While I'd like to think I'm not totally depend on the 'adulation' of others (that's a huge and ironic joke, btw! ) I also wouldn't like to become even implicitly ostracised. Being too much of what real life has dealt, as for many (most?) minorities of all sorts (but if they stand out, then all the more so), to have that somewhere you think is not going to treat you the same, would be a bitter blow.
Not implying anything of you good readers, but of my own fears and anxieties - this can't be an uncommon experience for many here? It's impossible for me to self manage with so little experience of trying. Working relationships and communications are a very different matter running on a different rule set. But this one I don't have a rule set to go by, learning as I go in some ways.

e.g. I've been berated many times at work, sometimes in a pretty nasty passive/aggressive fashion for my emails - far too long! It's too much for some (usually those with the most pay and least work to do) to read that extra 'little' bit.
(but since I found, they don't actually look at the words but often make some sort of (wrong) gestalt interpretation, missing all the fine detail I've thought important to include). Yes, I know it's 'orrible to read! But is it that bad? I can't tell.

I can't intuit others, either between the lines, or face to face, but in normal situations, it's pretty much taboo to ask these sorts of things. Surprising how (internally) aggressive some people can become, just the concept of someone not understanding their words can be unacceptable to them!
Hence, the question! Fishing for as near an objective echo as possible.
And I know these things are unanswerable in the end, but a close guess can work wonders I've found!

(so you may guess from the length of that alone, it does bother me greatly! Maybe because I dislike it in others if directed at me, so fear to be seen the same? )

 

[vergil96]

And who am I to judge what others may find ultimately repulsive?

Facial expressions. Or if someone isn't responding when you slow down, take a small break in between.

Although, I like to rant and I ignore boring others sometimes

But yeah, I would keep professional emails short unless expected otherwise.

t's pretty much taboo to ask these sorts of things

If you're boring someone? I think many people would lie that no, because they have a weird sense of direct=rude. So this wouldn't be effective. But maybe "do you find this topic interesting?" or something like that. It's often down to how you phrase something.

 

[Boogs]

Facial expressions. Or if someone isn't responding when you slow down, take a small break in between.

I'm talking about online, here, in the main (don't use other social media). No facial expressions to read. Besides, one of my major problems is an inability to read facial expressions well, beyond the most glaringly obvious and overt one's. I can't even know, beyond responses, if anyone (and how many) may read this, and the more people, the larger the range of types of response, all too many unknows for me to work with, any unknows have to have probabilities assigned to be able to use in further thoughts. But until then they tend to sit around, refusing to die away, while blocking progress in finding answers.
I'm in the dark as to how people will respond to non-professional comms, for me it's about a dozen whatsapps to family and 4/5 friends, not much more than that, nothing socially oriented, not to mention I've only ever known one aspie (which I'm aware of), and that was long before it was a thing, and either of us had a clue about it. So having to feel my way, but if I continue on 'survival' mode of comms, I may as well never have joined here! ("you can look, but you can't touch!" iyswim, the same social isolation, and continued pretence of being 'normal' to avoid discrimination).

Although, I like to rant and I ignore boring others sometimes

And why not, but just looking at my posts, this isn't normal (ha ha ha! what am I saying! Normal! ) at all,it seems. I know the extreme length alone is significant, especially when it's not just for specific things like a blog post. But the whole tone is starting to look a little suspicious to me? Maybe a little ingratiating? (which makes sense, but isn't pleasant to consider), maybe pretentious? even hypocritical? But worse of all it seems, the lecturing bit could well come across badly for some, especially with so much of it in such a short time (e.g. over a few days), not to mention generally negative topics when it's not about actual people (e.g. users of this site), but rather social comment etc?
These are all questions I founder on, having only myself to ask, and knowing full well the answers are poisoned by the very fact of the problem as it relates to me, but until satisfactory conclusions come of them, they stay stuck in there, constantly tapping my shoulder for attention.

But yeah, I would keep professional emails short unless expected otherwise.


If you're boring someone? I think many people would lie that no, because they have a weird sense of direct=rude. So this wouldn't be effective. But maybe "do you find this topic interesting?" or something like that. It's often down to how you phrase something.

So hard to judge, so many different types of reader to cater for, so many misunderstandings to make, and consequently worry over, I think the very question itself (that I asked originally) is a symptom of something more fundamental in myself, and in a way I'm trying to use these forums to work through thoughts I've never been able to conclude satisfactorily on my own (based on the evidence as I pick up on). It's an experiment to be honest, while also, I think, satisfying a need for some sort of company of people I can relate to at some level, and visa versa. As it's slowly become something that's raised itself above all other symptoms, to become a core life issue - when loneliness becomes so demotivating that a future diminishes so much there's little to want to live for (sorry for the melodrama - it's not a suicide thing at all!), or better, to strive for, and a life time of my own company has finally become insufficient, however much I'm comfortable in myself (anxiety minimised for one thing! I won't misunderstand myself so much!), I've eventually been pushed to change something, and this was the best thing I could think of, that's safe, and in the right direction (company of like, or at least non judgemental, people).

The above is such a shallow explanation, but I know I can't put more in as it'll just make it unreadable in the end, but my mind is bursting to add 'this' and 'that' to explain, to avoid misunderstanding, to try and add my context, over your idea of what that context may be (each of us have their own unique answer).

There! See! I've done it again! (and not deliberately, although that would be rather hard to prove! )
I can see a new and different style being of interest/amusement/ even relished just for some variety, but I think it could get old very quickly, and some people, maybe those who have a different outlook in general about the world, find it grates and becomes a problem? A subconscious wind up ("Oh no! Not him again!") even if being left unread it can still intrude unreasonably I think? especially if others responded, creating a small invisible division? (I'm very unsure about social group dynamics, pinch of salt there?).

I just know I'm overthinking this by far, to boot!

 

[Aspychata]

Back to nerd- is this autistic or can it be NT or does being on the spectrum mean you are nerdy?

 

[vergil96]

Back to nerd- is this autistic or can it be NT or does being on the spectrum mean you are nerdy?

A lot of people have some autistic traits but not in such intensity that would be autism, would justify a diagnosis. It's not black and white. IMO.

 

[Boogs]

You could open up your own post asking this question instead of completely changing the topic of my thread, just a polite heads up. @Boogs
As my post was a completely different subject. Just go to new post, click on tab, and you too can have a great conversation with those at the forum.

I do apologise @Aspychata !
I'm neither a social media user, nor generally used to communicating with people non-professionally. I'm feeling my way, I wasn't trying to steal the topic away, or not deliberately. I'll try harder not to do this, but being unaware of it myself, on any kind of objective level, some guidance to specifics would really help. If it was a particular thing I said, I'd be genuinely grateful to know what it was.
Also, I have difficulty initiating conversations of all types, which may be why I've done this inadvertently, and without realising I'm treading on your toes. Rules can sometimes be hard to intuit.